Maybe! From someone supposedly in the know:
Pretty sure this slore worked at Barclays. “Ex-banker” is an extremely generous way to describe herself. “Pitchbook monkey bitch” would be more like it. She is worse in person than she comes off in the article.
First off, PMB? Cold. Second, while Barclays is apparently the early contender, why don’t Citi or UBS or the big ballers at Jefferies get a shot? And most importantly, which firm will step up to the plate and claim ownership next? Girlfriend is living off the taxpayer dime (“we thank God for unemployment insurance because it pays us to live in our expensive luxury apartments with no income”) and could use a new gig. Who’s got an opening?
“She is worse in person than she comes off in the article.”
NOT POSSIBLE
So Bess knows this wonderful slore…
First person to link to a pic wins.
“depressive and crazed vagina” . . . something wrong there, from a grammatical / syntactical point of view. I like the “force field” though – is it sort of like a Death Star tractor beam-type of thing?
That said, I’ll bet she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
@2 Spare me your ellipses. This came to the tips line.
Was she at least hot?
Was she at least hot?
oka people, lets get a name and picture
According to the “hot waitress, hot bartender rule of market bottoms” I am anxiously awaiting news she has found a job at Hooters.
that’s a ridiculous *headline* there – not that I work for Barclay’s but I know who this late night pitchbook s**t is … she worked for the swiss tax raiders and trust me you have to meet her to realize that although the places she mentions are fancy – but she herself & the men in her life all belong to the gaspo boy’s league! What a terrible overstatement and exaggeration of facts.
Think I’m in love. She like to play paintball?
-The Jabroni Pony
#1 – Agreed!
And Bess, that has to be your best tag EVER!
@10…you say that like it’s a bad thing!
@Bess: awesome tag but “spare me your ellipses” is even better.
@4: she probably can, but she’d also puke all over you halfway thru the BJ. Also, the syntax of “depressive and crazed vagina” is perfect. One meaning of “depressive” is “depressing; gloomy” and that vag is definitely a depressing sight; it also means “tending to depress or lower” and anything entering that vagina is lowering itself to the level of the beasts of the field.
Bess knows her English language; granted it’s not the same language the Queen speaks, but it IS English.
highly entertaining but unrealistic.
you people shouldn’t be so mean about this girl – face it – this is what we fuck on a otherwise lost tuesday night. at least 20 out of the 30 girls you slept with are like this girl – they do a public service and basically for free, so love them for it – just beware of std’s..
16,
We talkin’ CRABSCLOP here, or what?
I imagine she looks like the woman that William Kennedy Smith was on trial for raping. Average looking slut.
@Bess: awesome tag but “spare me your ellipses” is even better.
@4: she probably can, but she’d also puke all over you halfway thru the BJ. Also, the syntax of “depressive and crazed vagina” is perfect. One meaning of “depressive” is “depressing; gloomy” and that vag is definitely a depressing sight; it also means “tending to depress or lower” and anything entering that vagina is lowering itself to the level of the beasts of the field.
Bess knows her English language; granted it’s not the same language the Queen speaks, but it IS English.
@13 I will get a pic here within the next 60 to prove my point!
DAY SEVEN
2 p.m.: Go to Rue du Prick with friends for their all-you-can-drink-uzo brunch special. We triple-fist uzo from the uzo bar and try to play “Spank-The-Monkey at the restaurant.
4 p.m.: Stumble to the Inner Tube Basin for jello shots and a booger tasting on a boat.
5 p.m.: On the guy’s inner tube, we meet another guy who has connections to a more massive inner tube. The biggest one I’ve ever seen up close. He invites us over for Schlitz and a finger-bang party. On the inner tube, we are poured Pearl Light by a man who I assume owns it, so shameless flirtation ensues for further invites. Put him in my phone as “pubesoutofspeedo” because I keep forgetting his name as his mouse pokes its head out from time to time.
