British thespian Carey Mulligan, left, will apparently be playing the love interest of ShiBeouf (and daughter of Gordon Gekko) in Money Never Sleeps. Josh Brolin is yet to accept the role of the “evil” short-seller, after it was turned down by Javier Bardem in a move that left the hedge fund industry reeling, as it was lobbying hard for an actor that could pull off a bowl cut (such as this guy, still waiting for an offer). Also up for grabs is the minor (/major) part of Biff Basness, who Gekko meets on the inside and with whom he starts an underground cock fighting league. If you’ve got any suggestions, let’s hear ‘em.
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NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
is she a junkie?
what’s that saying related to chrome and a trailer hitch and sucking?
@2 huh?
wilford brimley as basness
Sanjaya as Vikram Pandit
@5 YES
“the minor (/major) part of Biff Basness, who Gekko meets on the inside and with whom he starts an underground cock fighting league.”
that would actually make this piece of shit movie worth seeing.
Rob Reiner as Bassness. Brimley has already committed to the Steinhardt role.
malkovich as the evil, naked shorter…with a russian accent.
@7 they should have bess to a rewrite.
I’d hit it.
-heroin addict
who will play amanda drury’s tits?
She may not be a natural blond.
@3 come on man!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Ep1nmwWU0
@12
The Olsen twins.
http://images.google.com/images?q=carey%20mulligan&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi
Charlie Gasparino as himself
michael vick as ken griffin
The 2010 Chevy Astro van as the evil short selling Decepticon “Down-TIX” leading to a reprise of Shia’s patented line:
“Down-TIX wants what’s in my MIND!”
@2
I believe you are looking for a great redneck line, as in: “Man that bj was good, that girl could suck the rust off a trailer hitch.”
I’d hit it twice. “Taking a Mulligan” if you will.
Remember this won’t be Shia’s first stab at a Wall Street role. I enjoyed his work in the 2003 M. Bartiromo biopic: Holes (filled with cum).
The eyebrows say alterna-chick, the emaciated body screams I’ll suck your cock for a hit of E.
@3…Please allow me to be your docent here in the Hall of Humor that this thread encourages. As we view each particular comment’s artful presentation you will from time to time see what is known as a “joke” or “bon mot” as they say in Le Havre. Let’s look again at @2′s comment, “what’s that saying related to chrome and a trailer hitch and sucking?” as pertains to the thread we are presently discussing.
The wonderful Ms. Levin began the unintentional set up of the joke by posting a picture of the young, beautiful British thespian Carey Mulligan with her charming “cupid’s bow” lips and mouth.
Then, soon thereafter, the earthy and quick-witted @2 responded to the pic and story with his jocular comment, “what’s that saying related to chrome and a trailer hitch and sucking?”
In reality, @2 was making a reference to an old witticism that is usually told in reference to a persons ability to perform the inhallational part (the suck) of the oral sex act of “fellatio” aka “pole smoking” or in pedestrian terms, a “blow job”.
In the effort to imply by observation that the targeted individual had such prowess on the “sucking” part of the act of love referenced above, strong metaphors are used by witty people to describe the power of the alleged performer’s ability to reduce the air presssure in her mouth relevant to the outside air pressure. Thus, @2 chose as his/her metaphor the absurd idea that chrome could be sucked off of a trailor hitch and wants us to associate such power perhaps with the image of the British actress. (Note: @2 could have used “suck start a motor cycle” with equal humorous results.)
I hope that helped.
Sincerely,
~The Joke Briefer
Bravo @15, bravo.
And bravo to The Joke Briefer, even though his valued presence brings into sharper relief the absence of The Forehead Slapper.
@25
Vick could do a cameo as the cockfighting promoter.
@24 FTW!
Haven’t noticed The Joke Briefer in a while.
Good to know he’s still out there; [The Joke Briefer], that is.
@24 : Joke Briefer
you made my day
-2
After reading the script, more now than ever, Shia is awful for the lead role. Alas, I can’t think of anyone who’d be much better, dearth of quality male lead actors in hollywood as it were.
The updates will never end!
Please someone stop it.
I wish we could fast forward to the first trailer for this piece of garbage.
The marketing campaign for this movie will be unbearable, as will all media coverage (excluding DB.)
In my experience English girls give horrible head…I’m just sayin
Australian girls give the worst head. I think it’s because of all the beatings they get from Australian men.
Miles Fisher … the Evil Short-seller
Tony Shalhoub … Oleg
Mike Farrell … T. Boone Pickens
Elvis Costello … Damien Hirst
Chuck Pfeiffer … Chuckie
Jaleel Ahmad White … Cluzo
Amanda Drury … Herself
@9 – Check, Check, Check!
