By now you’d think there were few embarrassments left for AIG to suffer. After close to $200 billion in bailout funds and multiple rounds of retention bonus battles, if AIG just so happened to be paying for a private gold course in Connecticut for its (remaining) senior executives, even they must have followed the lead of other golfing bailout ventures and sold the property.
The Morefar Back O’Beyond course, coincidentally opened in 1964 by the founder of the company that became AIG, continues to build on its legend. Given the bailout champions penchant for going big, the rumors that the sand traps were filled with expensive crushed granite and the course’s ponds doubled as landing strips for client floatplanes certainly sound about right. But with all of Congress on their case AIG, must have learned their lesson by now. So, the question remains- who owns this AIG-associated golf course?
Archive for August 2009
According to the investor letter, dated August 14, 2009, Canyon Value Realization Fund, L.P. returned +18.78% for the second quarter of 2009. This brings year-to-date returns through June 30, 2009, to +24.87%.
Also enclosed are plans for the future. The Fund’s “strategy,” basically. The short version is: suck less than ’08, Canyon’s worst year ever. The long version can be found in the letter.
Worst Year Ever For Canyon Hedge Funds [FINalternatives]
In a purely hypothetical scenario, how does a racist crypt keeper sound? Here’s the sitch. Basically no one watches FBN. That much should be obvious but here it is: for the month of June, from 5 to 9 PM, CNBC’s audience was 11 times the size of Fox’s, which hurts pretty bad, especially considering the GE-owned network, by its own admission, has no standards. Where FBN is most noticeably getting its ass kicked is the 6 to 9 AM time slot, i.e. the domain of Alexis Glick, host of “Money For Breakfast.” Now executives are apparently strongly considering throwing Glick out on her ass, and replacing it by Don Imus, who sort of knows what he’s talking about re: Wall Street, kind of. Doesn’t much matter. What’s being banked on is the NPH enthusiast’s ability to lure you away from shit like the Hot Carl Crew of Becky Quick, Joe Kernan and Mr. Quintilla, the competition at the time. Would Big D do the trick? What if they threw in Jeff Macke, a pair of scantily clad tits, and a buncha car people? How ’bout now?
Taking a page out of the major US sports leagues’ playbook, Alistair Darling is entertaining a proposal to install a salary cap for financial services firms. The plan, in addition to imposing Nordic tax levels of 90% on Andrew Hall type bonuses, would create a “maximum wage ration” which would effectively link the compensation of senior MDs to first year analysts. We can only hope the plan would include another US creation that would effectively communicate the typical level of disdain for such arrangements and reinforce the distinction between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’- the luxury tax.
Before indicting their asses! The Daily Beast reports that enough “hard evidence” has been compiled against the boys to convict them of possibly being in on the whole damn thing, though they (and their uncle Peter) won’t hear anything official ’til after the holiday weekend. Which is nice, especially for the people of Nantucket, who rely on the the Madoff largesse. In other Ponzi Nation news, this happened:
“Bernie had a tremendous libido, like so many men in power,” the source added. “He told me that Ruth just couldn’t satisfy it. I suppose no one woman could. He had the habit of cozying up to potential female investors. He’d use a low kind of sexy voice and he’d say something like, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be there for you. You’ll never have to worry.’”
Earlier: What Kind Of Package Is A Bernie Madoff Package
Madoff’s Other Girlfriends [TDB]
Developing story: doubtful they’ll shoot their load on Day 1 but things look promising so far.
Update: Easing into things slowly (pictures forthcoming). In very much related news, WHERE ARE CARUSO AND CABRERA?
Update II: Grainy but you get the idea:
Now it’s clear what the driving force is behind some of the recently proposed financial legislation. At first you might think knee-jerk, panic driven logic was responsible for the calls to ban all CDS and tax bonuses at 90%. But the real reason for DC’s recent streak of regulatory gems appears to be what lawmakers have been doing with the bills in their wallets. A recent study found 95% of banknotes in Washington showed traces of cocaine.
Dr Yuegang Zuo, who led the research, said: “To my surprise, we’re finding more and more cocaine in banknotes… I’m not sure why we’ve seen this apparent increase, but it could be related to the economic downturn, with stressed people turning to cocaine.”
