- Monthly MetroCard
- iPhone 3GS
- Cialis Prescription
- Anything at all at “per se”
- Jeep Wrangler (even factoring in cash-for-clunkers subsidy)
- Oriental Avenue
Best reader entry before 5pm ET gets a (weak but amusing) prize.
Ruth Madoff Can’t Spend $100 Without Telling Trustee [Bloomberg]
Oh, EP, sinking to a poll this early in the afternoon?
It’s gonna be an ugly week, I can tell.
wax
Why does one of the Captains of the starship “Enterprise” have to be informed of her purchases?? WTF?? The guys working the “algo” desk didn’t know why either.
~Lehman Quant Ombudsman
@1 FTW!
blow-up Bernie doll
Sex with Elliot Spitzer’s escort
A replacement for Shudder, my trusty companion.
a monthly metrocard is $89, assclown.
@3 Cue The Joke Briefer.
http://www.VibratingTouch.com
An STD test after sleeping with Chris Theoharris after meeting him at the FMF party and thinking, “He reminds so much of Bernie”.
If I were the Swiss I would ask the USA for a little help with the IRS/UBS issue before helping the State Department with its Iran captured hicker issue.
botox, post tax
a Z.J. (if you don’t know what it is, you probably can’t afford one)
Where is the poll about whether the S&P is going to break 1000 today (closing)? I know it will bring back memories of the Obama Portfolio that many played short and are now homeless. But really, that will bring more traffic in this desperate day.
OK, back to my cave!
@1: totally
collagen injections, per lip
@14 – Ruth can’t afford to get a zip job?! She needs to be a dude for that to even work.
I give up.
Congress
WHAT IS A ZIP JOB?!
CHiPs DVD Box Set (All 129 Episodes)
Free anal bleaching from Dylan Ratigan.
how about some powder for that shiny forehead…
English to Spanish Rosetta Stone so she can communicate with her new neighbors.
In a fit of desperation, Greg and EP put their heads together and came up with…….this?
At least the prize is commensurate with the post.
On the other hand, owing to the “best reader entry before 5pm ET” clause, and considering the precipitous fall off of reader comments that tends to coincide with the absence of Bess, I’ll likely have no worse than a 1 in 30 chance.
Channeling John Kerry just now:
Question: “Do you suppose Ruthy wears granny panties or thongs?”
Answer: Depends*
*$76.95 a case + $28.99 for “Tranquility Booster” inserts = $105.94 before S&H
http://www.northshorecare.com/briefs-depend.htm
Seriously, BRING BESS BACK
1,
If you were Gates and I Crowley, I’d arrest you again, for kicks.
2,
What, are you a gypsy? Back to “Romania,” or whatever your people call it.
8,
My apologies. Not a “pedestrian,” if you shall. Speaking of which, please enlighten me as to what a McDonald’s “dollar-menu” consists of nowadays.
15,
Shouldn’t you get back to the office? Word processing is missing their “numba’ 1 stunna’.”
Is a zip job like a gentleman’s stitch?
Vagasil?
Labial surgery to correct asymmetries.
Great article about the world’s freshwater supply:
http://farmlandforecast.colvin-co.com/2009/08/03/the-future-of-freshwater-part-i.aspx
Ovaries
I think anyone who reads DB this week should get some sort of prize. I know Bess deserves a vacation, but this is absurd. At least Greg makes EP look good.
(heightening) lifts?
OK, Greg and EP. Just post a picture from Fashion Meets Finance and let us go at it
Valtrex. Those monthly flare ups will become a tad more noticable.
-EH
Prosthetic testicles
“Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities” emblazened snuggie off of Ebay
Guatemalan pool boy
Betty Crocker File in the Cake home baking kit.
Rods for her boys
Greg’s Blanus
@35 I second that.
A win-win for all.
the rights to her naked pictures that have spread around the internet
@35 I third.
Bobble-Head Bernie!
deuce bigelow ho ho oh u didnt know?!?
Time to cop-a-plea Ruth. Tell us what you know and how you and the boys helped the big B and you could get an all expense paid trip to Camp Cupcake and stay in the Martha Stewart suite. At least you’ll get 3 squares a day and may even find a new love interest.
Monthly Metro North ticket from her new home in Mount Vernon to the City.
Tiny rock hammers and 300 nail files for her inevitable trip to the slammer and subsequent “Shawshank” escape attempt.
X-mas gift for a dear friend?
http://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Self-Help-Litigation-Manual-Manville/dp/037920830X/ref=sid_dp_dp
Fees relating to a name change.
@50 FTW
- @50
(at least I am honest about it..)
@52
Why stop with just a name change?
EP- My people call it Brazilian. You may call it lunch.
2
“Two CHiPs DVD Box Sets” (All 129 Episodes)
My Cialis refills are $96., so that ain’t it!
A “shake weight”
http://www.break.com/index/hilarious-shake-weight-exercise-for-women.html
CHiPs! It’s Chris TheoWhatever’s older brother.
http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/f/f5/adu.sized.jpg
Indoor Dog Restroom from the Sky Mall catalog.
http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102628291&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-102628291
One way Jet Blue ticket to Raleigh, North Carolina
Snuggies!
matching orange PJs
(with stripes optional)
@ 53, it kind of sucked. No offense.