7 a.m.: Definitely wake up in one of the two bedrooms on the motorhome parked at at the Inner Tube Basin. Proceed to pleasure the owner with a live chicken and a Makita drill with dildo attachment. He explains after that he is just on the crew and calls himself a glorified bus driver. Ugh. When did I become like this?
8 a.m.: Do the walk of shame home from the Inner Tube Basin and kind of over it all. Remember that I actually used to be smart and care about other things in my life. Make a mental note to read the newspaper today and perhaps even try to find a job at Hooters.
Chris Theoharris sees nothing wrong with this delightful woman.
@22 nice
Uh-oh. I’m getting the sense that this thread could take on a life of its own, rivaling what Chrissy TeddyHarry did to the FM thread.
Don’t know about the Barclays side but any self-respecting Lehman girl would’ve gone through with the threesome. Just sayin’.
@16 while you are correct, it is still my privilege as a gainfully employed, narcissistic prick, to look down on her and judge. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return some video tapes.
*ALERT* *ALERT* – The Druries are running freer than normal today! God Bkess the Druries!
@25 agreed.
@20 Do it and unleash the hounds.
@22 Dude, FTW!
I’ll take her “opening” for a spin….
@risky, why not just fuck whatever random slut you can pick up on the street? what makes this slore special?
Considering how much UBS Sucks and how much she sucks there is a very real possibility she graced the halls of suck with her depressive vag.
Day 13
Noon: Wake up with whipped cream all over me and a Merril Lynch pitchbook across my nether region. Someone has used a magic-marker to draw a “mask” over my eyes like Robin’s in Batman and Robin. TV is on and Imus is mumbling about nappy something or other. He wears a cowboy hat. Those hats make me horny but I am too hung over to think about it.
1:30pm: Can’t watch CNBC and about to turn it off. Suddenly see Gasparino and I get tingly all over. Look down and realize I am standing in wet whipped cream slop and “back massager’s” electric cord. Tingling reason now identified.
3:00pm: See clip of Drury cleave and look down to compare to mine. Shocked to find hickies forming a Citi logo across the tops of “the girls”!
I know a couple of Merrill girls who could give this girl a run for her men….
Wow, she sounds like my kinda girl. I hope to meet her one day.
Patrick Bateman
@18 The fresh prince raped someone?
Day 14:
2:00pm – Arrived at apartment after an all nighter with a yodeler and Keilbasa salesman. I’m sore all over. Doorman’s cat starts licking my feet. Doorman asks if he can have the building’s “ceiling stilts” back for the guys working on a ceiling fan in 12c. I tell him I don’t remember getting any such devices. He shows me security cam images of me and a “tall man” from the Shriner’s Circus entering the building from 2 nights ago. Note to self: Call Maquarie and thank them for Shriner Circus tickets.
4:00pm – At Club NoClasse my friends and I are bored. We start making fart noises with our hands in our armpits. Some quant guys come over like ducks to a duck call. One guy shows me how a one-armed man counts his change. What a finger! Has an “H” tattooed on it. Clean nails, he’ll do. Wearing Rockport loafers, though. I say to him, “Are those Rockport loafers…?” He looks around and says, “No..I think those guys are with J. Aron…”
Her daily updates will get more interesting as her money runs out… maybe develop a drug habit along the way.
I am all over those Druries!!!! And I’m not wearing pants…
-LK
@39 – she won’t develop a drug habit. She can handle it. She’s even going to try crack – once.
too leveraged sellout, don’t believe it
too leveraged sellout, don’t buy it
One hour, no link, no pic. Shame on top 20.
