A new FA at GS is reportedly making an attempt to put down 8 pints of beer in an hour. The contestant is around 6 feet tall and the beer has to be at least 5% alcohol and light beers are excluded. Current market is 2:1 with over $3,000 in notional already on the line.
Update I: While this challenge appears pedestrian for those who test the limits of their liver regularly, DB has learned that the contestant has not had a drink in 18 months.
Update II/Final Results: In a heartbreaking ending, the new FA stumbled at the finish line and spat out his beer on the last sip- which was ruled a default by the judges.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 2:57PM
$3,000 at GS? Pikers.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Aug 05, 2009 2:57PM
an FA at GS?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 2:58PM
this is a joke right? anyone who's been to uni should be able to pull this one off...
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 2:59PM
"aroud"?
Back to PWOC please, Greg. Even 3 line posts are beyond you.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:00PM
Greg,
You really need to find yourself a woman.
-Grandpa
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:00PM
I would say easiest $3k the kid's ever made, but that doesn't seem to fit when talking about GS employees.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:01PM
@3 I fancy myself a booze hound, but I don't share your optimism. College case races aside - averaging a beer every six minutes? Remember, we're not talking that mexican piss water you call Natty Light. It has to be 5%+...think a bud heavy every six minutes.
Livers get ready...set....go!
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:02PM
"$3,000 in notional" ? really?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:03PM
What is notional?
Posted by Riskybusiness , Aug 05, 2009 3:03PM
Greg are you Bess' retarded step brother?
Please go write at Fashionista where the readers will be on your intellectual level.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:04PM
I could do this in 30 minutes, flat.
CG
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:04PM
This is weak! A guy on the nymex did 20 in an hour last week.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:04PM
6 bud heavy tall boys. if he does it, buy him a ticket to watkins glen this weekend.
Posted by highlyconfident , Aug 05, 2009 3:06PM
Not impressive. That's called a morning meeting in Carolina country.
-KL
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 05, 2009 3:06PM
where's greg's mom? I do love the "greggums, be a dear..." it makes my day. mom, please write.
always,
-source close to discussions
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:07PM
Oh I guess he took down 20 12 oz cans of bud light, not full pints. Oh well, you can't really compare an equities trader with a commodity trader, that would be like racing a donkey against a thoroughbred.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:07PM
8 pints in an hour? come on. anyone who had half a social life in college could do this without breaking a sweat.
seriously greg, help your own cause, spell check.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:08PM
damn thats easy i do that on a average day
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:09PM
This is basically a power hour- one shot of beer every one minute. it's not bad, but don't eat taco bell first
Posted by Formerly FEPWJ , Aug 05, 2009 3:09PM
This guy is a first year fresh out of college, this is no vending machine challenge type of accomplishment, certainly not db worthy...next
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:09PM
I really don't get how there was no mention of this nymex guy last weak. You are lacking real food bet info.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:10PM
Is he allowed to pee? I couldn't do it if it's not allowed (body size), but easily could (even with some real heavy beer--el toro nero oatmeal stout) if it is.
If he can't pee, then is a legit contest.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:11PM
Weak, a nymex trader put down 20 12 oz beers in an hour last friday. I believe 20K or so was on the line.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:12PM
once again donkey vs thoroughbred.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:13PM
to be clear, equity trader = donkey, nat gas / crude trader = thoroughbred . Cheers
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:14PM
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08032009/gossip/pagesix/not_my_face__not_my_job_182701.htm
FnF made the Post
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:15PM
Alcohol poisoning is deadly and tragic. Alcohol drinking games can get real stupid. People who want you to get out of control shit-faced may have another agenda. Duct tape your asshole if you are the contestant.
~A Voice of Reason Who Likes His Drinking As Much as Anyone But Doesn't Want to get Permanently Fucked Up as A Result.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:15PM
What is a walluh?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:16PM
I don't get it, whats the challenge? Are they warm? Did a bum spit in them first? Otherwise this just seems like happy hour.
Posted by Formerly FEPWJ , Aug 05, 2009 3:17PM
@22, valid point, can we get confirmation?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:19PM
Imperial or US?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:20PM
I already did this today. Twice.
Mrs. Blankfein
Posted by frankthetank , Aug 05, 2009 3:20PM
This is totally bush league. I could knock this out in 10 minutes.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:22PM
@28...it's "wallah" (Hindi) and it is a person who does a menial chore. A jizz mopper would be a "jizz wallah"; a CDS originator would be a "CDS wallah", a "chai wallah" is a tea server as in the movie Slumdog Millionaire. For example, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are conservative "bullshit wallahs". One might say the same of Olbermann in the other plane of political existance.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:23PM
You NYC guys are pansies. That's happy hour at the Front Porch.
JA
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 05, 2009 3:25PM
Pussyville Population: new FA at GS
-Guy who drinks Crown Royal like its his night job
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:28PM
BLANUS Walluh!
