I don’t know how I missed this (actually I know exactly how, it’s that I was trying to close the tab as quickly as possible) but after informing us this morning that Bernie Madoff’s penis is not just tiny in length but in “circumference” as well, Sheryl Weinstein went on to note the silver lining of getting down with a small D. According to the classiest woman on earth who, by the by, is still married to the husband she cheated on with Berns, sticking it in her mouth was nothing:
“On the bright side,” she concluded, because of its size, “oral sex would be a breeze.”
Niiiiiiiiiiice tag
Japs just love the sneak attack.
see, as a woman, I don’t understand this at all. You can’t perform any special tricks when there’s no length or width – the tongue movement goes unused, basically.
but you could suck on that squidlike sack all night long
@3 I think, presumably, she just meant that it wasn’t too big to accommodate, no gagging, etc.
At least we know she wasn’t in any discomfort when he was pounding her butthole.
So Bernie’s gonna retire the gold Papa Goose necklace?
@3- have you had a rod jammed down your throat when you weren’t expecting it? If so, you might understand Sheryl’s point a little better. Its a little trick i like to pull when my secretary seems preoccupied during our morning session.
Ok, our brilliant journalist may have misconstrued the poor, misunderstood woman’s comment here.
I took her comment to mean that Bernie’s weenie never came near her pearly whites. She said it “would” be a breeze, not that it “was” a breeze.
Clarification required.
-Pfluger
@3 — get with the program, it’s all about the scrotum!
at what length is it too big to accomodate?
Best DB day in a loooong time and we still have an hour to go.
@11 we’re talking about width, and too long can make you gag.
@10: I’m willing to touch it, maybe nuzzle it, but that’s about it or else you’re spitting out hairs the rest of the time.
@14 There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking
that’s lemonade, right there, is what that is.
What if I have girth AND huge balls?
CG
Think I’ll have kielbasa for lunch #2.
-CG
@14, while bernie may have lost a lot of his pubes with old age, my guess is that he was a full-on waxer. i wax my sack, and the bitches love it. it’s like an appetizer.
@17 So you are The One that my Lassie was looking for.
D.Kneale
@14 my balls are as smooth as eggs.
I think she’s despicable for many reasons but I hope the bitch keeps escalating her lies and pulling the secretary into it. (She said the secty made the hotel reservations in person so that nothing showed up Bern’s CC)
I would love to see La Eleanor start fighting back in press, oh wait she already did.
“Madoff’s long-time secretary, Eleanor Squillari, recalled that Weinstein would often call Madoff and that “he would roll his eyes and then they would go and meet at a hotel.”
Asked about Squillari’s account in July, Weinstein said she had no recollection of any such meeting. “I have no idea why she would say that,” Weinstein said.”
http://www.abcnews.go.com/Blotter/Madoff/story?id=8319695&page=1
She’s a lying cheating whore who’s doing it for the money and to try to keep her husband. “Oh, he was TINY, it’s almost like I didn’t even cheat it was so small. Besides, you were emotionally abusive back then, you can’t really blame me.”
I loathe the Madoffs but I think I loathe her on almost the same level.
Seriously, all those heavy emotional necking sessions before the “big act” and you didn’t have ONE F*CKING CLUE how big, or small, his package was? Really bitch, puhlease.
Ugh.
@22 — that post is too long. no one will read it. suck on my balls now.
What about this?!?!
“By the time they reached the Willard, Weinstein wrote, she had learned that Madoff was a great kisser, a bad tipper, a name dropper, and a narcissist who may have obsessive-compulsive disorder or Tourette’s syndrome. He bought Savile Row suits and had 25 blue and 25 gray ones in his closets, numbered so as not to mix up pants and jackets, she said.”
Tourettes? Let’s just throw in the kitchen sink. It puzzles me why she didn’t make an STD claim while she was at it, or was that the subtle hint of: ““When we made love, I was on fire,””
tldr
@22 is Weinstein’s hubby
Hell hath no fury like the scorn of a woman.
Can someone tell Dennis Kneale that all the peanut butter is gone so he can stop sucking on my balls now? He has served his purpose.
CG
@23
You’re right, but suck your own balls.
That see U next Tuesday gets under my skin, she’s like kryptonite to me.
-female guest
@27 did you purposely botch that quote, ‘tard?
@29 I thought it was Catch You Next Tuesday
-Confused Guy
On fire. Really?
Hey, let her keep dribbling out (see what I did there?) these revelations through Labor Day. I’ve got nothing better to do than to wake up each morning wondering, “What intimate facts about Bernie will she reveal today?” until I can get to the prison library and check out Dealbreaker.
- Frank DiPascali
@31
Might be a coastal thing, you Easterners talk funny.
-22,29
what does this ho look like?
My grandpappy always used to compliment my manhood when I was a boy staying with him for the summer.
Dennis Kneale
guessing she swallowed, was it a sea breeze?
@31 – Can’t Understand Normal Thinking
@38 Could You Not Talk?
Anybody want some Jewish squid ink in their mouth?
Bernsy
@40: Knock on the wall. I’m sure Bubba would be happy to oblige.
@#22 – You make valid points.
Wait till Eleanor Squillari starts giving interviews discussing the Weinstein book. Cant imagine this would get more surreal, but it has.
@38
I’ll guess you’re from somewhere in flyover country. Not only did the acronym make sense so did the whole phrase.
Bravo!
-29 dumb California girl.
Down her in Butner i’ve fashioned a little rig out of a bar of Irish Spring. It works for me.
Best,
Berns
@42
Thanks, I’m embarrassed that there’s a misspelled word and a missing word in there, I’m telling you the woman is my own personal kryptonite!
This has gotten so bizarre I can almost envision a Jerry Springer type of showdown between Eleanor and Sheryl…should Jerry add a surprise third guest (Ruth) or fourth+ guest(s) (massage girl(s) #1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, or 10+), this thing could pull more eyeballs than Bill and Monica ever dreamed.
Had you ever thought you’d be reading about the size of a man’s penis on Bloomberg? Good Lord.
I hope this liar’s book hits the remainders bin in the second week it comes out.
I know.
tl:dr.
-kryptonized
Does HCP need a need a new CFO??
Don’t know about you, but I am buying the book.
Gennifer Flowers
@47
You and the rest of white trash America where this event even registered.
Let us know whether or not Bill liked it, ‘kay?
Bess, you need to get laid ;)
squid is not kosher
Two questions where are the pics of Weinstein and would she like to join me for a drink?
- Talking Head douche & Ex-Gov Spitz