@19 fucking hilarious
bess is back… the funny comments are back… sissy greg and tl;dr ep are in retreat… DB IS BACK BABY!!
@24 Thank you for that.
@32 I second that, I’m English
@24
That horrible, hopefully by intent, in which case, bravo!
I’d say Oleg should be Vigo Mortenson, but he’s too clean cut and trim, hmm, relatively slovenly, whore-banging, coke-snorking, hmm, Brandon Davis? Jack Black?
Too bad none of the guys I can think of can act for sh*t
Hulk Hogan as the baddie!
GREED IS GOOD, BROTHER!!!
@24, that comment, sir, is the reason I come here
@24, such high-brow ribaldry!
beats bardem for hair any day:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1203803904/nm0851458
David Duchovny as the NY AG Prosecutor/Client #9
Eddie Murphy as Maxine Waters
Harvey Weinstein as Barney Frank
Dustin Diamond as High Frequency Trader #1
Yakov Smirnoff as High Frequency Trader #2
Kathy Bates as Mary Schapiro
Ben Stein as Paul Krugman
Phil Philmar as Hank Paulson
Hank Azaria as Bif Basness
Joe the Plumber as Biff Basness – seriously.
Vincent Gallo would be a show stopper.Then he could snort some lithium and have Cloe Sevigny blow Michael Douglas.It would be high art.
Dog the Bounty Hunter as Meredith Whitney?
Bess how did you find a picture of me?
I bet Cliff would finance the movie himself if he could get Brad Pitt to play Biff
@50 who is this Cliff you speak of?
We’re talking about Biff Basness.
Daniel Schrag as Biff Basness
http://www.learner.org/courses/envsci/scientist/scientist.php?shortname=schrag
Separated at birth???
Philip Seymour Hoffmann as Biff Basness
Philip Seymour Hoffmann as Biff Basness
@53/@54 Good call!
Philip will do a fanastic job of capturing his air of hurried desperation.
as previously mentioned, i’d hit that so hard that … shit i forget how it goes. something about the queen of England
Paul Reubens as Timmay
whoever could pull me out would become the King of all England.
that was it.
Sean Connery as the Beard
Michael Chiklis as the Bald
Jackie Chan as Danny Pang
Clint Howard as evil short seller
David Carradine as dead hooker #1
Charlie Gasparino as sleeveless street tough
Grimmus as Biff Basness
Stuart Scott as Becky Quicks lazy eye
Sean Connery … the Bald
Michael Chiklis …the Bald
Jackie Chan … Danny Pang
Clint Howard … Nefarious Short Seller
David Carradine … dead hooker #1
Incredibly black obese man … homo trader
Charlie Gasparino … sleeveless street tough
Grimmus … Biff Basness
Stuart Scott … Becky Quick’s lazy eye
For some reason, @48 made me snarf
shaggy from scooby doo as cody willard
@24…. brilliant as always.
Eddie Izzard … Evil Short-seller
R. Lee Ermey … Bald
Billy Crystal … Beard
John Goodman … Boone’s
Michael Richards … Timmay G
Wallace Shawn … LB
Denis Leary … Cool James
Richard Lewis … John Mack
Tommy Chong … Jimmy Cayne
M. Night Shyamalan … Vickle the Tickle
Ted Danson … Dick Fuld
Elizabeth Berkley … Legs Callan
Robert Guillaume … Ang Moz
Chuck Pfeiffer … Chuckie
Priscilla Allen … Stevie
Tony Leung Chiu Wai … Ping
Ziyi Zhang … Andrew Tong
Joe the Plumber … Biff Basness, PhD (ht @46)
Sarah Silverman … B. Lovin’
@44 – No, it really doesn’t.
http://blog.newsok.com/staticblog/files/2008/12/javier-bardem.jpg
-2StopShop
Too much pimples.
@62– Zoinks! Shaggy would not consider making a regressive career move.
-Shaggy’s Agent
tobias funke as greg michaels
asian girl from gilmore girls as EP
amanda drury as BL
Ed Norton as Hedge fund guy.
Danny Devito as Steve Schwartzman
Peter Scolari as Paul Tudor Jones
68,
“tobias funke as greg michaels”
NOT FUNNY.
-Greg
michael richards as william richards
@30
excuse me, you read the script? or do you mean you read the fake script written by ep?
No thought who will play themselves playing Jeff Beck playing himself?
My vote goes for Paul Tudor Jones.
martin lawrence as e stanley o’neal
martin lawrence as e stanley o’neal
@23 My kind of girl.