I know he's not a the CFO of a bank or anything but presumably he's got access to a coupla private jets? Anyway, I think Phil's request to meet him on the green this weekend just caught Maria off guard, which is why she got all flustered and claimed to have plans. She'll be there. She'll be there.
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Posted by Phil , Aug 26, 2009 3:37PM
the offer to be DP'ed by me and Bob Diamond still stands.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:38PM
god her voice is torture...send her to gitmo to extract confessions by reading from teleprompter
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:39PM
maria only bangs machers. no bid for waspy lefty dick.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:42PM
I don't understand this thread. What happened?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 26, 2009 3:46PM
whoa nelly! maria b was all verklempt at that curve ball. that deserves a zorro snap - we do need the video. while thinking about phil's plane, she must have had flashbacks of her dalliances with toddy t on the private jet to asia...I'll be out there on saturday, will let you know if I see the money honey rooting her man on.
Posted by Bess Levin , Aug 26, 2009 3:46PM
@4 Mickelson, perhaps looking for a piece, asked Maria when he was going to see her ass out on the green, and invited her for this weekend. She got all flustered and was like oh, umm, I, I think I have plans, but it's a huge honor! and Phil told Bob she was turning him down. It was awkward. And electric.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:48PM
Fat jokes in 3..2..1..
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:50PM
@7 huh?
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:51PM
Yeah Beth....back-story?
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:52PM
MB just now: "We've got some hotshots on the show today!"
and I wanted them all to run trains on me!
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:52PM
It's because Maria knew she'd put 4" deep divots on the green as soon as she stepped foot on them.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:53PM
@9 see beth's comment @4.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:54PM
Beth: Get George Michael to load up the vid...
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:55PM
@11 - easily solvable with some sort of snowshoe like contraption.
Only I'm not sure they make such things in bovine sizes.
Posted by Bess Levin , Aug 26, 2009 3:56PM
Lucille2@13 the video's not available yet. it will be posted shortly.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 3:58PM
ive heard from various sources that phil and wife are swingers.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:00PM
11, that was perfect.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:02PM
Ok..OK....So Phil made some offer to rendezvous somewhere to play with balls and aircraft were mentioned and she had a flashback to "that time" which created a palpable ripple in the force while on live TV. Interesting. Not as interesting as Elle McPherson belching the alphabet but interesting just the same.
Lt. Frank Drebin
Police Squad
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:05PM
Private jets? Phil, call me.
Nails
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:05PM
Phil was hoping Maria would meet him later to compare bra sizes
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:06PM
Hey!! Everyone who might have a golf joke? OK, look we've probably heard them all before so could you just post the punchline without the joke? Thanks for your help with the brevity.
~Guy Who Knows Shitloads of Golf Jokes
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:07PM
@15...And CFOs everywhere claim victory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4qOKybOKXs
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:08PM
I love putting from the frog hair.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:09PM
My punchlines:
"Well, it's the least I could do after 35 years of marriage."
"Wait a minute...I think I can get them both with one shot..."
"Good God man!!! Don't you remember the last time you gave me that advice? I triple bogeyed the hole!!"
"I'm calling Arnold Palmer to find out what the par on this hole is..."
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:15PM
I'll go witcha, Phil. They got skee ball at Liberty National?
-CG
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:20PM
Icky Woods.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:21PM
I didn't know Mick was considering a move back to using a Big Bertha.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:26PM
Larry Wachtel used to pronounce her name "Buttaroma." If you close your eyes for a minute and inhale, you can smell that perfume.
Posted by Tigger , Aug 26, 2009 4:27PM
Heard from a Bandon Dunes looper who also caddies in Phoenix:
Q - What's the difference between Phil and Amy Mickelson?
A - She has a real smile and fake tits
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:28PM
@21-
"Whaddya mean, wrong hole??!"
