• 26 Aug 2009 at 12:58 PM

Shia LaBeouf Gets Mom, Ass

Picture 14.pngSusan Sarandon has signed on to play ShiBeouf’s mother in Money Never Sleeps, and the actor has also apparently been getting some on-set ass from co-star Carey Mulligan. Way more pressingly: the role of The Short Seller has yet to be filled, after Javier Bardem dropped the bomb on a hopeful hedge fund industry, dying for a bowl-cut, and dropped out. Josh Brolin is rumored to be in talks for the part, but I’m not feeling it. Any thespians out there wanna give the casting couch a shot? Bring a little authenticity to this thing? Get your best opportunity for a ShiBe sucker punch?

Comments (72)

  1. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    mcc looks like she got hit in the face with a sack of quarters last night

  2. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    Who do I have to cuff to try out for the role of Meredith Whitney?
    ~Dog the Bounty Hunter

  3. Posted by NakedShort | August 26, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    @1 I was thinking the exact same thing….MAJOR pineapple face going on there

  4. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    is malkovich still in the running for the evil, naked shorter? he’s got to have that russian accent from rounders, though.

  5. Posted by David Einhorn | August 26, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    I”m having my headshots done as we speak!!

  6. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    is that a picture od shia posing as GAnalYst?

  7. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    @4 rumor is that the short seller is no longer the evil character.

  8. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Shooter Mcgavin could do it

  9. Posted by Larry Robbins | August 26, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    fuck the part, i just wanna get on that casting couch and S some D!

  10. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    how about Giancarlo Esposito? not really a heavy hitter, but he played a decent hardass on “The $treet.”

  11. Posted by wcburrs87 | August 26, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    Who is going to play the former Barclays PBM?

  12. Posted by highlyconfident | August 26, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    James Gandolfini’s breathing as the musical score for the introduction of the nefarious short seller.

  13. Posted by biff | August 26, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    beth levin you vicious animal whore you know i’m up for that part.

  14. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    @1 True, but that is not where her talent lay. For I would give my low hanging left nut to see Cabruso & Cabrera wrapped around my weinerschnitzel.

  15. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    @wcburrs shanne doherty

  16. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    padma lakshmi on cnbc soon!

  17. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    Beth, I mean Bess: Is referring to a female thespian as an “actor,” rather than an “actress” intentional? Some kind of anti-sexist thing?

  18. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    @17 it’s pretty common actually.

  19. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:15 PM

    @11 sue hererra

  20. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    @18-
    No shit??! What about the word “waitress?” Is that out too?
    - Former NYC denizen, turned hayseed

  21. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    my dear lord, I wish this piece of shit would hit theatres so the updates will finally end.

  22. Posted by NakedShort | August 26, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    I think it would be awesome if they cast Julianne Moore as an older fucked up version of little orphan Annie as the evil short seller.
    Maybe as she matured she was tired of competing with money for Daddy Warbuck’s affection and figured the only way that he would approve and love her is if she was wildly successful in the business world.
    Therefore, after a stint at HBS she dropped out to run a hedge fund and is now the toast of Wall St. and the apple in Daddy Warbuck’s eye. The methods she uses to gain such outsized returns could be called morally objectionable at best.

  23. Posted by Tax Chick | August 26, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    @17 – Use of the word “actor” for either gender came back into fashion in the late ’70s, early ’80s. Nice of you to join us!

  24. Posted by wcburrs87 | August 26, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    @11, I counter your Sue Herrera with….Shia Labeouf. He has the range to play both sexes, a la Eddie Murphy in Big Momma’s house.

  25. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    @21 just for that you’re going to get five more today.
    -Bess

  26. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    John Malkovich has my vote. Intelligent, creepy and a distinct lack of morals about covers it.

  27. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    @wcburss- thatd make this movie totally worth seeing.

  28. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    If Tom Cruise could reprise his role from Tropic Thunder, he would have my vote.

  29. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    @23 taxchick:
    I don’t get it, when you say it came into fashion in the 70s. To me, “fashion” implies a type of cyclicality. As in, “fashions come and go.”
    So it strikes me as odd that this word would somehow be “fashionable,” and remain so, for over 30 years.
    - Former anal analyst, now hayseed

  30. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    @21 again
    Here is #1 of your 5 updates
    Hollywood producers who transformed a little-known Thai film festival into an event capable of attracting Michael Douglas, Jeremy Irons and Oliver Stone, face prosecution in the US for allegedly bribing Thai officials.
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/aug/17/bangkok-film-festival-organisers-bribery

  31. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    Bess,
    Both links are to the same article and I couldn’t find anything about Shia and Carey Mulligan. Please fix, so I can get mine.

  32. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    Elias Koteas

  33. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    Greg is the Pauly Shore of Finance.

  34. Posted by big steve | August 26, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    I’ love to have that picture blown up for my office. That piece of shit I have now is starting to bore me.

