- Monthly MetroCard
- iPhone 3GS
- Cialis Prescription
- Anything at all at "per se"
- Jeep Wrangler (even factoring in cash-for-clunkers subsidy)
- Oriental Avenue
Best reader entry before 5pm ET gets a (weak but amusing) prize.
Ruth Madoff Can't Spend $100 Without Telling Trustee [Bloomberg]
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:00PM
Oh, EP, sinking to a poll this early in the afternoon?
It's gonna be an ugly week, I can tell.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:00PM
wax
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:00PM
Why does one of the Captains of the starship "Enterprise" have to be informed of her purchases?? WTF?? The guys working the "algo" desk didn't know why either.
~Lehman Quant Ombudsman
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:00PM
@1 FTW!
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:01PM
blow-up Bernie doll
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:01PM
Sex with Elliot Spitzer's escort
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:02PM
A replacement for Shudder, my trusty companion.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:03PM
a monthly metrocard is $89, assclown.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:05PM
@3 Cue The Joke Briefer.
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 03, 2009 1:06PM
www.VibratingTouch.com
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:06PM
An STD test after sleeping with Chris Theoharris after meeting him at the FMF party and thinking, "He reminds so much of Bernie".
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:06PM
If I were the Swiss I would ask the USA for a little help with the IRS/UBS issue before helping the State Department with its Iran captured hicker issue.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:07PM
botox, post tax
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:07PM
a Z.J. (if you don't know what it is, you probably can't afford one)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:09PM
Where is the poll about whether the S&P is going to break 1000 today (closing)? I know it will bring back memories of the Obama Portfolio that many played short and are now homeless. But really, that will bring more traffic in this desperate day.
OK, back to my cave!
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:09PM
@1: totally
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Aug 03, 2009 1:10PM
collagen injections, per lip
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 03, 2009 1:12PM
@14 - Ruth can't afford to get a zip job?! She needs to be a dude for that to even work.
I give up.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:14PM
Congress
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:17PM
WHAT IS A ZIP JOB?!
Posted by coldsweat , Aug 03, 2009 1:17PM
CHiPs DVD Box Set (All 129 Episodes)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:18PM
Free anal bleaching from Dylan Ratigan.
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 03, 2009 1:19PM
how about some powder for that shiny forehead...
Posted by wcburrs87 , Aug 03, 2009 1:20PM
English to Spanish Rosetta Stone so she can communicate with her new neighbors.
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Aug 03, 2009 1:20PM
In a fit of desperation, Greg and EP put their heads together and came up with.......this?
At least the prize is commensurate with the post.
On the other hand, owing to the "best reader entry before 5pm ET" clause, and considering the precipitous fall off of reader comments that tends to coincide with the absence of Bess, I'll likely have no worse than a 1 in 30 chance.
Channeling John Kerry just now:
Question: "Do you suppose Ruthy wears granny panties or thongs?"
Answer: Depends*
*$76.95 a case + $28.99 for "Tranquility Booster" inserts = $105.94 before S&H
http://www.northshorecare.com/briefs-depend.htm
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:21PM
Seriously, BRING BESS BACK
Posted by Equity Pirate , Aug 03, 2009 1:23PM
1,
If you were Gates and I Crowley, I'd arrest you again, for kicks.
2,
What, are you a gypsy? Back to "Romania," or whatever your people call it.
8,
My apologies. Not a "pedestrian," if you shall. Speaking of which, please enlighten me as to what a McDonald's "dollar-menu" consists of nowadays.
15,
Shouldn't you get back to the office? Word processing is missing their "numba' 1 stunna'."
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:26PM
Is a zip job like a gentleman's stitch?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:27PM
Vagasil?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:28PM
Labial surgery to correct asymmetries.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:29PM
Great article about the world's freshwater supply:
http://farmlandforecast.colvin-co.com/2009/08/03/the-future-of-freshwater-part-i.aspx
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:32PM
Ovaries
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:37PM
I think anyone who reads DB this week should get some sort of prize. I know Bess deserves a vacation, but this is absurd. At least Greg makes EP look good.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:41PM
(heightening) lifts?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:44PM
OK, Greg and EP. Just post a picture from Fashion Meets Finance and let us go at it
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:47PM
Valtrex. Those monthly flare ups will become a tad more noticable.
