Much like the Cubs, the UBS Investment Bank’s rallying cry seems to be ‘wait til next year’ in terms of when the unit will bring home a profitable quarter. As virtually every other major IB was making money hand over fist in FICC trading last quarter, UBS focused its attention on charging up the league table in lawsuits. The (current) CEO Oswald Gruebel recently highlighted just how bad things have become.
“We had virtually nothing, no revenues from credit trading, which was the biggest performer in the last quarter.”
But the news isn’t all terrible. Based on CFO John Cryan’s comments regarding when profitability will return, the concept of the why firms hedge may have finally made its way to the Swiss bank.
“I was asked this by the board, and I likened it to predicting the weather in the U.K.,” he said. “You can predict it for about the next half an hour, but you can’t predict it for much longer than that.”
If Jefferies is done plundering, and the IB can go more than 3 weeks without having to pay up for new senior management hires, they might be able to drop the second derivative loss rhetoric and reacquaint themselves with a color other than red.
hooray, i can’t wait for another 5k bonus!
-FICC MD
Oswald, there is no curse but maybe you should bring a goat to the next meeting.
ubs biz model: get in at the top of the market, get out at the bottom. 75% of the time it works every time.
Great story, keep it up Greg
- Jefferies SVP
Cubs suck!
- Cardinals Fan
Cards suckm more – just look at today’s game.
- Cubs fan
BTW – who is in second place?
Cards suck more – just look at today’s game.
- Cubs fan
BTW – who is in second place?
Greg, I’ve been quietly rooting for you for a while. After comparing UBS to the Cubs, however, I have to inform you that I am now on the other side. Good day to you, sir.
Is Bess gone from DB forever?
Pinella’s coming for you Greg. Beware or be aware!
Cubs to UBS comparrison is really not that bad, but the story is boring.
The Hindenberg, the Titanic, the Andria Doria, Michael Dukakis’ presidential campaign and the baseball Texas Rangers. Now we’re talkin’ disasters.
Question – why doesn’t anyone ever debate what is better – an MBA or a CFP on this site? I could use the insight as I wrap up my undergrad degree from Phoenix online… Thanks
hear that Citi is closing its multi family business. any details?
The Cubs will never ever ever win a World Series – EVER! it is IMPOSSIBLE! Trust me – give up!
- Theo Epstein
Wait until Bess gets back and finds out you two were working on the “Pensky File” all week… ohhh boyyyyyyyyyy…
Cubs win World Series in 2009. You can take it to the bank (but not UBS unless you are fleeing the IRS).
@ 6, @7 -
Please fill out the following questionaire:
1. When was the last time the Cubs made the World Series?
2. When was the last time the Cardinals made the World Series?
3. Please list the most important technological inventions since the Cubs won the World Series. Do the same for the Cardinals.
4. When does one game or a 2nd place standing with ~50 games to go in the season have any bearing on a team’s worth?
If UBS = SUCK, then you can’t spell Cubs without UBS.
@18 – Taking that Cards 9-0 loss today pretty tough, huh?
At least America loves the Cubs generally speaking. UBS on the other hand helped people lie, cheat and steal from the USA. Not a good comparison. At least the Cubs have a chance to do something we care about in the next 40 years.