Day 15:
Woke up with splitting headache. On the floor, left side of water bed is some tall, dark and handsome naked guy asleep on his stomach wearing a snorkel, a mask and swim fins. Against the wall at the foot of the bed is one of those personal jet packs like in the James Bond movies. Large fracture in the circus mirror over my bed. Why am I wearing track shoes with cleats? Ravi Shankar music is playing peacefully in the apartment. The smell of curry is so strong it overpowers me and I suddenly need a moment in th bathroom. I notice Pradish asleep in the tub!! He is naked except for his tube socks. My cat is licking a turkey neck resting in his crotch!! Naljip comes in and askes me if I am “OK”. He is wearing a “Superman” cape and nothing else. How did I come to this? I’ll never go to another Bollywood party with the IT guys again!
This PMB has plenty of openings and if she was using them to advantage we’d all be thankful.
Dar-Dar-Dar-Drury!!!
My buddy tagged her a few months ago. Said it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
@48 mmmm bull shit.
#45 sounds like “Hotel Bill Guy”
Well done.
“When I get home, I look him up on Facebook and see that he graduated HIGH SCHOOL in 2009. He is 17 YEARS OLD and it was his parents’ penthouse in the city. ”
She admitted that…It’s a shame this didn’t end up on YouTube.
@evilbuzzard- yet.
@21 booger tasting? GENIUS
- Jefferies Quant
“Is she hot”
Geez, an Ohioan is with us…
Chances are she is chunky, ann-taylor clone who gives bj’s in lieu of her wide, pasty, clamy girth
Standard irish bloat wench you d find at Johhny Fish & Grill, Heartland, Mepa….or TGIF, Bennigans for that matter
If this was a chic in media, fashion, advertising, then above question would make sense…..fact is we are reading fat-sex life story
ellipsis
5 a.m.: He starts telling us kinky stories about his ex, but he says he knew she wasn’t a girl he could marry and that I was. He looks me in the eye and asks if he can masturbate and if I minded. Seriously? I acquiesce because I am too tired to argue but make him spread out towels so I don’t have to wash my sheets again.
5 a.m.: He starts telling us kinky stories about his ex, but he says he knew she wasn’t a girl he could marry and that I was. He looks me in the eye and asks if he can masturbate and if I minded. Seriously? I acquiesce because I am too tired to argue but make him spread out towels so I don’t have to wash my sheets again.
Come on!!! Would someone please post a photo already.
Please Post a PHOTO!!!!
Please Post a PHOTO!!!!
Please Post a PHOTO!!!!
@60 get me a name and i’ll get you a photo (and a toe).
Bess – I have a forefinger coming that we can add to the ante.
seriously, someone needs to post a pic or link to. is her diarised clusterfk of a life for real?
Pic has been found! I’d hit it. http://tinyurl.com/nzdljd
@65 dick
@14 “but she’d also puke all over you halfway thru the BJ”…
Is it bad that I find this hot?
67 – you need help. just sayin’
67 = bob pisani
figures – murray hill – i used to live there and this is not far off.. gosh, her parents must be so proud
Coutesy of Webster’s:
Slore’s Law (n.) \ˈslȯrs ‘lȯ\ empirical observation that the shallowness of entitled, no-talent banking analysts intending to live out their Sex and the City fantasies roughly doubles every 2 years.
Sentence Usage:
I thought that the recession would have put Slore’s Law to the test; clearly, the subject of this article has proven me wrong.
@65 – The Adam’s Apple says Adam, not Eve
@20 – empty boasts sink boats.
I’m calling BS on the whole tale. Totally fabricated. The murray hill doorman building demographic (generally Jewish or more ‘ethnic’) generally will never go to Dorrians. Which is extremely WASPY (boat shoes, reds, belts with whales on them, ect). The Murray hill female banking demographic also is more of a Emory/Cornell/Penn/Michigan croud and given demographics of those climes vs. others, think the penetration of boarding school women (who end up in NYC doing IB) is statistically impossible. Whole story is BS, strings together too many demographic nonsequiters….
We haven’t heard from Muffie in quite some time…
@75 Muffie? Say it isn’t so ….
@54 – féin a mharú.
You wanna cry about the lack of quality Irish babes? Blame your fecking gg-grandfathers.
The English didn’t gas the Irish quickly, they starved them over 20 years.