-EH
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:49PM
Prosthetic testicles
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:50PM
"Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities" emblazened snuggie off of Ebay
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:54PM
Guatemalan pool boy
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 1:56PM
Betty Crocker File in the Cake home baking kit.
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 03, 2009 1:59PM
Rods for her boys
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:00PM
Greg's Blanus
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:08PM
@35 I second that.
A win-win for all.
Posted by mutrader , Aug 03, 2009 2:09PM
the rights to her naked pictures that have spread around the internet
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:10PM
@35 I third.
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Aug 03, 2009 2:11PM
Bobble-Head Bernie!
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:12PM
deuce bigelow ho ho oh u didnt know?!?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:12PM
Time to cop-a-plea Ruth. Tell us what you know and how you and the boys helped the big B and you could get an all expense paid trip to Camp Cupcake and stay in the Martha Stewart suite. At least you'll get 3 squares a day and may even find a new love interest.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:13PM
Monthly Metro North ticket from her new home in Mount Vernon to the City.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:16PM
Tiny rock hammers and 300 nail files for her inevitable trip to the slammer and subsequent "Shawshank" escape attempt.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:16PM
X-mas gift for a dear friend?
http://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Self-Help-Litigation-Manual-Manville/dp/037920830X/ref=sid_dp_dp
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:20PM
Fees relating to a name change.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:20PM
@50 FTW
- @50
(at least I am honest about it..)
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 03, 2009 2:21PM
@52
Why stop with just a name change?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:21PM
EP- My people call it Brazilian. You may call it lunch.
2
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:21PM
“Two CHiPs DVD Box Sets” (All 129 Episodes)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:22PM
My Cialis refills are $96., so that ain't it!
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:23PM
A "shake weight"
http://www.break.com/index/hilarious-shake-weight-exercise-for-women.html
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:29PM
CHiPs! It's Chris TheoWhatever's older brother.
http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/f/f5/adu.sized.jpg
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:32PM
Indoor Dog Restroom from the Sky Mall catalog.
http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102628291&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-102628291
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:34PM
One way Jet Blue ticket to Raleigh, North Carolina
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:36PM
Snuggies!
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:42PM
matching orange PJs
(with stripes optional)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:42PM
@ 53, it kind of sucked. No offense.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:43PM
The Bernard Madoff Porcelain Wall Urinal
http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Bernard-Madoff-Porcelain-Ceramic-Art-Wall-Urinal_W0QQitemZ350226610020QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518b21f764&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:47PM
55,
Why would you ever admit you're Brazillian? Just say, "Portuguese." It's like "Persian" instead of Iranian.
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:58PM
Muffie why don't you ever write on your blog anymore?
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 2:59PM
I hate Persians. They killed my camel toe.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 03, 2009 3:01PM
She can get a massage at West Garden, for 15 minutes, but she can't tip, and no touching titties.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:01PM
The Muffster must move in the same circles as EP.
Facts of the matter:
#1 Muffie only posts when EP does
#2 I have no other facts, sorry.
PS. Muffie, we miss you dearly. The beds too big without you.
- The Police
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:02PM
Everyone should have a limited edition Bernie Madoff bust piggy bank
http://cgi.ebay.com/Bernard-Bernie-Madoff-Bust-Piggy-Bank-Limited-Edition_W0QQitemZ320360578912QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4a96fa7f60&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:03PM
66 - Your comment was an inane juxtaposition. "My people"'s ethnicity is separate from "it" being called "Brazilian".
Get back to fluffing.
2&55
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:09PM
Citigroup stock
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:09PM
67,
Thank you for inquiring. I've been away from the States these past few months, as Daddy's taken us to Macau in order to overwrite some securities and stuff. Things have been so stressful and sad. I purchased the new 5.0 V8 Range Rover, and it was cheaper than last year's model! Ick. I hate underpaying. Beyond that, things have been okay. It's good to see that after my father fired his caddy, Larry landed on his feet in the beltway.
