Judge Rips SEC On BofA Pact (WSJ)
Rakoff: “Whatever this chain of vague expressions may mean, if it is intended to suggest that Bank of America settled this case to curry favor with the SEC or to avoid retaliation by the SEC, the Court needs to know the specifics.”
Sen. Edward Kennedy Dies After Battle With Cancer (WSJ)
Pour one out for T-Bone tonight.
The Ex-Banker Living On Alcohol, Hook-Ups, And Unemployment (NYM)
“Dinner with one of my old men. I am currently dating a few to finance my Manhattan meal plan. I promised myself the liquid diet, but not when you are having a free fabulous dinner at Del Posto. Mumble an excuse after dinner about not feeling well and having to call it an early night.”
Elle Macpherson Can’t Counter London Gloom as Americans Flee (Bloomberg)
Andrew Wesbecher is one of the many Americans escaping high taxes and a shrinking financial industry across the pond even though Elle is one of his neighbors. Of course, he might’ve stayed put if Arki Busson’s ex had done the neighborly thing and invited him over for tea and whatnot but no matter. According to Mark Tilden, “Expats feel the tone has changed; it’s less welcoming. London’s ability to attract talent has gone down.”
Citadel Cuts Name From Unit (WSJ)
Citadel Solutions LLC will become Omnium in order to “boost the perception that its fund-administration arm is managed independently from its hedge-fund business, employees of the firm have told people.”
April Thank You From Obama Started Embrace of Bernanke at Fed (Bloomberg)
Apparently Obama always liked Bernanke just fine, but he really started taking a shining to the guy on Good Friday, and it was his idea to wear matching outfits to yesterday’s press conference.
Goldman’s Trading Huddles Called Off Sides (NYP)
William Galvin: “We want to know everything that occurred in the trading huddles and how it was disseminated.”
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
whore
“Wake up and remember nothing about the night. I think I brought someone home though not really sure because he’s not there in the morning. I almost want to ask my doorman if I came home alone last night, but I make the executive decision not to.”
@2 burn
Holy shit, I know this girl.
Those Americans leaving London are losing their jobs. Nothing to do with taxes. Good luck finding a job over here.
the boa judge is a pussy, all talk, get a fucking backbone you pussbag
@6 how the fuck do you know what’s going to happnen ken lewis?
who gets that blackout drunk every night and doesn’t get laid once?
@wcburss tell us more
@8 i was wondering the same thing
@8 – Ken Lewis.
@7 shut the fuck up douchebag, the judge has a chance to take the 33M SEC fine and shove it up their asses and give them a real penalty, like listen to your shit…idiot
Ah, Crap. Ted Kennedy died. Now I have to feign distress over this news. I won’t be watching TV for the next 3 weeks. Not that I have any patience for American TV ….
Quote from a friend in Holland:
“I get the American version of CNN at my hotel so I’ve already had a near lethal dose of Ted Kennedy press coverage this morning …..”
At 24 you ain’t an ex-anything unless you’re an Olsen twin. What a drag.
@13 more like: “What a Skank.”
Bigger baller: Black or Scholes?
Bess was off a couple weeks ago, and now this article -
Bess was off a couple weeks ago, and now this article -
“we thank God for unemployment insurance because it pays us to live in our expensive luxury apartments with no income.”
Exactly what kind of “luxury apartment” in nyc can you get by on for $1600 / month of unemployment even if your other expenses are taken care of by being a whore?
@18 I think bess went to amherst, not ivy league.
@18 also, she lives in murray hill. fail.
@19, she also isn’t an ex banker. c’mon!
@16/17 not to damage her reputation, but I doubt Bess blacks out every time she has a few.
Its amazing how pathetic these woman have become in NYC. Slobbering, lonely, alcoholic, tramps.
Its amazing how pathetic these woman have become in NYC. Slobbering, lonely, alcoholic tramps.
@22 also, bess isn’t a massive tool, like this slore
@18 what kind of overzealous dipshit thinks she has a luxury apartment in murray hill…you have a nice apartment in an area with over half of the under 30 population of NYC
@23/@24 saying it twice really does drive home how pathetic some of these women really are. Third time’s a charm.
I hate this girl.
Money and power. Those who have money and power don’t fuck 24 year old drunks. They jack off into a towel.
~Jeff E.
