You guys, this is Greenwich Plaza, home of, among others, AQR. We don't want to jump to any conclusions about what happened, and fingers crossed this is just a drill, but please, someone, if this is serious, make sure our boy gets out okay.
SOMEBODY SAVE BIFF BASNESS!
Posted by Bess Levin, Aug 28, 2009, 1:43pm
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Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:51PM
Fucking A.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:53PM
@1 yes?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:54PM
While Greenwich Fire Dept. isn't all that busy normally, no way do they send that kind of manpower just for a fire drill.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:54PM
Man, I wonder whether someone tried to burn down the lawyers office next door to AQR again. I also don't miss the regular anthrax scares at RBS in #1
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:55PM
It is almost 2pm on Friday, August 28th in Greenwich, Connecticut... that building must be 80% empty. No way is CA in the office.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:55PM
Beth Levin you vicious animal liar, you you know god damn well the source of the scare was the fire in my loins!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:55PM
theres some shitty cars in that parking lot...
Posted by biff , Aug 28, 2009 1:55PM
@5 say that to my face you motherfucking cock sucking piece of shit scum sucking whore!!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:56PM
Maybe there is a kitten trapped on an upper branch of that tree?
Drury: "Nixt up -- Firemeen troying tew save a kit in a tree or is a hidge fund in tribble? Stye tewned....."
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:56PM
@7 always
Posted by former aqr employee , Aug 28, 2009 1:57PM
this is called karma, cliff.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 1:58PM
So Funny Bess. What would we do without you making us laugh every day. It's Tontine's Jeff Gendell in that building also. Maybe his investors started it to smoke him out and get him to admit he quit his fund becuase he didn't have to balls to make his highwater mark back.
Posted by homobanker , Aug 28, 2009 2:02PM
Hey team who wants to join me for drinks tonight at Dorrians? If there isnt enough hot banking meat there how about Martignellis?
Toodles!
Posted by cliff , Aug 28, 2009 2:05PM
@12 shut up you piece of shit we're talking about me and the fact that my body is about to be entirely covered in scar tissue!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:06PM
Biff occasionally sits to the right of the main door smoking a cigar while whispering sweet nothings into Liew's ear. Maybe the cigar lit last years leaves or, as @6 put it, the fire in his loins for Bess set the place on fire.
Then again it's probably yet another toaster fire.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:06PM
@14 fuckin' A, i am so turned on right now.
-cg
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:07PM
"hot banking meat".....uh-huh.....yep...sure...
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:07PM
@13 are you suggesting they staged a fire to get out of happy hour with you? I would have thought that hanging out with you would have been right up Biff's alley.
Posted by Cliff Asness , Aug 28, 2009 2:09PM
Nothing to see, guys. A trader placed popcorn in the microwave, thus creating a fire and setting off the alarm. We put it out with our watermark.
-Cliff
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:11PM
@19 burn!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:13PM
as implied in the video, there's nothing to see here-- Biff will be fine, considering he'd knock everyone over to get out of the place first, like the sucker of cock he is.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:13PM
There are a few different offices in there, not just AQR. Silver Point has offices there. Also, that parking lot faces the Greenwich train station. So it could be for any one of those things. And besides, it's September, CA is probably in the Hamptons.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:13PM
There are a few different offices in there, not just AQR. Silver Point has offices there. Also, that parking lot faces the Greenwich train station. So it could be for any one of those things. And besides, it's August, CA is probably in the Hamptons.
Posted by highlyconfident , Aug 28, 2009 2:13PM
Let me just slip outta these shirt sleeves and I'll fight those flames.
-CG
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:14PM
Fucking microwave popcorn. Every company that provides microwave popcorn for traders has had financial trouble or gone out of business.
Tell you what, you can offer me that big fat fucking salary and bonus that I demand but if I see any fucking microwave popcorn in the vending machines or elswhere on your trade floor I'm walking, pal.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:14PM
I'm going to Dorsia
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:14PM
@22/23, yeah that's why the post says "among others." cliff's just the most important.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:17PM
It's never okay to joke about a fire, or potential fire, until you know everyone's safe. This is just sick.