- pfluger
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:31PM
@28, i've always been a buyer. i would love to catch a whiff of that hiney olfactory.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:33PM
@21 "And I swear, Your Honor, that's exactly what happened."
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:35PM
@28/31 -- Wachtel always had a nose for ass.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:35PM
@31, its gynormous. @20 +1, well played.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:44PM
i'd hit that hole on or off the course
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:44PM
@19 A+
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:45PM
@20 FTW!
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:46PM
Am I wrong for hoping that a large bucket of cold water is splashed across Phil's white shirt?
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:46PM
Anyone else remember the rumor that michael jordan was dipping his whick in mickelsons old lady?
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:51PM
michael jackson has a dick?
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 4:58PM
"Well, Maria, I was just poking around the DealBreaker site for some financial ideas and a new company, HandBridge Capital, was discussed.
Perhaps we could get together on the green and discuss this unique and exciting opportunity with you."
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 26, 2009 5:19PM
What does this have to do with finance? I miss the days when Art Cashin had hair, and used to tee-bag me down at the Battery, before hitting the ferry.
Mark Klein MD
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 5:24PM
Semen you're showing multiple personality disorders.
Posted by Mark Klein MD , Aug 26, 2009 5:27PM
The urban myth is true. I removed some of my ribs in order to suck my own dick. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
-Mark Klein MD
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 26, 2009 5:29PM
@43
I self med
Mark Klein MD
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 5:29PM
@27...I got it!! Great one!
@30....One of my favorite punchlines!
~The Joke Briefer
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 26, 2009 5:32PM
@Seaman - your tolerance levels have risen again, time to up the dosage.
Posted by Mark Klein MD , Aug 26, 2009 5:44PM
I have a patchy, knit recliner at home that I use to sit in and pet my cat, named Fleshbot. Sometimes, I pee into empty gatorade bottles, place said bottle on my windowsill to let it warm, before drinking it. Other times I highlight my eye lids, stand in front of the mirror, and blink really fast. I remember when an honest day's work was tarring rooftops in the Bronx with my uncle Kyle. He liked to put a pencil in his mouth while ballparking figures. When he'd set it down on the ledge, I'd pick it up and smell his saliva. To this day, I hang around gas stations because I like seeing the fumes dance in the heat. I really really like Chuck-E-Cheese's pizza. 36 is such a silly number.
-Mark Klein MD
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 5:45PM
she refers to the event as a "tooorneminte" and the banker guy calls it a "tournament".
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 6:05PM
maria is so banging
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 6:10PM
The rumor about Jordan and and Amy had been out there for a while. Apparently phil witnessed it and found it rather disturbing. I believe he subsequently imploded in the 4th round of one of the majors...but don't remember which one.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Aug 26, 2009 6:24PM
Then LeBeouf said "I better take a Mulligan".
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 6:54PM
dumping on mark klein md is the new killing it
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 26, 2009 7:19PM
BTW kiddies, I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure the "MD" in "Mark Klein MD" is the Medical Doctor, not Managing Director moniker. Guy is way too retarded to even be a MD selling equities in Dallas.
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 10:17PM
Mark Klein MD = TGFD
Posted by guest , Aug 26, 2009 10:24PM
http://equityprivate.typepad.com/ep/2006/09/ode_to_dr_mark_.html
EP's prose sucked my will to live so I ended up tl;dr
Posted by e_anthony58 , Aug 26, 2009 11:00PM
Well its not like she gets attention from ANYONE so how is she supposed to respond to that?
Posted by guest , Aug 27, 2009 3:55AM
@56
That was torture to read. So it's Dr. Mark Klein, MD.
I can picture the CIA getting Cheney to record that prose and playing it back to the prisoners at Gitmo until they confess. It wouldn't take long.
Posted by guest , Aug 27, 2009 5:59AM
The Money Honey is slowly morphing into Helen Thomas.
Posted by Pawslurldourl , Sep 06, 2009 8:13PM
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