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:29PM
Greg,
I don't want you writing about alcohol anymore; it's such a nasty substance. I learned this the hard way when I got pregnant with you. To make matters worse, I didn't get my drinking under control until I was well into my third trimester. Good thing you turned out normal.
-Mom
P.S., I bought you some new rubber sheets, so you can go back to sleeping in your own bed.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:37PM
@38 FTW everytime! this might be your best work yet.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:37PM
No wonder why Wall Street is fucked. This is supposed to be a challenge and a tough one? Pussies.
GMAFB
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:37PM
Can someone at GS please compile a digital scrapbook of the proceedings set to Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping"? Thanks.
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 05, 2009 3:40PM
@38 - imposter! greg's real mom would have started with "greggums". and she would have said "would you pick up some rubber sheet on the way home (no comma) so you can go back to sleeping in your own bed, the dog is tired of sleeping outside."
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:41PM
Makes me look like a sucker... I got $50 for six beers in six minutes at our xmas party two years ago...
Posted by miami , Aug 05, 2009 3:42PM
For all you fratboys who think this is so trivial, why aren't you making a couple G a day at 2-1 odds off this?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:45PM
@44,
make me a market...
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:47PM
First rule of chugging contests: always drink Boddingtons. Nice and light, no fizz.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:48PM
@44, college kid here, everyone in our frat can do that with no sleep. please send details to DB of where you would like to challenge and we'll be sure to come take your money.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:51PM
@42 - Thank you, I thought something looked a little off about that post. God damn impostors. Its probably the BLANUS himself.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:55PM
#38 was a credible effort.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 3:55PM
Take my opinion with a grain of salt because my friends refer to me as an "alcoholic"...but I do that on a regular saturday...8 beers in an hour isn't really a challenge for just one hour.
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Aug 05, 2009 3:57PM
what a candy-ass "challenge" - any high school age Jones Beach counterman circa 1979 could have done that before 9 A.M.
Posted by NegativeConvexity , Aug 05, 2009 4:01PM
@38,
Keep up the excellent work! Brutal and hilarious as always, FTW!
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:04PM
@48
The "Greggums" Greg's mom is the real imposter. She always asks Greg to pick up Magnums on his way home, yet it's been documented that Miss Michaels will only go bareback.
-Unofficial Dealbreaker Ombudsman
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 05, 2009 4:07PM
@53 - ftw...
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 05, 2009 4:09PM
@53 - but standing by my imposter comment. where is greg's dad on all of this?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:09PM
This is such a fucking joke, I could take this down with a smile.
-Comfortably Smug
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:11PM
i'm not sure which is more pathetic, the fact that they think 8 beers in an hour is challenging, that they think 8 beers at 5% is a massive amount of alcohol, or that they could only come up with 3k.
fuck, i could down 4 in 10 minutes, wank for 40, then down the remainder.
for free.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:13PM
Greggums,
Mommy's labialplasty did not take as well as I hoped and are now dangling around my knees. Anyway don't worry, Leroy and Latrell are driving me to the hospital so you won't have to. (I didn't want to disturb you during your big week!) See you later, sweety!
Love,
Mom
ps: Dinner is up to you tonight, big guy. I know you can do it.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:16PM
OK. #58 is the real deal. The mention of a disturbing/gross surgical procedure confirms it.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:18PM
SHOTGUNCLOPS
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:18PM
with a funnel involved this could be done in 15min.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:21PM
An FA at GS? Drink 8 pints in an hour? I'm an FA at J.T. Marlin I have a keg of Icehouse under my desk that is more than half gone by the time I make my first cold call of the day. I'm 5'3", I belch foam all day, can kick the shit out of any GS pussy any day, and I don't even have a Napolean comlpex.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:29PM
If they had a mai-thai drinking contest, I'd kick some serious butt
- Jefferies SVP
Posted by sourceclosetodiscussions , Aug 05, 2009 4:30PM
@58 - thank you for (i) once again making my day; (ii) exposing @38; and (iii) proving to @49 and @52 that while greg may have two dads, he only has one mom!
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:31PM
just so we get this out of the way for the captains of finance:
8 pints =/= 8 beers.
8 pints = 16oz/pint = 128 oz * 1beer/12oz = 10.67 beers.
it's nearly 11 beers in 60 minutes.
5.5 minutes a beer. go.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:39PM
too drunk, didn't read
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:40PM
@65 - Just so we get this out of the way for the captains of booze:
8 pints = 8 x 0 = Nothing.
it's only 11 beers in 60 minutes.
5.5 minutes is plenty. go away.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:44PM
Seriously, I plan on doing 10 beers an hour for three hours at Saratoga this weekend. Anyone wanna start a kitty for me?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:44PM
pint glass in most bars is 12oz though
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:47PM
next: Edward 40 hands? eating a can of dip? longhorn tapping a cattle prod until you cry?