The Bernard Madoff Porcelain Wall Urinal
http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Bernard-Madoff-Porcelain-Ceramic-Art-Wall-Urinal_W0QQitemZ350226610020QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518b21f764&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
55,
Why would you ever admit you’re Brazillian? Just say, “Portuguese.” It’s like “Persian” instead of Iranian.
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Muffie why don’t you ever write on your blog anymore?
I hate Persians. They killed my camel toe.
She can get a massage at West Garden, for 15 minutes, but she can’t tip, and no touching titties.
The Muffster must move in the same circles as EP.
Facts of the matter:
#1 Muffie only posts when EP does
#2 I have no other facts, sorry.
PS. Muffie, we miss you dearly. The beds too big without you.
- The Police
Everyone should have a limited edition Bernie Madoff bust piggy bank
http://cgi.ebay.com/Bernard-Bernie-Madoff-Bust-Piggy-Bank-Limited-Edition_W0QQitemZ320360578912QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4a96fa7f60&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
66 – Your comment was an inane juxtaposition. “My people”‘s ethnicity is separate from “it” being called “Brazilian”.
Get back to fluffing.
2&55
Citigroup stock
67,
Thank you for inquiring. I’ve been away from the States these past few months, as Daddy’s taken us to Macau in order to overwrite some securities and stuff. Things have been so stressful and sad. I purchased the new 5.0 V8 Range Rover, and it was cheaper than last year’s model! Ick. I hate underpaying. Beyond that, things have been okay. It’s good to see that after my father fired his caddy, Larry landed on his feet in the beltway.
Hopefully more to come! I miss you guys a real lot.
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
72,
Shouldn’t you be playing soccer or following your brother Che on a motorcycle or something? God, I hate mexicans.
72,
Shouldn’t you be playing soccer or following your brother Che on a motorcycle or something? God, I hate mexicans.
Oops!
- Muffie Benson-Perella
A tongue condom.
A case of Steel Reserve 40 o-zees, and a copy of “My Urban Neighbors: How to Survive With Your New Acquintances” by Earl Simmons.
A ZJ, if you have to ask, you can’t afford it
Dealbreaker should be the NY Post of Finance and Business, not the Andy Rooney of The Economist.
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay’s iShare “MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund” (current price – $17.31 per share)
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay’s iShare “MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund” (current price – $17.31 per share)
5 shamwow’s
4 cases of MHL
Her husband’s freedom
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay’s iShare “MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund” (current price – $17.31 per share)
Blumpkin of the Month club.
Boom. done.
muffie = ep
(if you didn’t know)
@74 – you clearly don’t know muffie, her signature is:
“Sent from my iPhone” not “Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry”
@87 – I am gunna shit in yer mouth and call you sally.
-74
87,
That’s absurd. You, of all people, should know that, A) my iphone is exclusively used to peruse ClosetFlow, B) bberries are used to message crimson alums (natch, as we’re both from the Program), and C) my posts don’t automatically create a mobile device signature after Arthur shows me home, brings my laptop to the pool, and fetches my French martini(s).
Cluzo, frankly…if you lie with dogs, don’t be surprised when you rise with fleas (Kant, 1872).
87,
That’s absurd. You, of all people, should know that, A) my iphone is exclusively used to peruse ClosetFlow, B) bberries are used to message crimson alums (natch, as we’re both from the Program), and C) my posts don’t automatically create a mobile device signature after Arthur shows me home, brings my laptop to the pool, and fetches my French martini(s).
Cluzo, frankly…if you lie with dogs, don’t be surprised when you rise with fleas (Kant, 1872).
Ooooops again!
- Muffie Benson-Perella
@74/88 – bring it you useless jeffries intern. let’s meet behind the shake shack, I have a feeling that I’ll be hungry when I’m done with you…
Mmmmm shake shack… gimmesome
CG
Heading toward the century mark… strong showing for the first day sans Bess.
@90 muff-star, I see you have lost some of that “attention to detail” from your analyst days…
ps. you don’t have fleas. let’s grab a drink at the club this week. k thx bye.
Dennis Kneale kicked my toddler and ate my collie.
I’m serial.
Yes I agree they must ask first the USA for a little help with the IRS/UBS issue.
Todd DiRoberto
http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/todd-diroberto.asp?cycle=08
Ace of Cakes ‘Black and Decker Deluxe’ special
An Ultra-Short SPY ETF
Mega Bus ticket to Brazil
What do I win? It is 4:38 EST
75/76: Self indicting inefficiency. But you’re consistent.
72
day one without bessy – we’ve got 99…do I hear 100?
@99
WTF I’m stuck here with nothing better to do…
A slanket!
I use mine every day in the big house.
-OJ
Now that the Birn dog isn’t around anymore…
http://www.s3safesexstore.com/products/product_detail.asp?guid=6944A1686272431B83A8ADD3654F7C10