Posted by Mark Klein MD , Aug 28, 2009 2:17PM
It is probably just their investors' cash that is going up in smoke. They should send the cop cars next.
Posted by Clown Capital , Aug 28, 2009 2:18PM
Looks like CA is trying to pull a Marcus Schrenker. Only one problem; Greenwich's finest showed up too early.
"What goes up, must come down, shitty performance, round and round..."
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:19PM
@28 is correct.
~Fire Marshall Bill
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:20PM
I am a CFA - ha -
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 28, 2009 2:20PM
@28
how do you know it's a fire? maybe someone killed themselves...jeez lighten up
Posted by Bess Levin , Aug 28, 2009 2:21PM
@28 what's sick is that you would automatically assume I was joking. This post was completely sincere. Stop projecting your shit on me.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:21PM
Whats better - CFA or MBA?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:21PM
@28 burn
Posted by highlyconfident , Aug 28, 2009 2:22PM
@26 I had a reservation there but had to cancel as I'm going to see the acclaimed musical Oh Africa, Brave Africa ... I've heard it's a laugh riot.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:23PM
How's this @28:
A fireman and a hedge fund trader died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even have one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady who reportedly had been laid off from a bank in New York City.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off.
When he bent over to pick them up the hedge fund trader's wings fell off.
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 28, 2009 2:23PM
What's with the sea urchin ceviche?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:24PM
@22 Its september? Where?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:25PM
Ah, Shit, I just agreed with SBII. I need to self immolate.
It's been great ....
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:25PM
@35: PhD
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:28PM
Jesus Christ, I was just fucking with you people. I don't give a shit if they all burn to death.
-28
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 28, 2009 2:28PM
Beth Levin has mistaken me for this dickhead Biff Blasness. It seems logical because Biff also works at AQR and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses and sucking fat rhinoceros cock. Biff and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:29PM
Sorry guys,
I just wrote an investor letter that was so scintillating, that I closed with 'burn after reading'. Get this, one of my employees that was proofreading it took it a bit too literally. This is not a PR stunt at all, but the real deal. I'm going for shock and awe. I know you guys can't wait.
-Cliff
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:29PM
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
-Milton
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:30PM
Anybody got numbers for GFD first-years?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:31PM
Pretty sure that burning was his ass accompanied by some bleeding from the rectum. Pretty sure.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:36PM
I've been away... who is Mark Klein MD?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:37PM
Bernie and I just become intimate. He liked "role playing and was a big fan of the NYFD. He said that we would have sex on "the bell system."
He went on to say that one bell meant take your clothes off...two bells meant get into bed...and three bells meant start fooling around.
Bernie and I met at the Willard one day and we decided to try out his system.... he hollered "One Bell" and I seductively took off my clothes. I was moist with excitement!
Bernie hollered "Two Bells" and I got into bed.
He hollered "Three Bells" and we started fooling around like crazy. Oh God my heart was beating so fast!!!
A few minutes later, I surprised Bernie by yelling, "Four Bells."
"Four Bells?" Bernie asked, "What is 'four bells' signal?"
"Let out more hose!" I yelled. "You're nowhere near the fire!"
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 28, 2009 2:38PM
@49
he tapes 20 minute workout and plays it back in 10 minutes...great workout
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:38PM
@46 FTW!
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 28, 2009 2:39PM
@50 well played!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:48PM
Biff's death ruled a homicide. The question is who did it? Go GFD!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8227778.stm
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:48PM
@49
"You're livin in the past, man!"
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:49PM
@50 I really wanted to laugh, but i was serious. I'm lost in translation... I assume he has nothing to do with CG or HCP?
-49
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:50PM
@54......Quick!! Has Lindbergh made it to Paris yet???
Posted by Klark Mein , Aug 28, 2009 2:50PM
Fire. Fire, fire. Heh, fire. Right. Investors, good. Investment professionals, bad. Fire fire. Fire Island. Fantasy Island. Ricardo Montablan. Fine Corinthian Leather. Tattoo. I like short guys.
