I know he’s not a the CFO of a bank or anything but presumably he’s got access to a coupla private jets? Anyway, I think Phil’s request to meet him on the green this weekend just caught Maria off guard, which is why she got all flustered and claimed to have plans. She’ll be there. She’ll be there.
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the offer to be DP’ed by me and Bob Diamond still stands.
god her voice is torture…send her to gitmo to extract confessions by reading from teleprompter
maria only bangs machers. no bid for waspy lefty dick.
I don’t understand this thread. What happened?
whoa nelly! maria b was all verklempt at that curve ball. that deserves a zorro snap – we do need the video. while thinking about phil’s plane, she must have had flashbacks of her dalliances with toddy t on the private jet to asia…I’ll be out there on saturday, will let you know if I see the money honey rooting her man on.
@4 Mickelson, perhaps looking for a piece, asked Maria when he was going to see her ass out on the green, and invited her for this weekend. She got all flustered and was like oh, umm, I, I think I have plans, but it’s a huge honor! and Phil told Bob she was turning him down. It was awkward. And electric.
Fat jokes in 3..2..1..
@7 huh?
Yeah Beth….back-story?
MB just now: “We’ve got some hotshots on the show today!”
and I wanted them all to run trains on me!
It’s because Maria knew she’d put 4″ deep divots on the green as soon as she stepped foot on them.
@9 see beth’s comment @4.
Beth: Get George Michael to load up the vid…
@11 – easily solvable with some sort of snowshoe like contraption.
Only I’m not sure they make such things in bovine sizes.
Lucille2@13 the video’s not available yet. it will be posted shortly.
ive heard from various sources that phil and wife are swingers.
11, that was perfect.
Ok..OK….So Phil made some offer to rendezvous somewhere to play with balls and aircraft were mentioned and she had a flashback to “that time” which created a palpable ripple in the force while on live TV. Interesting. Not as interesting as Elle McPherson belching the alphabet but interesting just the same.
Lt. Frank Drebin
Police Squad
Private jets? Phil, call me.
Nails
Phil was hoping Maria would meet him later to compare bra sizes
Hey!! Everyone who might have a golf joke? OK, look we’ve probably heard them all before so could you just post the punchline without the joke? Thanks for your help with the brevity.
~Guy Who Knows Shitloads of Golf Jokes
@15…And CFOs everywhere claim victory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4qOKybOKXs
I love putting from the frog hair.
My punchlines:
“Well, it’s the least I could do after 35 years of marriage.”
“Wait a minute…I think I can get them both with one shot…”
“Good God man!!! Don’t you remember the last time you gave me that advice? I triple bogeyed the hole!!”
“I’m calling Arnold Palmer to find out what the par on this hole is…”
I’ll go witcha, Phil. They got skee ball at Liberty National?
-CG
Icky Woods.
I didn’t know Mick was considering a move back to using a Big Bertha.
Larry Wachtel used to pronounce her name “Buttaroma.” If you close your eyes for a minute and inhale, you can smell that perfume.
Heard from a Bandon Dunes looper who also caddies in Phoenix:
Q – What’s the difference between Phil and Amy Mickelson?
A – She has a real smile and fake tits
@21-
“Whaddya mean, wrong hole??!”
- pfluger
@28, i’ve always been a buyer. i would love to catch a whiff of that hiney olfactory.
@21 “And I swear, Your Honor, that’s exactly what happened.”
@28/31 — Wachtel always had a nose for ass.
@31, its gynormous. @20 +1, well played.
i’d hit that hole on or off the course
@19 A+
@20 FTW!
Am I wrong for hoping that a large bucket of cold water is splashed across Phil’s white shirt?
Anyone else remember the rumor that michael jordan was dipping his whick in mickelsons old lady?
michael jackson has a dick?
“Well, Maria, I was just poking around the DealBreaker site for some financial ideas and a new company, HandBridge Capital, was discussed.
Perhaps we could get together on the green and discuss this unique and exciting opportunity with you.”
What does this have to do with finance? I miss the days when Art Cashin had hair, and used to tee-bag me down at the Battery, before hitting the ferry.
Mark Klein MD
Semen you’re showing multiple personality disorders.
The urban myth is true. I removed some of my ribs in order to suck my own dick. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
-Mark Klein MD
@43
I self med
Mark Klein MD
@27…I got it!! Great one!
@30….One of my favorite punchlines!
~The Joke Briefer
@Seaman – your tolerance levels have risen again, time to up the dosage.
I have a patchy, knit recliner at home that I use to sit in and pet my cat, named Fleshbot. Sometimes, I pee into empty gatorade bottles, place said bottle on my windowsill to let it warm, before drinking it. Other times I highlight my eye lids, stand in front of the mirror, and blink really fast. I remember when an honest day’s work was tarring rooftops in the Bronx with my uncle Kyle. He liked to put a pencil in his mouth while ballparking figures. When he’d set it down on the ledge, I’d pick it up and smell his saliva. To this day, I hang around gas stations because I like seeing the fumes dance in the heat. I really really like Chuck-E-Cheese’s pizza. 36 is such a silly number.
-Mark Klein MD
she refers to the event as a “tooorneminte” and the banker guy calls it a “tournament”.
maria is so banging
The rumor about Jordan and and Amy had been out there for a while. Apparently phil witnessed it and found it rather disturbing. I believe he subsequently imploded in the 4th round of one of the majors…but don’t remember which one.
Then LeBeouf said “I better take a Mulligan”.
dumping on mark klein md is the new killing it
BTW kiddies, I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure the “MD” in “Mark Klein MD” is the Medical Doctor, not Managing Director moniker. Guy is way too retarded to even be a MD selling equities in Dallas.
Mark Klein MD = TGFD
http://equityprivate.typepad.com/ep/2006/09/ode_to_dr_mark_.html
EP’s prose sucked my will to live so I ended up tl;dr
Well its not like she gets attention from ANYONE so how is she supposed to respond to that?
@56
That was torture to read. So it’s Dr. Mark Klein, MD.
I can picture the CIA getting Cheney to record that prose and playing it back to the prisoners at Gitmo until they confess. It wouldn’t take long.
The Money Honey is slowly morphing into Helen Thomas.
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