Bernanke, a Hero to His Own, Can’t Shake Critics (NYT)
Those bastards in Congress won’t get off his ass but on the bright side the Beard was able to attend his son’s wedding and get home in time for dinner a few times in the past couple months.
London always finds a way to shell out for bonuses (Telegraph)
According to headhunters, “guaranteed bonuses are increasingly being abused.” Since the Financial Services Authority outlawed multi-year guarantees but said it would tolerate those for a single year, “guarantees have come back in fashion,” one recruitment consultant said. “People are being offered amazing guarantees.”
SEC Plays Keep-Up in High-Tech Race (WSJ)
The regulator is trying to “take a close look at flash quotes, high-frequency trading and other dark corners of the stock markets” but really has absolutely no idea what it’s doing, if Mary Schapiro can be totally honest.
Switzerland Selling UBS Stake After U.S. Tax Accord (Bloomberg)
You get a little bad press re: breaking the law and all of a sudden no one wants anything to do with you.
Bear Stearns Exec Ignored Conflict Warnings (Reuters)
Probably too busy getting high. No, but seriously: Ralph Cioffi apparently “routinely ignored warnings of potential conflicts of interest, and was rebuffed when he tried to pledge some money toward a loan to build a luxury Florida condominium.”
Ind. money manager sentenced for Fla. plane crash (AP)
Marcus Schrenker gets four years, cries. “To this day I cannot believe I could do something so reckless and selfish,” he told U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson on Wednesday. “I believe a divine force gently put the aircraft down in the swamp. It is my hope the residents of Milton feel my pain. If someone had gotten hurt, I do not know what I would do.”
UK Movie Aims To Find Lehman Lessons (NYP)
One “former high-ranking” exec (Dick Fuld) is not happy with the casting of Corey Johnson as the Gorilla. “[He's] way too young — not hard enough, not serious enough — [and he] looks bewildered,” this person said. “Dick was never bewildered.”
______________________________________________________
This morning in gorging yourself for sport: “Today sees the famous vending machine challenge occurring in London. 6000 calories in 5.5hours by an intern at Citi. Currently finished 16 out of 27 items. Looking 50/50 to finish with a 2pm London Time cutoff.” We’ll keep you posted.
Update, 8:20AM: 40 minutes and 4 items to go
Update II: “Had 8 minutes to go…1 mars bar left….and he vomited! on the desk! FAIL!!!!”
Comments (57)
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Bess Levin
@1 “MIT ’12
Bernards High School ’08″
you = retard
Dick Fuld should be played by Dwayne Johnson, ie the Rock, not Corey.
-dick fuld
@3 agreed
@3 lick my clit
-EC
@ 2, not cool
Four out of five top commented stories involve “Handbridge”. Fascinating.
-Spock
@7 fascinating yes, but is it logical?
Eating challenge in London isnt the same. They use the metric system over there.
the death faking hedgefund guy got 4 years
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gzwq1caz3t8S2lu58LXjWqdlwVAQD9A682H00
@1: Nope.
@10, thanks for the newsflash. Your link was so much more informative than the one posted above.
You are such a newshound!
drooling over some supposedly hot blogger or rechewing a joke about a handbridge 20+ times – not something private equity rockstars would do..
PEB.
@13 how’s the mail room?
40 minutes is up… how’d the Citi intern do?
Does the Beard always arrive so early for meetings?
@15 – that has to be the smallest vending machine in the world. Make him do two laps if he wants to get any kudos from me.
That spread on the desk was it?
In 5.5 hours?
Even citi’s eating challenges are worthless…
Hey taxchick – did cluzo slip you his choco lollipop yet?
@ 13. using the term “private equity rockstar” pretty much reveals you as what you are
1 bar left then puke? epic FAIL
Just a friendly reminder to the DB commentariat that I do read these comments and will ensure that you do not wake up tomorrow if you bad mouth me.