I’m setting the over/under on that girls weight at 160–any takers?
I’m on a boat!
What a train wreck?! Hardly a whore, though. She claims she didn’t put out or doesn’t remember, but a girl knows, even if she doesn’t remember… unless he is hung like Bernie. This girl is so pathetic, I want to slap her mother.
I wouldn’t even hate fuck this bitch
@ Tax Chick – the reason you normally remember is because the mess is still on your face when you wake up
@35 you’re a fucking idiot. the reason a girl remembers is because you’re slightly if not very sore the next morning. the v is a muscle.
-banker chick
@35 clearly is hung like Bernie or has never been with a real woman… no, watching your older brother bang his girlfrend doesn’t count. Douche!
“Ex-banker” my ass. This chick has been answering phones and getting pounded in the ass for two years out of undergrad – dassit.
As for the “28 year old MD”…how many MDs do you know that have to shack up w/ their twin brother to pay the rent?
@38 read the god damn article. it turns out the “28 year old MD” was 17. because this cunt is just.that.dumb.
get real people, she remembers – she just didn’t want to seem like the tramp that she is…my guess is that she got deflowered 4x (at a minimum), beeeyatch please. luxury apt? c’mon, unless she lives in a studio on the ground floor, she isn’t in a “lux” building (in manhattan). and who comes over to JO in a towel? who are these people??? wtf?
The drunk banker chick story reminds me of the “Schlitz makes my pussy sore” joke. I would tell it here but I think that there is a large population of females reading these comments and it is way to early in the trading day for that particular joke. Also, if you believe the story of the drunk banker chick it wouldn’t be too hard for you to guess the joke’s tale anyway.
@38
Just one: Mark Klein MD
@cluzo, nah this chick would definitely say if she got laid, you can she’s trying so damn hard. also, saying that you think someone came over but you dont remember cause he left the middle of the night makes you sound trampier than just saying you got laid. it just sounds like no one wanted to bang this trainwreck.
Nuf said.
Someone post a QUANT PUZZLE
@41 seriously? 90 percent of the db audience is male. also, that joke is lame.
Man goes to a doctor. Man says, “Doc…It hurts when I do this with my arm. Man swings his arm. Doc says, “Well, don’t do that…”
~Guy Who Remembers Jokes from TV’s “Hee-Haw” Show
I have a feeling that 99% of this story is bullshit. It feels like it was written by a laid-off receptionist who has been reading too much Jay McInerney lately.
Also, on a side note, Dorrians sucks
@Cluzo – comes over, does lines of coke, then JO in a towel. Capital WTF!
@45….where do you get your statistics? I agree the joke is lame but depending upon the audience it can cause “fall down” laughing to occur.
@47 agreed that it’s bull shit but i could see this coming from some jappy bitch who was a first year analyst at leh or jpm before getting laid off.
What’s heavy going backward, but not forward?
@49 every single person i know who reads db is male. also, have you ever read the posts/comments here? with the exception of tax chick, this is a predominantly male audience.
Sounds to me like she gets her Hoover practice though.
@47 True dat
@29 Nice!
@ 51 – What?
We appreciate all the towel references.
Sincerely,
Turkish Towel Company
@52…..You must be an AIG statistics quant.
@47 – What do you have against Dorrians?
Erin Callan’s writing for New York Magazine now?
@55
The correct answer is Greg’s mom.
@38 Indeed, at 24 and laid off for 6 months already, she was obviously never a “banker”. Maybe her boss’s boss was a banker.
But as for the rent-paying power of 28 year old MDs, the average pay of a 24 year old bimbo-who-imagines-she’s-a-banker is enough to make a 28 year old MD drool with envy. You graduate college at 22, graduate med school (i.e. get your MD) at 26, and at 28 you’re half way through the indentured servitude euphemistically referred to as “residency”. Hours are about 100 a week and pay hovers around 40K (no bonus no matter how awesome you are, and salary is not open to negotiation) and if you quit before your servitude period is up, you can’t get another job in your field (which really sucks when you have, on average, $250K in student loan debt that you racked up getting qualified for that field).
I might actually have a chance with this girl! Maybe I should send her some of my poetry…
-Greg
I’m an Oklahoman and the people I know who read Dealbreaker are all Okies too. Therefore, 90% of the people who read Dealbreaker are Okies.
