Picture 1856.png
Sort of, though it could be a trap. Let’s back the Zamboni up for a sec. If you asked us yesterday whether or not we thought enough time had passed that Papa Bear would be cool with you bringing up the whole on-site sex change operation that went down at SAC a couple years back, we would’ve said say, well, that depends on whether or not you’re cool with having your junk placed in a deep fryer. If yes, proceed. Charlie Gasparino is apparently more than okay with the idea of having a crispy drumstick, which would explain his eagerness to broach the subject last night (in addition to the booze, obviously).
We’re told by the Campagnola’s moles we’re now friends with after introductions by the local yokel were made that Chaz was dining and doing deals at the restaurant last night, like he does, as was Big Poppa, with, among others, Bo Dietl (for reasons unknown but possibly to see if he could get an in with Stephen Baldwin, who played BD in One Tough Cop: The Bo Dietl Story). Gaspo being “friends” with Dietl, went over to say hello. He wasn’t planning on interrupting Stevie, who was feasting on a piece of veal, but Bo nudged the Big Guy and asked “Hey Steve, you know Charlie, right?” As you’re aware, Chazza is not generally starstruck, he being a big ball of gas himself, but in that moment, he could barely speak. Sensing that this would be his one chance to tell the BG something he’d been dying to get off his chest, CG pulled it together and said, “I gotta tell ya, the best scoop I ever had was that story about your traders feeding each other da hormone pills.”


Did the Grand High Pooh-bah finish chewing the piece of baby calf in his mouth, then motion for his body guard, who carries a gun with him, to take CG out, or to at least castrate him then and there, in an unintentional homage to Andrew Tong? Unfortunately, no. Instead he started “laughing and shaking his head” and told Chaz, “I’m in Stamford, I don’t know what these guys in New York are doing,” which may or may not have been an unspoken greenlight for anyone working out of the Madison Avenue office to go hog wild. Then Bo apparently added, several times, “Charlie, you better watch out for Stevie, he’s half Italian,” which we’re pretty true is categorically false but regardless, was clearly a hint that CG will be making his final appearance on CNBC tonight before placed in a tank of formaldehyde on the trading floor as a warning to any employees “looking to get cute.”

Comments (74)

  1. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    that picture’s going to haunt my dreams.

  2. Posted by highlyconfident | August 13, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    Handling Stevie isn’t that tough: when he opens his mouth and raises his arm to punch, jab him in the face making his shorts fall down revealing the weak spot on his stomach. When his shorts fall you can punch his belly until he pulls his shorts back up. Repeat until he gets knocked down – you only need to knock him down once!
    Bald Bull on the other hand…

  3. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    @2 stevie wouldn’t be the one throwing the punches. as stated, he has a trained killer by his side at all times.

  4. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    That pic is obviously faked. I was wearing my sleeveless sweatshirt, Zubas and embroidered bandana skull cap when I met SC last night.
    –CG

  5. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    his bodyguard is Soda Popinski

  6. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    that pic = my new background

  7. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    the guinea sleeps with the fishes.
    -sc

  8. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:10 PM

    One more reason to be ashamed of living in NY.
    Steve, take me back with you to Fairfield.
    -Sammy Sigma CP

  9. Posted by highlyconfident | August 13, 2009 at 3:11 PM

    @3 hence the bald bull reference

  10. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:12 PM

    “Chazza is not generally starstruck, he being a big ball of gas himself”
    Hilarious!

  11. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:19 PM

    when did sc start waxing his chest? not complaining, just wondering.

  12. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    @5 – I will drop him if he gets in my face
    - Glass Joe

  13. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:21 PM

    so did they fuck?

  14. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    this post = pure gold

  15. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:23 PM

    @14 true

  16. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:25 PM
  17. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:26 PM

    @16 seriously? no one needs to given “context” for what the sex change story is, and if they do they shouldn’t be reading this site.

