Nov 11, 2009, 10:34am
Nov 10, 2009, 8:45am
What a gift! Also, she claims Bernie "didn't know how to deal with the intimacy," and feigns being bashful at the end, sort of implying that the interviewer is being inappropriate when he asks what it was like kissing the Ponz Master, as though she hasn't discussed,* among other things, girth.
*AND WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT.
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Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:46AM
Go back to whore island
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:48AM
She's even more scary in person.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:48AM
I'm Ron Burgundy?
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:49AM
What a trainwreck!
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:50AM
Pirate hooker!
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:51AM
@2 bernie is that you?
Posted by wcburrs87 , Aug 25, 2009 9:51AM
Her?
-George Bluth
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:52AM
that is one sexy neck.
-larry summers
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 25, 2009 9:53AM
I didn't realize she looked so much like a yorkie!
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:53AM
Why stop with a book? She can turn tricks at the local rub-and-tug too.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:56AM
btw, for those of you wondering, they edited out the part where i told them I climaxed.
-sw
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:56AM
I'm thinkin' handbridge....
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:59AM
Bernie loved me more! Wait for my new tell-all book...
-honey pot
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 9:59AM
who wants to fuck my neck rolls?
-sw
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:01AM
@13 sick
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:05AM
how does writing vomit-inducing copy about fucking a guy who's not dad make things up to us?
-weinstein jr.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:05AM
That photo makes her look like a slutty alter-ego of the Church Lady:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Church_Lady
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:09AM
Sheryl Weinstein? More like Share-all Weinstein, since she shares all the intimate details of her relationship with Bernie Madoff. Sheryl. SHARE ALL ("share" meaning "divulge," "all" meaning "everything"). Share-all Weinstein. Sheryl Weinstein.
-The Point Belaborer
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:10AM
I hope someone makes a latex mold of her vagina for retail.
Latexhumper
Posted by turd_ferguson , Aug 25, 2009 10:11AM
"Wow I have a huge scheme that I am running and it is overburdening to me - I also have a tiny penis."
TF is also a good kisser.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:11AM
@13 - do you think you could get off on the NF, or would you need the Hand Dams?
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:15AM
Best tags ever.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:21AM
I had Bernie lay on his back. "You're going to like this..." I said. "It's called "69"....". Bernie convulsed a little as I disrobed and assumed the position on top of him. As I bent over to do my part of the 69 experience I had the misfortune of "breaking wind". It sounded like the high pitched squeal of a tire rubbing a street curb. "Oy!!!" Bernie protested. I apologised profusely, made a comment about my being nervous and hoped the Willard Hotel's air circulation would help me out a bit. In a bit, Bernie and the air were calm and I said, "Now...how about a little 69?" I bent over and damned if I didn't "toot" again! Bernie convulsed and started that nervous tic again. I said, "Oh darling, forgive me please..let me keep trying to delight you with "69"....
Bernie pushed me off brusqly and said in a menacing tone, "Hey...if there are 67 more of those to go, I quit!!"
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:24AM
What is she funny or something?
-GOB
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:24AM
there is nothing more declasse than being visually linked to the "secret life of jailed swindler" tagline below her endowment.
Sad. Epic. Fail.
BlackPoint
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:25AM
Scorpion woman. I'm going to punch her in the ovaries. Straight shot to the baby maker.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:31AM
The late afternoon sun flooded he room with soft light that hid our blemished skin: on me, my Tri-Delt ankle tattoo and on him his nipple tattoos, one above each nipple, "hot" over one and "cold" over the other. As he gazed up at me from between my legs he mumbled, "You have the prettiest, biggest twat....the prettiest, biggest twat.." Oh, Bernie, I cooed, you didn't have to say it twice. His muffled reply to me was, "I didn't."
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:36AM
she looks like bernie in a wig
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:39AM
"Bernie would nibble at my engorged clit like a famished field mouse. On one ocassion he joked, 'You're bigger than I am.'"
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:45AM
fucking fat jew whore bitch. money hungry slut
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:48AM
Chapter 10:
Bernie was often quite vocal in our times together. Once, as I watched, he became red in the face and would breath in a labored fashion. Veins bulged out on his face and neck from time to time under such conditions. His forearms and hand muscles would bunch up and he would begin to emit a low moan that would become louder and louder as his exerted himself to his physical limits! Then, gasping, he would say, "Why the fuck do they put these fucking hotel honey jar lids on so fucking tight???"
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:49AM
what a piece of human waste. hope she trips and lands that worn out vagina on cactus
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 10:58AM
How has Hotel bill guy not posted on this?!
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:10AM
@31 - Bravo. Nice chapter.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:14AM
23 - thank you for that one.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:16AM
Is this why you wanted to fight this thing, so you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?
-Ruth
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:19AM
@18 you are on FIRE
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:29AM
Amazing Tags. Nice job, Bess.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:34AM
I'd hit it - with a baseball bat.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 11:50AM
Wait till ya got a chance too to smooch on the little sweet lolly of Bernie, it's heaven, I could tell ya as much?
-Lenny
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 12:04PM
Nothing more to see here folks, please move on.
I am sure her family is very proud.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 12:05PM
You know what mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.
-sheryl weinstein's son
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 12:09PM
Bess - Seriously, repackage all of the fake chapters into your own tell-all book. It'll outsell hers.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 12:25PM
all i can say about that is Mayo
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 12:26PM
@30 -
CG -- come on, we know it's you. Your style is unique.
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Aug 25, 2009 12:34PM
Bernie had to bring two bags to diddle her. He put the second one over her ugly head in case the first one fell off.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 1:08PM
Every time I look at her picture I have to stifle an attack of vomiting.
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 1:15PM
@27 FTW with @23 a close second followed by @31.
Thanks for the laughs.
Posted by Porker Stankleberry , Aug 25, 2009 1:44PM
The irksome nature of giving this waste of oxygen any more of her 15 minutes is MORE than made up for by the scintillating commentary on the matter over the past few days.
Oh, and @27 FTW
Posted by DOS , Aug 25, 2009 3:00PM
This is my first post so be nice! Bess, you and Mary-Louise Parker are my girl crushes. Gentlemen, (so to speak), you brighten all my days. @27 made me cry. Genius.
DOS
Posted by guest , Aug 25, 2009 8:28PM
Is this her way of daring the Trustee to ask the court for permission to search her walk-in vault sized vagina to look for additional ponzi proceeds? The only thing we can be sure of is that she'll climax if it happens.
And thank you 23, 27 and 31 for making me laugh out loud at work.
- Fixed Income
Posted by Terri , Aug 26, 2009 9:26AM
She wrote it to make things up to her family???? I'm sure her husband would LOVE to know of the the details about his wife having sex with another man!
Posted by Terri , Aug 26, 2009 9:26AM
She wrote it to make things up to her family???? I'm sure her husband would LOVE to know of the the details about his wife having sex with another man!
Posted by Terri , Aug 26, 2009 9:26AM
She wrote it to make things up to her family???? I'm sure her husband would LOVE to know of the the details about his wife having sex with another man!