• 10 Aug 2009 at 9:33 AM

Music Still Playing For UBS

By Greg Michaels

Final Jeopardy.jpgHaving made it to the last round of the Jeopardy! Tax Evasion Tournament of Champions, UBS is taking its time to come up with the 52,000 responses to the Final Jeopardy answer ‘This individual attempted to circumvent the US tax code and deny the IRS its inalienable right to their money by hiding assets with you’. While the US tax authorities have a deadline for submitting the names of the tax escapees of about a month a go, Swiss authorities are taking their time trying to hold onto some semblance of the secrecy that made them famous.
Settlement talks continue to spin in place in advance of the US’s second attempt to face off against UBS in court on August 17th. On the off chance that date comes and goes without an agreement, the next time the two could find themselves in court is September 21. By then UBS might finally admit that the real reason for the delay stems from their invoking of the mercy rule and prohibiting the US from scoring any more legal victories against the bank until they can bring home one profitable quarter.

Comments (19)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    UBS Sucks

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    I’d like to make it a true blanus double.

  3. 3
    Posted by NakedShort | August 10, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    Variable Annuity Wholesaler > Jeffries Analyst > Financial Advisor at Edward Jones > Mikey’s phone call from Swingers > Executive at UBS

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    The next post I read better be by Bess…

  5. 5
    Posted by Tax Chick | August 10, 2009 at 9:48 AM

    @4 – Then you will need to stop reading until Thursday. Bess is on vacation through the 12th (Wed). Chances are that her words won’t grace these pages until Thursday.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    @ Tax Chick – Damit – I thought she was back today…what a way to start the week.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    While reading this thing by Greg I somehow went into a daze, and not in a good way.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    suck it, trebek!

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    annnnnd BOOOOM goes the BLANUS!

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    Another week???? Aaaaauuuugggghhh!!
    I’ll be over at Fashionista. Or maybe Yahoo! finance. Or maybe BangBus – I haven’t decided yet.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    Turd Ferguson is banging Greg’s mom right now! Watch live on turdbangsgregsmom.com

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    @6 – I sent bess an “i-miss-you-seriously-get-the-fuck-back-here” email on friday and Tax Chick is right… Bess is back Thursday. It’s gonna be another rough three days.

  13. 13
    Posted by Seaman Bodine II | August 10, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    this site has gone to shit – it’s like the gay season on entourage, where vince changes agents

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    THURSDAY?! My secretary’s asshole is in for another rough week.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    God help us.
    -TGFHouston

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    is greg short for gaylord?

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    FMF was last Thursday. It is 11 AM on Monday and you still can’t even come up with a post for the biggest lay-up of all time.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    Guy pays 8k to work for free for UBS:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/09/business/09intern.html?_r=1&em

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    I will take therapist for 1000 trebek

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