  18. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    and no one thought to invite me?! pigs.
    -ping

  19. Posted by MarshallStack | August 13, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    Is there gas in the zamboni?
    Yes, there’s gas in the zamboni.
    Stevie Charlemagne, Queen of the Franks

  20. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | August 13, 2009 at 3:30 PM

    best picture ever. Bess, you’re back with a bang!

  21. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    @ 17 = fag

  22. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:32 PM

    @16: Thanks, now the story makes a little more sense. But what’s SAC Capital?
    –GM

  23. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    Bess-
    Took a while for a Gaspo post, considering he’s all you thought about while on vacation.

  24. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    @21/16 why, because i had the audacity to point out that linking to a story about the hormone case “for a little context” is like thinking that linking to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldman_Sachs will shed some light on gs posts? fuck off and just accept that 16′s contribution was the stuff of tards.

  25. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    is that chazza jumper for real or did you ingeniuosly photo-shop in all the white stripes? and what the h%ll? there are ties lying on the table. does that seriously suggest they went round the neck with that ensemble?

  26. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    That pic might be faked. Only French dockworkers wear those striped jerseys.
    Don’t ask how I know.

  27. Posted by Anal_yst | August 13, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    What Bess didn’t tell you guys/gals is that before the above pic was taken, Stevie & Chucky took turns inserting those candles into the wine bottles with their mouths.
    Don’t make me tell you what they did before that though…

  28. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    @23 next time be funny

  29. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:38 PM

    @25 yes

  30. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:40 PM

    @25 the ties are for gagging, not wearing. come on.

  31. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    @24, assuming that everyone is aware of the SAC hormone case means that you are a self-centered little prick. Au revoir cocksucker

  32. Posted by MarshallStack | August 13, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    Don’t worry Chaz it only seems kinky the first time.

  33. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | August 13, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    @Anal: I’m going to guess it involves that tie, that highly shook-up bottle of champagne, and a boatload of female hormone pills.

  34. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    ho, ho, ho, etienne, zew like mon livre about ze markets et ze jacques cayne?
    mais oui, charles, vous ete merveilleux, mon ami. je vous adore.

  35. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    @31 no, seriously, are you joking? who the fuck doesn’t know about the sac hormone case?

  36. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    2 corrections: 1) Steve is indeed 1/4th Italian; 2) NY office is on Madison, not Park
    – an alum who knows….

  37. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    returns that bad at sac they can’t afford electricity?

  38. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | August 13, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    @31: On this site, yes, I would say 100% knowledge of the hormone case is pretty much assured.

  39. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:48 PM

    @36 it’s 375 park

  40. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:51 PM

    alum@36 where you at now?
    -fellow trannie lookin to reconnect

  41. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    correction– charlie did not wear a tie. his black neckerchief and beret lay out of focus on the right.

  42. Posted by Investorcluzo | August 13, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    @31 – new here I see. please, this isn’t the yahoo finance board. you need to come correct or take your chances swimming amongst the sharks with chum tied to your ankle…
    tiger is back, b1tches!
    @perkins, I was thinking something more along the lines of the opening scenes in bruno.

  43. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:57 PM

    Ah, Chaz and Stevie…. just a couple of gay icons.

  44. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:59 PM

    bess are you going to frame that pic and put it on your bedside table?

  45. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 3:59 PM

    stevie head gotta be photoshopped. he seems like the type who’d have more chest hair popping out of the v-neck than that.

  46. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    @45 i recently started waxing. all over.
    -sc

  47. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    why does chazza have female hands.

  48. Posted by NakedShort | August 13, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    @ 46 you too? My happy trail was starting to look like the Amazon so Lloyd paid for a Brazilian.
    -M. Whitney

  49. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    What the fuck is the matter with you @31??? I’m disgusted with you. The last time you used a french phrase and the word “cocksucker” weren’t you were applying for a job as Kerviel’s trading assistant?

  50. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:05 PM

    @47 do you really need to ask?

  51. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | August 13, 2009 at 4:06 PM

    @44: I have it from a well-placed source with direct knowledge of the matter, as CG would put it, that Bess has had that photo up on her computer screen for over half an hour now. (really)
    @45: thanks oh so very much, all the rest of us truly thought that was genuine. grateful to you for enlightening.
    and cluzo you’re absolutely right, of course.