Oh, and that intern = weak sauce. Back when I was a young buck it was 2 pounds of rusty iron chains and 3 yards of barb wire in 20 minutes. I certainly can’t leave you pansies to run the joint if this is all your interns can handle.
The Beard
No Lion Bars… lame!
@20
I know and i am. dance for me, puppet.
PEB.
I count 28 items (2 flavors of gum)….Great Britan is indeed in a sad state for failing at this. I suspect well over half the office will do 27 pints in 4 hours Friday nite…….
are you supposed to swallow the gum?
@19
Hey Snax Chick – did Cluzo slip you his choco lollichomp yet?
Snickers Ad Manager
______
(FIFY)
@13….Prease to put on kamikaze headband.
Mr. Nomura
@27 – get your own gig -
Snickers Ad Manager.
LOBSTERCLOPS IS NOT AMUSED.
@28
Mr Nomura, pls bring me the bukake bowl.
PEB.
Welcome to the New United States of Venezuela.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0809/26251.html
Given that there are 28 items in the picture and the intern was supposed to down 27, does his fail on the last item count? He downed 27 items. It was the 28th which caused the fail. Or is the fail on the British educational system because they can’t count?
So close, yet so far away…
If I had the intestinal fortitude I’d step up, alas, but I find it disturbing there isn’t a true man among the DB readership that can slay a (real) vending machine.
Tax Chick you are in a mood today!
did they also make him eat the pack of tissues in the left top corner?
@35
yeah but she doesn’t answer the question. it must have been a disappointing experience.
Here’s another symptom of why the Brits payout so well:
http://blog.paddypower.com/blog/index.php/2009/08/15/tiger-woods-eary-payout/
NO BUENO!
@tax chick.. the sad thing is that they are probably expats (if it was brits it would involve “pints of lager and snogging mingers”)…
Fail to citi – how can they get their balance sheet right if they can’t count the effing twinkies?
Tax Chick – Count Again
Fuld should be played by Corey Haim. Or is it the other one? I can never remember.
It must’ve been the Yorkie bar that did him in.
Not for girls, indeed.
@registered_user – fair point on the expats. By why on earth would one want to snog a minger?! Life is too short to waste your time on ugly people!
Now 7 pints of lager and a half stone of chips would be a challenge!
@31: Prease to tell how big bowl. Not know how hungry you are today.
Mr. Nomura
From what I know, I believe the intern shouldn’t reflect on the British, the reason: He’s from down under.
I am pleased there was no six talk from him if he’s from Austrailiar. God, six, six, six, six…….is that all you people think about? Six maniacs the lot of you.
AD
@45
not so funny mr Nomura. I haven’t had sex in 3 days so i’ll be blasting ~2 pints of manyogurt into that bowl. but don’t worry – once you take the first sip, the rest will just slide in like one big slurpy string
PEB.
Assface @41 – Perhaps you should go back to school…
1. Walkers
2. Doritos
3. Walkers
4. Mini
5. Hula Hoops
6. McCoy
7. Mars
8. Nutri-Grain
9. Maltesers
10. Quavers
11. Twiglets
12. M&Ms
13. Snack
14. KitKat
15. Cadbury Dairy Milk
16. Kellogg’s Bar
17. Yorkie
18. Snickers
19. Twirl
20. KitKat
21. Minstrel
22. Extra
23. Extra
24. Mars
25. Twix
26. Toffee Crisp
27. Bueno
28. Yorkie
@49
if you are as anal in bed as outside cluzo had a good time…
Not an aussie, a Kiwi apparently
I counted 28 as well, however, how do you “eat” two packs of gum. did he swallow?
@52
good question – did she?
@52.
No they are not Gums. We put marshmellows inside the Gum packets just to confuse the contestant.
The two gum packets (of marshmellows) are counted as 1. Hence 28 = 27 !!
@tax chick – half a stone – I like it…
re minger snogging… have you been to a bar on the wharf? you wouldn’t really have much choice…
I didn’t realize Brits had the ability to swap-out Gums so quickly…
Why the 2 packs of extra…added challenge of chewing?