• 31 Aug 2009 at 1:43 PM

Tool Of The Week: Psyching Out Your Competition

By

You’ve heard of psychologically breaking someone, yes? It’s a tool all the best money mangers use, but up until now, haven’t discussed publicly. A demo of what we’re talking about, featuring new SAC Chief Strategist Mike Tyson, is after the jump. It may get a little dark for those of you with weak stomachs, but if you’re willing to sacrifice some queasiness in order to win, let’s get it on.



Earlier: Tools Of The Week: Making Your Hedge Fund $$$

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    Comments (59)

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    1. 1
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 1:47 PM

      holy shit

    2. 2
      Posted by Kid Dynamite | August 31, 2009 at 1:48 PM

      definitely the best ever use of “i’ll eat your asshole” as a threat

    3. 3
      Posted by gary busey | August 31, 2009 at 1:48 PM

      i’m sorry, I thought I was the only celebrity working in this shithouse? wtf?

    4. 4
      Posted by pfluger | August 31, 2009 at 1:49 PM

      Mike was talking to CG in that clip.

    5. 5
      Posted by Ping Jiang | August 31, 2009 at 1:50 PM

      HEY. “Ill fuck you til you love me” is MY LINE.

    6. 6
      Posted by NakedShort | August 31, 2009 at 1:52 PM

      I heard from a little bird that SC reacted the exact same way when he found out his traders were short Volkswagen last October.

    7. 7
      Posted by SC | August 31, 2009 at 1:54 PM

      The line about Mike working for us is bull shit but you can bet your asses I’ll be making full use of this tip.

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 1:57 PM

      At little heads up to watch this w/ headphones would’ve been nice!

    9. 9
      Posted by Bess Levin | August 31, 2009 at 2:01 PM

      @8 apologies, but that was worth it just to imagine Mike blasting out of your speakers as someone important walked by.

    10. 10
      Posted by lenny dykstra | August 31, 2009 at 2:04 PM

      is sac hiring?

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:06 PM

      I fucking love this guy.

    12. 12
      Posted by biff basness | August 31, 2009 at 2:07 PM

      Whatever, I make this guy look normal.

    13. 13
      Posted by barney frank | August 31, 2009 at 2:09 PM

      “i’ll eat your asshole”
      bring it on!!!!

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:11 PM

      Weird that he almost sounds like he’s going to break into tears at any moment. His voice keeps cracking.
      Just goes to show you what a horrible mistake one makes when one tries anthropomorphize Mike Tyson.

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:12 PM

      I’d classify this as moderately NSFW.

    16. 16
      Posted by stever | August 31, 2009 at 2:13 PM

      No, we haven’t hired this guy. YET. But I like what I saw here today.

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      @15 prepare to have your asshole eaten.

    18. 18
      Posted by Mike Tyson | August 31, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      “Everybody’s got a plan….’til he gets hit!

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      @9 True.
      But seriously, they need to put that guy in a straightjacket.

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      well? did he fuck gasparino in the ass or not?

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:15 PM

      I think I am man enough to last 2 min. in his new, more rotund world http://stureplansfrancis.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/fat-mike-tyson.jpg

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:16 PM

      Comment removed by moderator.

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:21 PM

      @22 I pity you.

    24. 24
      Posted by sc | August 31, 2009 at 2:21 PM

      @21 who doesn’t like a little extra cushion for the pushin?

    25. 25
      Posted by NakedShort | August 31, 2009 at 2:21 PM

      @22 you are an idiot

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:22 PM

      what did 22 say?

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:22 PM

      I just played this at work loud enough for people within 10 feet to hear it and nobody even looked up. Should I be concerned?

    28. 28
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:23 PM

      I just played this at work loud enough for people within 10 feet to hear it and nobody even looked up. Should I be concerned?

    29. 29
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:23 PM

      @21, WTF is going on with the front of his pants in that picture?

    30. 30
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:25 PM

      @28 where do you work and are they hiring?

    31. 31
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:26 PM

      I wonder if he’s missing the man-love days from the federal penitentiary.
      And “Tool of the Week” definitely has two meanings. Of course, it is just Monday and CG is just getting started.
      22 had a rather inappropriate comment regarding his daughter’s unfortunate end.

    32. 32
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:27 PM

      @28/@27 I see your co-workers are giving you the shakes. For your future sanity I’d be concerned.
      @26 something about Tyson’s daughter that died recently.