  52. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    DID HE DIE?

  53. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    What a bunch of freaks at that bucket shop.
    -Cliff

  54. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:12 PM

    @ 42, you’re pathetic

  55. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:14 PM

    @54 you’re 16, which is worse

  56. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:14 PM

    I’ve got to hand it to the guy: extremely warm, friendly; a real charmer. He had soft hands, and purred like a motor boat at dusk. We listened to Celine Dion, slowly chewing veal and rapini. When he whispered “scotch tape” in my ear and growled, I was his.
    -Charles Gasparino

  57. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    31 just got owned…by 49!

  58. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:34 PM

    @57- you’re 49. Assclown.

  59. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    “Nice to meet you, Stevie. I’m a big art collector, too: I got Gold’s Gym tank tops from 37 different cities.”

  60. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 4:53 PM

    23 has got to be Chuckles

  61. Posted by Investorcluzo | August 13, 2009 at 4:58 PM

    @54 – what, did your mommy pick you up from kindercare early today? shouldn’t you be watching dora the explorer and not playing with daddy’s computer? turn off the machine before you get into troubs. k thx bye!

  62. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    Greg M: I think I can sum up the new strategy for DB for you with one word: NOTHING.
    Bess: Nothing?
    GM: (Smiling) Nothing.
    BL: (Unimpressed) What does that mean?
    GM: The Blog is about nothing.
    EP: (To Greg) Well, it’s not about nothing.
    GM: (To EP) No, it’s about nothing.
    EP: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
    (Greg and EP glare at each other.)
    BL :What’s the premise?
    EP: ..Well, as I was saying, I would write about Finance, and myself, and, living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbor, and an ex-girlfriend, which is all true.
    Greg M: Yeah, but nothing happens on the show. You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read.. You eat, you read, You go shopping.
    Bess: You read? You read on the Blog?
    EP: Well, I don’t know about the reading.. We didn’t discuss the reading.
    Bess: All right, tell me, tell me about the posts. What kind of stories an posts?
    GM: Oh, no. No stories.
    Bess: No stories? So, what is it?
    GM: (Showing an example) What’d you do today?
    Bess: I got up and came to work.
    GM: There’s a post. That’s a post.
    Bess: (Confused) How is that a post?
    EP: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.
    GM: No, no, no. Nothing happens.
    EP: Well, something happens.
    Bess: Well, why am I reading it?
    GM: Because it’s on the Internet.
    Bess: (Threatening) Not yet.

  63. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    @62 really fucking stupid

  64. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:10 PM

    @39 — 540 Madison is their main NY Office

  65. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:11 PM

    Stupid? or Genius???

  66. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    @62 & @65
    Get jobs, losers.

  67. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    Hey Guys….S E X with cucumbers is fun!!!!!!!
    Ben “d me over” Bernanke

  68. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:24 PM

    Summertime – and the life is easy
    summertime – and the news are thin

  69. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    @62 I’ve seen worse, so a credible effort.

  70. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    @68 going read the wsj if you dont think that is newsworthy, or better yet, kill yourself.

  71. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 5:41 PM

    In the shadow of the moon, TARPapin Station.
    And I know we’ll get there soon, TARPapin Station.
    I can’t figure out, TARPapin, if it’s the end or beginning, TARPapin,
    But the train’s put it’s brakes on, TARPapin,
    And the whistle is screaming, TARPapin.
    Dammit, Cayne! Shut up, and pass the joint already!
    - R S Fuld Jr.

  72. Posted by guest | August 13, 2009 at 8:11 PM

    Look what this recession has brought!
    Who ever was having a b-day, can no longer afford to buy cake with b-day candles.

  73. Posted by guest | October 1, 2009 at 9:45 PM

    Y’all aint from around here are you?

  74. Posted by Anal_yst | October 1, 2009 at 9:56 PM

    @73 a bit slow, are we?

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