Speaking of which, Tim Geithner has been a lot quieter recently.
We don’t know for sure if this quote came from one of B’s boys but it would fit in with character sketch we’ve gotten thus far of crying bitches who will slap you in the face, they really will, if you don’t get with it and realize they’ve been hurt by all this too, probably worse than you can ever imagine.
The weather service had forecast “a wintry mess” for the tristate New York metropolitan area for that Thursday [last December].
For the employees of Madoff it would be more like a horrific terrorist attack.
As one longtime employee sadly observes, “12/11 was our own 9/11.”
Book Excerpt: “Madoff With Money” [WSJ]
Earlier: Andy Madoff Cries Like A Fish
Madoff Son Now Knows What It’s Like To Be A Black Man In America
Would the Madoff victims in Massachusetts who have been too busy during the past 9 months to identify themselves please call the MA secretary of state’s office. After hearing countless stories of financial ruin for months on end, close to a dozen victims who had invested their money with King Ponz feeder fund Fairfield Greenwich were set to be repaid in full. But in a successful effort to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, the state rejected the settlement offer as they continue to look for all of those elusive individuals refusing to accept full restitution. So for the Madoff victims in the Commonwealth who think they can get away, take note- the state will find you and force you to take your money back. Then all you’ll have to deal with is Joe Nocera.
On Friday afternoon Melissa Francis put the word out there that Amanda Drury would be kicking off her three week stint stateside filling in for Larry Kudlow on The Call. Francis also promised, in the spirit of true sisterhood, that if a sufficient number of people tuned in, she’d let us know where Drury’s staying during the visit. This morning we regrettably inform you that the dream of showing up to AD’s hotel room and running into, among others, Charlie Gasparino, knocking on the door dressed as housekeeping, has been destroyed. At some point in the last 48 hours, someone over at the network decided that Amanda and the Druries would make their debut on Power Lunch, where they will remain through tomorrow, before popping over the The Call for the rest of the week while Francis is on vacation. Who exactly is trying to fuck with your universe? Unclear. While there are several theories being floated at this time, the most persistent one (in our heads) is that someone lobbied hard to have the competition right where she could see it. If anyone (MCC) has something to get off her chest, please do so at this time.
U.S. Pay Czar Says He Can ‘Claw Back’ Exec Comp (Reuters)
Gird your loins, Lloyd: “I have the discretion, conferred upon by Congress, to attempt to recover compensation that has already been paid to executives not only in these companies, but in any company that received federal assistance,” Feinberg said during his remarks. Asked if he could use that ability to target a firm like Goldman Sachs, Feinberg said: “Anything is possible under the law.”
Citigroup May Shift Phibro Trader Hall’s Pay to Stock From Cash (Bloomberg)
Odds of Hall Andrew Hall accepting the raw deal so Vikula and Co don’t have to be in a bad spot with the Comp Cop, etc? Not good!
Barclays £30 million offer sparks City pay row (Telegraph)
The chippies are not happy about BarCap’s attempt to woo JPMorgan commodity trader Todd Edgar and 4 of his JPM underlings with promises of “large bonuses paid in cash guarantees and deferred stock” along with Dick Fuld as an on-call butler.
UBS Tax Crackdown Widens To Hong Kong (WSJ)
In a statement Friday, U.S. Attorney Thomas P. O’Brien said the Justice Department and IRS were “aggressively pursuing those who shirk their federal tax obligations by hiding funds in secret bank accounts in Europe and Asia.”
France Seeking Ban on Guaranteed Bonuses for Bankers (Bloomberg)
Zee frogs will pay guaranteed bonuses over Christine Lagarde’s dead body.
Cuomo Seen Filing Suit Against Schwab (WSJ)
Chuck hasn’t yet received anything officially but he did have this to say of Andy (via spokeswoman): “The attorney general’s approach is inconsistent with the law, basic fairness, and common sense.”
Hot sex no match for cold cash (NYDN)
A bunch of women polled said they’d rather save $50 a week than have more sex. Two things to consider: 1) it was an AOL poll and 2) it’s possible they were given the choice of an extra fifty or specifically having to have sex with the gay model pictured.
There’s Going To Be Hell To Pay When Steve Liesman Sees This (CNBC)