~Bank of Oklahoma- Risk Management Dept.
@58 – this article tells you all you need to know about Dorrian’s.
“The last thing I remember is squealing when Hanson’s “Mmmbop” came on because it was my absolute favorite song.”
I would rather stab myself in the face than watch a bunch of retarded pseudo-bankers take shots of SoCo and lime and squeal over Hanson songs.
@61 – I’m pretty sure “MD” means “Managing Director”…
@ 51…… a TON
Enough with the talk of that coffee chaser whore in the Daily Intel piece. Let’s talk about me, shall we? A strong running I had, throughout the years. Disabilities. Medicare. Medicaid. My MA license plate (SMYDMA). The unions I built and protected. My fear of water. Health care.
You fags can’t fathom what I gave you.
Suck on my cold, moist, white-haired testicles. Let me swing them before your eyes like a hypnotic watch.
I am America’s baller, fags.
-Tizzle Kizzle
@61
MD = Managing Director, not doctor
oh, 61. You have no idea the wrath that you have unleashed. You may as well have written:
“I think Series 7 is the most important thing you could do to secure a job in finance. Way better than a CFA or MBA. Irregardless of schooling”
Clearly, 57 FTW and FWIW, I agree 100% with Cluz. She knows, but that small deeply buried Judaic-Christian guilt stops her short of total confession.
@62 – where does it rank compared to Vogon poetry?
@67. Remember, had you had the good sense to drive a Volkswagen, you could have been president.
This girl gives bankers a bad name. And they didn’t need any help for that. And of course, the word banker is used loosely by the media. Time to change that.
BTW, is Call Ocho overrated? Just asking…
@66
Yes, even though I fucked it up. Should’ve been: What’s heavy going forward, but not backward?
“Greg’s mom” is also an acceptable answer.
-51
Hindsight is 20 20, 71. I could’ve been president had I worn a wet suit and snorkling mask all my life. I could’ve been president of Bolivia had I known about coke sharks, turkeys, and eqyptian cats.
Now, you’re getting very sleep. Pluck and floss, fag.
-Tizzle Kizzle
@61/all enough with the debate about the 28 year old MD, she later says she was taken for a ride, and that the kid was FUCKING 17!!!
I believe @61 must be one of those hedge fund CEOs that post here so often.
The only luxury building, with a doorman, that I can think of in MH is on 33rd and 3rd and it is a huge dump.
@61 on the plus side, you always know what to do when you cut your hand while chopping vegetables! TOURNIQUET! SUTURE! GREG!!!!!!!!!!
@65 & 68
A 28 year old Managing Director trying to impress a girl while claiming to be sharing an apartment with his two older brothers would be *really* insane. For a 28 year old Medical Doctor to be sharing an apartment with two older brothers is quite plausible. But then again, the whole blog is insane and fiction to boot so it doesn’t really matter.
If I was a 24 year old bimbo laid off from my gofer job at a bank, I’d rather be “dating” a 28 year old medical doctor, who at least has halfway decent future employment prospects (albeit as a government-owned drone), than a 28 year old Managing Director who still has to share an apartment with his big brothers — the latter dude would obviously be joining me on the unemployment rolls shortly (or is already there and just lying about still having a job). But since this girl is obviously light in the critical thinking department, and still imagining she was a “banker”, I expect you’re right that she meant Managing Director (odd that she left out “at a bulge bracket firm” though).
@77 – windsor court 3rd/31, fittingly now has a brother jimmy’s underneath. but she went to dorrians, me thinks she lives in hotel dormandie (normandie court)…so many inconsistencies, so little time
@69 Irregardless is not a fucking word. Stupid American. Do you work for the FASB by any chance?
@81 – you’re so dumb it’s painful.
not @69
2nd @ 82. I declare Friday on 81.
@81 FTL. Made my day.
@82/@83/@84 you and whose army, bitches? bring it on …
Agree with 52- That this predominantly male audience.
Female
@81/85 you know what, I can’t speak for 82 & 84 but for my part, never mind. Initially I found it dickless of you to seize on the word “irregardless” and bash Americans as stupid, and I would like to have seen the commentariat bitch-slap you around a little, but on reflection, it’s no big deal, really, and everyone seems to have moved on. Plus I must admit don’t have anything to say about you smelly foreigners that someone else hasn’t already said better.
-83