    33. 33
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:27 PM

      I think there’s a very good chance Mike Tyson will kill someone for a really petty reason before he dies.

    34. 34
      Posted by NakedShort | August 31, 2009 at 2:29 PM

      Maybe he was acting; based on his performance in The Hangover he seems to be a method actor.

    35. 35
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:30 PM

      This honey never got the memo that he is a bankrupt convicted rapist. Nice Buddha.
      http://www.flickr.com/photos/theleetgeeks/3116632656/

    36. 36
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:32 PM

      I want to see Tyson come out of retirement to fight “Golden Gloves” Gaspo.

    37. 37
      Posted by pfluger | August 31, 2009 at 2:36 PM

      @34/NS -
      He wasn’t actin’. I was just tellin’ him that I coulda been a contendah too!, except one day when I was in da ring, I wuz thinkin’ about a nice pork bracciole and bit some punk’s ear. Den, for some reason, Mike got pissed and started hollerin’ at me, the fuck.
      - CG

    38. 38
      Posted by Tax Chick | August 31, 2009 at 2:36 PM

      @24 one would need a backhoe to get that cushion moving…

    39. 39
      Posted by Investorcluzo | August 31, 2009 at 2:36 PM

      I think I saw this banter last night on “to catch a preditor.” it was the gay version where they were staking out some place on flagler beach. I was hoping to see “tiger” or everyone’s fav billy ash…

    40. 40
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 2:37 PM

      Mike had a few golden touches there.

    41. 41
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:01 PM

      I just made a mental note of “I’ll f*** you till you love me”

    42. 42
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:01 PM

      @41 gonna use it tonight?

    43. 43
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:17 PM

      Best of:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwFW834Mrcc

    44. 44
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:19 PM

      Whether MT did CG in the ass or not, we do not know, but CG did say that
      “I love Mike”.

    45. 45
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:24 PM

      @42, nope, I am going to drink lotsa muscle milk all week. Then maybe over the weekend, I’ll wear my Christian Audigier t-shirt and try to pick up some rough trade with that line.

    46. 46
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:34 PM

      Since when is it bad to get your ass eaten? C’mon people, this isn’t the 90s anymore. Nothing says true love like a rim job or A2M.

    47. 47
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:36 PM

      @46 you need help

    48. 48
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:39 PM

      @47 – you offering?
      - hoping 47 is Tax Chick

    49. 49
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:42 PM

      A little known fact, but the champ has a series of advice tapes available on Amazon. I’ve used tips from his Management Series to effectively motivate my department – productivity is up 76% YoY and NOBODY screws around at staff meetings.
      I’s also recommend:
      “Asking for a Raise”
      and
      “Getting your Neighbor to Stop Letting his Dog Crap on your Lawn”

    50. 50
      Posted by Tax Chick | August 31, 2009 at 3:44 PM

      @48 – Sorry Charlie. But I am sure MT would be more than willing to come over and help you out.

    51. 51
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 3:52 PM

      @48 not Tax Chick. I’m a dude.
      - 47

    52. 52
      Posted by Porker Stankleberry | August 31, 2009 at 5:09 PM

      Jesus – from the picture, it looks like Iron Mike ate George Foreman.
      And not just his ass, either.

    53. 53
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 5:33 PM

      Is Mike Tyson REALLY working at SAC?

    54. 54
      Posted by Scared | August 31, 2009 at 8:17 PM

      I guess I won’t be withdrawing my investment in Cerberus Mr. Feinberg. Does this mean you won’t gove me a reacharound either?

    55. 55
      Posted by guest | August 31, 2009 at 9:39 PM

      oh for fuck sake just give him back his tiger…

    56. 56
      Posted by guest | September 1, 2009 at 1:14 AM

      This little white pussy bitch would’ve gladly taken that beatdown for the nice payday it’d've gotten me.
      rich pussy bitch > dumbass brain-battered boxer

    57. 57
      Posted by guest | October 19, 2009 at 9:57 PM

      @14, watch the whole movie and you’ll understand how sadly fucked up the man’s mind is.

    58. 58
      Posted by Bristol Airport Hotels | April 18, 2012 at 9:11 PM

      B7BORu Say, you got a nice article.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

    59. 59
      Posted by Bristol Airport Hotels | April 19, 2012 at 7:01 PM

      kWr6B1 I really liked your article post. Really Great.

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