From Wiki (and more reputable sites): “Records show Irish lands exported food even during the worst years of the Famine.
Cecil Woodham-Smith, an authority on the Irish Famine, wrote in The Great Hunger; Ireland 1845–1849 that no issue has provoked so much anger and embittered relations between England and Ireland as “the indisputable fact that huge quantities of food were exported from Ireland to England throughout the period when the people of Ireland were dying of starvation.” Ireland remained a net exporter of food throughout most of the five-year famine.
Christine Kinealy, a University of Liverpool fellow and author of two texts on the famine, Irish Famine: This Great Calamity and A Death-Dealing Famine, writes that Irish exports of calves, livestock (except pigs), bacon and ham actually increased during the famine. The food was shipped under guard from the most famine-stricken parts of Ireland. However, the poor had no money to buy food and the government then did not ban exports.”
Ireland lost 20-25% of its population. 1M+ to starvation deaths, and 1M+ to emigration, indentured servitude, and coal mining. So, excuse me, but fuck you.
Ireland had its own diaspora and nobody in the world gave a shit then or now.
If you’re looking for hot Irish chicks you might want to look into the black Irish from the southern counties of Ireland whose families left before the great famine. We’re not pasty, we’re pretty brown and hot tempered so don’t let us know that you’re an English fuck unless you don’t plan on ever falling asleep around us.
@77 = Morrissey
@77 you’re a scary fuck. Make sure that bomb doesn’t blow your legs off.
Oh, and thanks for the fucking history lesson. Enjoy your Libyan vacation.
- not 54
Oh, hat tip to the original féin a mharú poster.
You conveyed the sentiment more concisely than I ever could.
So sorry for diluting your brand.
Soon to be as dependant upon Valtrex as she is alcohol, spanx, and guys who go hoggin’ in order to have a good time.
@78 & 79.
Not really, I just get a bit heated when some purported MD slams the Irish unjustly. In my family the women range from pretty attractive to downright hot. My mom was a 10, I’m a nine (my dad was an 8), my aunts on my mother’s side were 10′s in their day, and they’re still slim and big chested in their late 50′s. Beautiful skin withought botox or plastic surgery.
Even if you’re being snarky, if you read it, you might have learned something new. Might. have.
I’ll admit to an ethnic rage that simmers under the skin in re: the English. But not enough to send funds to the IRA or be subversive.
I just wish the world would admit that it happened.
Whilst I might not agree with Morrissey, I wasn’t born and raised in the environment he grew up in. I’d probably have a less detached view (although apparently a view inflamatory enough to make the two of you uncomfortable.
Yeah, telling an englishman never to close his eyes was a bit over the top, I didn’t mean it. I’ve probably accidentally slept with one or two of them in my time, and they’re still breathing.
@82′s a 9 cuz a 10 got boned by an 8.
-shake shake, sensible dinner
I’m with you 77 and besides this is the year we kick USC’s ass.
the Golden Domer
@82 – pictures please, or you continue to trade at 6 levels.
6 bid / 9 offer.
Picture
agree with the guy who mentions the inconsistencies in the story. Boarding school girls dont live in murray hill doorman buildings and murray hill girls dont hang out at dorrians. something aint right here…
#82, you sound like a prejudiced dick of a plastic paddy. on behalf of all englishmen, please feel free to keep your stank hole over that side of the pond. much love from england x
failure to launch. —\
@77
Who let this IRA motherfucker in my bar?
I’d give her a shot at the title — but she has finish the BJ to completion first, then I’ll see if I want to exercise my “I’ve got a 6am call with Geneva” option early.
Hanson’s “Mmmbop” came on because it was my absolute favorite song.
——
If anything would persuade me to keep away from this whack-job, it’s the claim that Mmmbop is her favorite song. Everything else here is just a liefstyle choice. That’s a matter of principle.
@4 – Knock off the sexy talk, would ya?
Randy Lahey
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