Okay, a couple of things here. 1) Not in disagreement with you Naj, but yesterday’s selection wasn’t a nomination for “best of.” It’s merely what was being laid on the table at the time. One in a series. If you haven’t been following along, we’re sort of live-blogging this thing. 2) The challenge has been accepted, but given that you’re working on the inside, perhaps you could do your part and grease the wheels?
Archive for August 2009
Supposedly Money Never Sleeps had a crew up at RBS last night doing “prep work” (as in walking through the space, not setting stuff up) for a few scenes that may be filmed on the bank’s trading floor of the new building on Washington Boulevard. Not sure if this is a cash thing (the Queen’s bitches could use somea that!) or if closeted Shia-lover Fred Goodwin struck a deal before peacing that no one could figure out how to get out of. For those of you incensed over not even being approached about using your facilities for the flick,* take heart! There may be an open casting call for extras at some point next month. Get an acting coach now, as the competition will be fierce, and riding in on a Zamboni with a Pope-mobile-esque enclosure.
*The Swiss love themselves some LaBeouf like the Germans love David Hasselhoff, so this is really rubbing it in their faces, with UBS just across the way.
Update: Sadly for the RBS’ers there will be no Shia up in Stamford. Sorry to get your hopes up, please direct complaints to the tipster who fucked up by telling us RBS when RBC was intended. Acronyms are hard.
Feinberg to Formally Approve AIG CEO Pay Next Week (Reuters)
Benmosche (still on vacation?) will likely get the green light for his $7 million a year salary. Meanwhile, the Compensation Cop has not yet been convinced that Andy Hall, pouting in his German castle, “really wants this.”
Hedgie Paulson Mad About Citi (NYP)
JP has allegedly acquired a two percent stake in Vikram’s funhouse.
US Court Rejects TurboTax Defense (Bloomberg)
Good enough for Tim Geithner apparently does not fly for a couple of bros in Ohio: “Petitioners were not permitted to bury their heads in the sand and ignore their obligation to ensure that their tax return accurately reflected their income,” the court said in an opinion issued yesterday. “In the end, reliance on tax return preparation software does not excuse petitioners’ failure to review their 2006 tax return.”
Treasury warns regulator off financial tax talk (Reuters)
The Treasury warned the chief financial regulator on Thursday to stay out of taxation policy after he said he would support higher taxes on the financial services industry.
A Treasury spokesman said taxation was “a matter for the Chancellor (finance minister)” after Adair Turner, chairman of the Financial Services Authority, said he would back “special taxes” on banks to rein in their activity.
Economic Crisis Strikes Irish Heartland (WSJ)
The Gaelic Athletic Association needs warm bodies.
Stanford’s Private-Equity Stakes to Be Sold (Bloomberg)
And Sir Stan is not happy about it, though really the only recourse he has is to bitch and moan like an impotent prick via his lawyer.
Blackstone Gem (NYP)
Steve Schwarzman’s unit grew 25 percent to $25 billion through the first half of the year, beating HSBC and Man Investments, whose assets dropped 52 and 46 percent, respectively. Crab Hands for everyone.
James Paulsen Sees A Sweet Spot At The 5 Minute Mark (CNBC)
I know he’s not a the CFO of a bank or anything but presumably he’s got access to a coupla private jets? Anyway, I think Phil’s request to meet him on the green this weekend just caught Maria off guard, which is why she got all flustered and claimed to have plans. She’ll be there. She’ll be there.
Richard Fuld was allegedly spotted climbing down the side of the Barclays building on 7th Avenue yesterday “using his dick as a substitute for rope” but it is Joe Gregory who’s gunning for the title Lehman Alum With The Biggest Balls (in addition to going for gold in the Brothers annual Lewis Black lookalike contest) on the eve of LEH going down for the dirt nap. Hombre has filed a claim against Lehman’s bankruptcy estate requesting $233 million in deferred compensation. Shoot it out of one of those tee-shirt guns, stick it in a bunch of garbage bags, or have Dick Fuld deliver it wearing a French Maid costume, just get the guy his money. He left that place in June, and shouldn’t be held accountable for the failures of others. Thank you and good night. (For those of you looking to top this, the bankruptcy court will be accepting claims from creditors until September 22. Let’s see your clippers.)