Hopefully more to come! I miss you guys a real lot.
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:12PM
72,
Shouldn't you be playing soccer or following your brother Che on a motorcycle or something? God, I hate mexicans.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:13PM
72,
Shouldn't you be playing soccer or following your brother Che on a motorcycle or something? God, I hate mexicans.
Oops!
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:24PM
A tongue condom.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:36PM
A case of Steel Reserve 40 o-zees, and a copy of "My Urban Neighbors: How to Survive With Your New Acquintances" by Earl Simmons.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:36PM
A ZJ, if you have to ask, you can't afford it
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:38PM
Dealbreaker should be the NY Post of Finance and Business, not the Andy Rooney of The Economist.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:48PM
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay's iShare "MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund" (current price - $17.31 per share)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:50PM
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay's iShare "MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund" (current price - $17.31 per share)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:50PM
5 shamwow's
4 cases of MHL
Her husband's freedom
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:51PM
1) Michael Jackson commemorative coin set
2) one year of tai chi lessons
3) more than 5 shares of the Barclay's iShare "MCSI Netherlands Investable Market Index Fund" (current price - $17.31 per share)
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 3:56PM
Blumpkin of the Month club.
Boom. done.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:12PM
muffie = ep
(if you didn't know)
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 03, 2009 4:20PM
@74 - you clearly don't know muffie, her signature is:
"Sent from my iPhone" not "Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry"
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:38PM
@87 - I am gunna shit in yer mouth and call you sally.
-74
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:41PM
87,
That's absurd. You, of all people, should know that, A) my iphone is exclusively used to peruse ClosetFlow, B) bberries are used to message crimson alums (natch, as we're both from the Program), and C) my posts don't automatically create a mobile device signature after Arthur shows me home, brings my laptop to the pool, and fetches my French martini(s).
Cluzo, frankly...if you lie with dogs, don't be surprised when you rise with fleas (Kant, 1872).
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:42PM
87,
That's absurd. You, of all people, should know that, A) my iphone is exclusively used to peruse ClosetFlow, B) bberries are used to message crimson alums (natch, as we're both from the Program), and C) my posts don't automatically create a mobile device signature after Arthur shows me home, brings my laptop to the pool, and fetches my French martini(s).
Cluzo, frankly...if you lie with dogs, don't be surprised when you rise with fleas (Kant, 1872).
Ooooops again!
- Muffie Benson-Perella
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 03, 2009 4:42PM
@74/88 - bring it you useless jeffries intern. let's meet behind the shake shack, I have a feeling that I'll be hungry when I'm done with you...
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:50PM
Mmmmm shake shack... gimmesome
CG
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 03, 2009 4:52PM
Heading toward the century mark... strong showing for the first day sans Bess.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 03, 2009 4:54PM
@90 muff-star, I see you have lost some of that "attention to detail" from your analyst days...
ps. you don't have fleas. let's grab a drink at the club this week. k thx bye.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 4:55PM
Dennis Kneale kicked my toddler and ate my collie.
I'm serial.
Posted by amsat , Aug 03, 2009 5:02PM
Yes I agree they must ask first the USA for a little help with the IRS/UBS issue.
Todd DiRoberto
http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/todd-diroberto.asp?cycle=08
Posted by Richard Whitney , Aug 03, 2009 5:38PM
Ace of Cakes 'Black and Decker Deluxe' special
An Ultra-Short SPY ETF
Mega Bus ticket to Brazil
What do I win? It is 4:38 EST
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 6:22PM
75/76: Self indicting inefficiency. But you're consistent.
72
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 03, 2009 6:27PM
day one without bessy - we've got 99...do I hear 100?
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 03, 2009 6:45PM
@99
WTF I'm stuck here with nothing better to do...
Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2009 8:07AM
A slanket!
I use mine every day in the big house.
-OJ
Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2009 12:40PM
Now that the Birn dog isn't around anymore...
http://www.s3safesexstore.com/products/product_detail.asp?guid=6944A1686272431B83A8ADD3654F7C10