  35. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    erin burnett can play both sexes. is she boning up on acting classes this week?

  36. Posted by gatzzb | August 26, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    Ari Gold as the short-seller. Done.

  37. Posted by Bess Levin | August 26, 2009 at 1:33 PM
  38. Posted by Tax Chick | August 26, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    @29 – The term Actor originally was applied to both sexes (15C), then somewhere along the way (1700s) the term “actress” came into usage. Then by the early to mid-20th century the term actress took on a questionable connotation (think prostitute). It was at this point that people (in particular women) began to use the term actor for both genders. So while there has been a cyclical nature to the use of the term, it is probably a cycle larger than you are used to dealing with.

  39. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    beth, who are these no-name actors anyway? these casting agents are clueless. and susan sarandan, with that stanky bassmouth liberal snatchtrap of hers? puh-leeze. gimme that busty red-headed broad from “Madmen”.

  40. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    @38:
    I stand enlightened — chagrined and embarrased by my public display of ignorance. To demonstrate my sincere remorse, I will hack off my right forefinger and mail it to you promptly.
    - Pfluger the Hayseed

  41. Posted by Greg Michaels | August 26, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    @33, If you’re edged ’cause I’m weazin all your grindage, just chill. ‘Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin’ at my pad, I’d go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.

  42. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    @ 39 — agree. the redhead from Madmen is a fuckin’ smokeshow. she could nurse the entire set.

  43. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    Do think that Shia Labeouf’s character will be more realistic if he has an MBA or a CFA?

  44. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    beth, speaking of busty redheads, you got any klaman kleave shots for the group? i think she’s got the edge over mandy drooly.

  45. Posted by Tax Chick | August 26, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    @40/ Pfluger the Hayseed – if you do that, how will you go huntin’? While I may a City girl, I do know you need your trigger finger to fire your Beretta Xtrema 2.

  46. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    Vince the Slapchop / Shamwow guy for the villain.

  47. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:04 PM

    BANANAHAMMOCKCLOPS!

  48. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    @ 40 taxchick:
    Good point, though I shun the Beretta brand. I will keep my forefinger, and instead dismember my pinky, which I no longer need, as I no longer attend mid-town cocktail parties with pinky extended, drink in left hand so as to keep right (shaking hand) dry and warm, while chatting bullshit with boring, BSD bankers and their busty associates, then go out to get more drunk at the Monkey Bar…
    Not at all familiar with that particular model of Beretta. Its a very personal thing, a man and his favored firearms.
    -Pfluger

  49. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    Bess,
    we should have a poll about who the shorter should be…

  50. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:37 PM

    That is, hands down, the gayest picture of all time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  51. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:38 PM

    I respectfully withdraw my request for a Mulligan.

  52. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:40 PM

    “Actor” for a woman?
    What next, I can’t use “aviatrix” for a female pilot?

  53. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    Best title ever.

  54. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    @41/greg
    Your impressions is nigh on flawless.
    Ugh so many bad memories from the 90s….

  55. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    @52-
    women are allowed to fly airplanes now?

  56. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Looks a lot like Ron Insana.

  57. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    What is a four letter word for a class of woman that ends in “(blank) u-n-t…..”?
    ~Bernie M (Doing a Crossword Puzzle)

  58. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    @55 -
    Sometimes, in hayseed country, the pilots let the stewardesses sit next to the pilot, but never let them actually fly the plane. The pilots let them THINK they are flying the plane, and then the grateful stewardesses will give the pilot a BJ.
    - Hayseed Pfluger

  59. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    @50 but I’d like to see Mrs. Drury in that pose.

  60. Posted by dorothy | August 26, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    you guys are hilarious! i especially liked the link to the article about the thai film festival. i can NOT believe that people might go to jail for life for this silliness. and meanwhile, all your suggestions are amusing me NO END> thanks for an awesome wednesday read you guys!

  61. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 3:11 PM

    @53 it would be be funnier without the comma

  62. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    @8 – yeah, and grizzley adams had a beard.

  63. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    @8/@62 – Grizzly Adams did have a beard.

  64. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    Carey Mulligan is a reminder of why no one ever says Irish chicks are hot.

  65. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    Go back to Kansas Dorothy.

  66. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    I’m not going to be upstaged by some freak [shudder] sideshow clown.

  67. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 4:53 PM

    @66 -
    Which one is chaz??

  68. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 6:17 PM

    Malcolm McDowell would be great as the short seller. Much more evil looking than John Paulson. And, it would be even better if he turns out not to be the bad guy.

  69. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 9:02 PM
  70. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 9:04 PM

    Jason Alexander as Stevie…

  71. Posted by guest | August 26, 2009 at 11:56 PM

    Look up Sarandon’s daughter, Eva Amurri. Holy cans, Batman!

  72. Posted by guest | August 27, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    They should get rid of Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories then. Can’t have it both ways – either they’re the same or they’re not. Biatches.

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