The tax evasion can squad can take credit for forcing one Swiss private bank to adopt the ‘screw you guys, I’m going home’ philosophy. After the UBS incident, Weglin & Co. decided it had seen enough and the risk of Swiss banks becoming the “extended arm of U.S. tax authority” was sufficient to issue a ‘Goodbye to America’ letter to investors. Between Team IRS’s renewed enthusiasm for its work and proposed changes to the estate tax, the private bank has decided to stop doing business in the US. Apparently it’s not just the UK that’s getting into the Pyrrhic victory game.
Susan Sarandon has signed on to play ShiBeouf’s mother in Money Never Sleeps, and the actor has also apparently been getting some on-set ass from co-star Carey Mulligan. Way more pressingly: the role of The Short Seller has yet to be filled, after Javier Bardem dropped the bomb on a hopeful hedge fund industry, dying for a bowl-cut, and dropped out. Josh Brolin is rumored to be in talks for the part, but I’m not feeling it. Any thespians out there wanna give the casting couch a shot? Bring a little authenticity to this thing? Get your best opportunity for a ShiBe sucker punch?
Some charities in South Africa may get a lesson in collateral damage. Some donation made by Dean Rees, accused of helping SA Ponz King, Barry Tannenbaum, bring in investors, may be coming back in a second life as a charitable donation to the victims of the scam. Before Rees moved to Switzerland (of all places), he was “earning” hundreds of million of rand in Ponzi commissions and shelling out pieces of it to charities to make him morally hedged. But now the trustee for Tannenbaum’s estate has indicated that no matter how much the Johannesburg School for Blind, Low Vision and Multiple Disability Children might need the cash, the investors who wound up with slightly less than their promised 3%/wk return need it even more.
“If we find, eventually, that whatever monies those charities received were from ill-gotten gains, then investors would require us to go and get the money back — even if it sounds morally repugnant,” Shirish Kalian, a trustee of Tannenbaum’s South African estate, said by phone from Johannesburg yesterday.
It’s an impressive feat to make a guy who lied about investing in AIDS drugs look ethically superior but with any success, these investors may succeed in doing just that.
Tannenbaum-Linked Charitable Donations May Have to Be Returned [Bloomberg]
The nobody gets left behind stimulus plan is starting to really stretch its wings. The government decided that 1700 prisoners in Massachusetts needed a helping hand with their ability to do business behind bars and sent each of them a $250 stimulus check. While inmates may be far more familiar with the intrinsic value of a pack of Marlboros than the US Dollar, one of their brethren would undoubtedly be glad to help them put their money to work. One can only hope there is some prisoner that goes by the name of Jackhammer or the like that is selling his flock on the virtues of the split-strike conversion strategy that The Godfather in Butner said would be perfect for their little windfall.
Stimulus Checks Mistakenly Sent to 1,700 Inmates, Federal Agency Says [Fox News]
In a “secret presentation,” the findings of which were summarily laughed off before segueing to more important matters like what to do with those evil hedge funds. Maybe if Jimbo had used words like “ass rippling bad,” “shit that will haunt your dreams,” and “straight up scariest environment imaginable” they would’ve taken him seriously? Next time Big Jim will consider painting a more harrowing picture. Sayeth Chanos:
“So there were some canaries in the coal mine by April 07 and Paul [Singer] pointed them out. I then segued into my presentation which told the assembled regulators that in fact if Mr Singer was correct and I believed he was, that the problem would not be hedge funds it would be the regulated banks and brokers who were leveraged 30-1, many of which held glowing, toxic radioactive pieces of securitisation which they could never sell. The German finance minister who was chairing the meeting thanked me politely and then thanked Paul and said ‘so what do you think about Hedge Funds?’”
So despite having received this stark warning, the only response from the politicians was ‘yeah, yeah but what about tightening up regulation on you guys?’ We were completely and officially ignored.”
Brown ‘ignored’ warnings re toxic loans and financial crisis
[LES via clusterstock]