Tattoo is hot. Fire is hot. I wonder if Tattoo got burned. I know first aid and can help burns. Investors get burned too . . . so they should send the cops to arrest Tattoo.
He . . . heh . . . Fire.
Mark Klein, MD
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 2:58PM
@49/56
http://equityprivate.typepad.com/ep/2006/09/ode_to_dr_mark_.html
Pretty much sums it up.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:09PM
I'm getting worried. I don't think Biff is such an ass that, knowing that DB is sincerely worried about him, it's been well over an hour and he hasn't checked in to say he's OK. I just have a bad feeling about this.
Posted by Mark Klein, MD , Aug 28, 2009 3:13PM
I love molesting Collies with Dennis Kneale. It's like getting back at the man (Jews, Bankers, Blacks) each thrust at a time.
Mark Klein, MD
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:17PM
Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog, a collie, was named Lassie? Had you heard this?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:23PM
Here you go boys:
http://drmarkklein.blogspot.com/
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:30PM
Dennis Come Home (1943) not so much a great movie but an endictment of American excesses of the 40's
Starring Dennis Kneale as the eponymous evil prison guard and Lassie, a collie, as his downtrodden victim.
Rated (R) for full frontal nudity, strong sexual content and canine language.
Not to be confused with the movie "Lasie Come Home(1943)" of the same era.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:30PM
@7:
Dat black 02 Lincoln, thoid car from da left, is mine. Sweet, sweet ride. And da fuckin' trunk is huge. You should see summadashit dat I put in dare.
-CG
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:33PM
Why didn't the people that work in that building take advantage of Cash fo Clunkers?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:33PM
Remember the movie Boiler Room? The contingency plan? Just sayin....
- pfluger
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:33PM
Why didn't the people that work in that building take advantage of Cash fo Clunkers?
-BHO
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:35PM
@63 So what happened to him and why is some douchebag resurrecting him on DB (unfunnily, I might add)
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:42PM
Mr. President, unfortunately the people who own those cars cannot afford new car payments.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:44PM
@70 I see what you did there. Hilarious.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:46PM
Who is CA?
Who is Biff?
Who is DB?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:50PM
POTUS: Lar, why didn't the people that work in that building take advantage of Cash fo Clunkers?
SUMMERS: Mr. President, unfortunately the people who own those cars cannot afford new car payments.
POTUS: Seriously? What do they do?
SUMMERS: Work for hedge funds. Traders mostly, but some principals too.
POTUS: You shittin' me?
SUMMERS: No sir.
POTUS: God damn!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:54PM
@73 - Epic Fail
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 3:57PM
Does anyone know where I can find high quality Japanese rape porn?
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 28, 2009 4:00PM
@75 anime? or the real deal?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:00PM
I had a dream last night in which AD was lactating peppermint flavored milk into a hollowed out bust of Winston Churchill. What does this mean?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:01PM
@74 how's the car running?
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:02PM
@76 - anime is for pussies. I want the real deal.
Posted by Not Frank Dux , Aug 28, 2009 4:02PM
@ 75 - You are not Japanese! You are not a Tanaka!
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:04PM
@75
You call me on private phone, I tell you.
-Mr. Nomura
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 28, 2009 4:04PM
@77 I had a dream of her giving me an uncomfortably dry HJ while we watched aboriginal hardcore porn. Men at Work was also playing a live gig but the only song they would play is "Who Can It Be Now?"
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:05PM
@78...What car?...Not 74
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:09PM
@77
You're pretty sick, Chubbs
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:15PM
@77 - are you sure it wasn't Phil Mickelson's bust? I'd think you would get more milk that way.
Posted by guest , Aug 28, 2009 4:35PM
@naked
"I come from a land down under"
That's the only song that counts on so many levels. Your dream was busted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNT7uZf7lew
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 28, 2009 4:37PM
@86 thats a valid point. I think the hardest I have ever laughed was when they closed the 2000 Sydney Olympics with that song.
Posted by guest , Aug 31, 2009 10:48AM
@32
You are a CFA charterholder. I will report you for failing to abide by the standards rule #7B.