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 05, 2009 4:48PM
The voyeur in me is in overdrive. I now want to come watch this GS pussy attempt to down the pints as I suspect at some point beer is going to come shooting out of his nose.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 4:56PM
MCC would be on all fours slurping before the first drop hit the glass...
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:06PM
FA & GS. epic. fail.
BlackPoint
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:07PM
edward 40 hands....ah those were the days.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:09PM
an FA at GS... hahaha. Full of 'em last time I checked.
Good joke though
hat tip to Greg
Posted by FUNdamental , Aug 05, 2009 5:10PM
Ideally this would take place on stone st so there is a nice viewing area, and 200% more likely to fall on his ass while wobbling away in shame.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:10PM
Find the guy from Iowa on the floor. Set down a 6 pack of Bud Ice Silos (24oz cans) --- watch and learn.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:12PM
Does Lloyd B. walk into the bar and make people pay up in $5 increments?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:16PM
The question is whether puking means termination of the contest/loss. I recall many "century club" challenges in high school/college - this is 100 shots of beer doing 1 a minute for 100 minutes without puking. Lots of puke even among seasoned drinkers - and I went to undergrad at the #1 party school in the country 2 of the 5 (yes 5) years I was there, consistent top 5 and 1 national championship too.
Given that lots of people here seem to think this is super easy - I'm not convinced they know what they are talking about especially with >5% and dark beer. It's at least interesting. Hopefully someone gets a "chuck-in-action" photo with a nice stream going from mouth to can.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:26PM
@79 - They never specified dark beer, just not light beer. We're also not talking about your stupid century club, which we know is really just code for 'dude watchers club'.
Looks like you probably could've used 6 years in school.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:27PM
This FA at GS most probably gives BJs while getting DPed from his fellow GS FAs.
-James Pierpoint Morgan Chase and Company Financial Institutions Group Second Year Analyst
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:27PM
Everyone here is way-overestimating GS employees. Most of these guys (save for sales) have never talked to a woman other than their mother and those who have, droped a piece of their bonus to do it.
I say failure.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:33PM
@82
-several grammatical errors of note. First, "way-overestimating" should not be hyphenated. Second, "(save for sales)" should read "save sales." Lastly, a comma should be inserted before "and" and after "mother." Alternatively, you could begin a new sentence there.
-Iceman
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:37PM
Is the "FA" Asian? If so, is he one that has an alcohol processing enzyme deficiency? I'm one of those unfortunately, and I'm only half asian.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:46PM
That's less than 11 bottled beers...requires commitment but far from impossible.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 5:54PM
@79
I'd take Guiness over something lighter for this challenge any day. Darker beers are less carbonated on average.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 6:18PM
I do that every Friday night. What kind of pussy challenge is this?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 7:02PM
@Tax Chick - Do you have a voyeur in you? Do you want one?
@83 re: 82 - there is also a spelling error: "droped" should be "dropped"
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 05, 2009 7:27PM
@88 Voyeurs watch, they don't touch.
Posted by bateman , Aug 05, 2009 8:43PM
real contest would be 8 grams of white. pussies.
-LK
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 05, 2009 8:48PM
this is some seriously pussy shit, what the fuck, if I could find anyone dumb enough to put their $ against me I'd take this challenge no problem
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 05, 2009 8:52PM
AH, just saw the update, and can we get some clarification as to why the this dude hasn't drank in a year and a half?
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 9:00PM
@86,
Did a Guiness power hour with some college buddies b4 we all left for Europe. Easiest power hour I've done. Granted, our fat bartending neighbor threw up @ 25, and the rest of us were probably just psyched about the trip.
Fat kid fail was hilarious.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 9:04PM
#79, darker the beer, lower the alcohol content. Guinness is only 3.x%. Surprised they didn't teach you this at Beer U.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 9:27PM
@Tax Chick - touché!
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 9:35PM
@94. Obviously you haven't had any 8/9% dark belgian beer lately you fucking nancy.
Posted by The Dalai Lama Himself , Aug 05, 2009 9:43PM
8 pints of beer in an hour? We have name for that around here: Lunch.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 9:52PM
#97, I was speaking in generality. Calm yourself, buddy.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 11:11PM
Update: he finished everything in style, downing the last half pint one minute before the ending. Unfortunately, he got the last sip in the wrong throat, and had to spit it out. As the rules clearly said no spitting and puking, he was ruled to be the loser. Very unfortunate. Trading volume was high towards the end, everyone believing he would do it, but the market showed itself to be unpredictable.
Tough luck, he put in a very impressive performance!
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 05, 2009 11:25PM
Ah, the "wrong hole" excuse...
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:07AM
That's what told my MD, it was the wrong hole.
-Bear Equities Trader, 5th Floor Men's Bathroom, Stall 3.
Posted by guest , Aug 07, 2009 11:47AM
HE HASN'T HAD A DRINK IN 18 MONTHS AND HE STILL GOT THIS FAR?!
GOOD HEAVENS! YOU ARE A COMPLETE LEDGEND FA! I APPLAUD YOU!