Ralph Cioffi, the manager in charge of the two ridiculously named Bear Stearns funds–High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Fund and High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund– that bit the bullet in 2007 is set to take the stand October 12, along with this partner in (possible) crime, Matthew Tannin. Ahead of the big day, Gabe Sherman at New York has checked in to see how things have been going for Big R since the perp walk. Not so good! In fact, one might say downright bad. First off, he had to sell his Southampton house this past July for “millions less” than his $11.875 million asking price. Then, he was forced to get rid of two Ferraris, leaving him with only one. But most upsetting? The hardest thing to take? The mother of all blows to the ego?
It’s been a lonely time for Cioffi ever since he was paraded in front of reporters last June. Only one of Bear’s top brass called after he was indicted. Alan Schwartz, Cayne’s successor, called once.
That’s right. At a time when the offer to smoke a J is probably just the thing that could lift Cioffi’s spirits, there’s been nary a peep from his stoner boss. Of course, there’s a logical explanation for the silence– Cayne is too busy running down his list of opponents, in alphabetical order, and telling reporters they’re all gay– but it would be nice if he could pencil this in. Cioffi could probably also be suckered into paying for the weed and chips, so everybody wins.
only one ferrari?!
peasant.
fuck that the last time i smoked with cioffi he kept wrapping his lips around the j like it was a god damn dick. fag.
-jc
Ill give him a pick me up. no HB necessary.
-tits mcc
Cioffi bought rookie Ferraris…
-430 Spider was $200K+ new, can be had for under $100K today…and will be worth under $75K when the F450 comes out.
-Superamerica was a rebadge 550 Maranello, first introduced in 1996
-3rd one was an enzo trade (?) and has to be the ugliest Ferrari ever.
If he had any style he would have a 275 GTB or Daytona Spyder that are now worth more than $1 million and could have been bought with same $ as this new crap back in 2002.
He sucked at trading cars too..
@4 someone at bear stearns didn’t have style?! holy fuck.
I’ll fuck him (and then write about it, like the crazy cunt I am).
And I thought my neck fat was bad.
-L. Summers
@5 the women were the worst…
You never saw so many dogs….even one female SMD looked like Mick Jagger…yellow hipp-huggers anyone?
@naked fuck my rolls.
-jc
@9 nothing like my piece of hot ass, eh?
-erin c
Ralph Cioffi enjoys this blog:
http://farmlandforecast.colvin-co.com
@10
My neck been there done that
Your neck sits there with dunce cap
My neck, V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.
-L. Summers
Jimmy Cayne is a hero
@4, you are smoking dope…and prolly cock. there are no f430 spiders for sub 100K, and enzos are smoking hot cars that easily sell for 750K plus. wake up douche!
“you are smoking dope…and prolly cock”
that’s how chapter 2 of my book starts, fyi.
-sheryl w
@ Le Mans
I don’t necessarily disagree with your assessment of his Ferrari-selection, however, the F430, as gaudy as it may be, has undeniable performance, and the Supramerica, while not particularly spectacular, isn’t that bad, come on.
Of course, this guy was hardly a connoisseur, that I’ll agree with you 100%. In his price range there are many finer examples, but whatever, to each his own.
This dude is pure trash
- Jefferies SVP
For some reason, that photo makes me want to punch him out.
CG
How many gallons of giz can he hold in that gullet that passes for a neck?
Just curious…
chaz@20 you dont wanna know.
-jc
@2 It’s called n*****lipping the j. just ask c prince.
c prince.
50x levered – way to go @$$holes! I’m suprised you let all those NYC crooks walk the streets. Sounds like its time to revive some New Jersey justice.
@4 – agreed on the 275. I dont care for the 355/430 pimp/rockstar/jock rides. I’d take the ’83 308i and ’86 328gtb…and throw in a couple 60′s muscle cars (66 Fairlane 500 and 67 Shelby).