The following anecdote is from a new profile in Vanity Fair by Todd Purdum, who sat down with the former Treasury Secretary at various points throughout his term.
Paulson paused. “Now let me … I’ll be there in one minute … Let me just make a … I have been, you know … I finished this thing on Thursday night, flew over to Tokyo, flew back, and–”
And with that Paulson ducked into the private bathroom adjoining his office, closed the big paneled door, and audibly, violently, and repeatedly threw up. He emerged a moment later as if nothing had happened, but in a few minutes he did the same thing all over again. I asked if he wouldn’t rather stop, and resume our conversation another time. “That’s O.K.,” he said. “I’m just going to go through this all. I won’t remember it. You know, I barely remember the details now.”
If you had to put your finger on it– or down your throat– what would you guess induced the audible vomiting scene above?
a. The Bald had recently completed a REAL vending machine contest, and as he is not a pussy, did so in a matter of thirty minutes, making the upchuck understandable, though regrettable nonetheless.
b. Bernanke had just asked his bro to “check out this growth and tell me if you think I should be worried.”
c. He’d gotten wind of a sick rumor going around that this year’s Goldman alumni mixer would not include the much-loved tea-bagging of passed out Lehman executives booth.
d. He was feeling fat.
e. In a horribly misguided attempt to ingratiate himself to the Secretary, Ken Lewis had sent HP shots of himself in various states of undress on the BAC trading floor.
f. Same as above but swap CG for KL, and drape some Italian deli meats across his loins.
g. your call.
He looks like he purges
He just read the script for the “Jerry” pilot.
those were supposed to be kept on the DL!!!!
Since he just got back from Tokyo I’d say
e. too much bukkake
@4 agreed, though that’s all I can say at this time.
g. I’d just cum in his mouth.
re: f, nudie shots of my ripped pecs induce boners, not vomit.
@6 ew
6FTW…game over man
He just saw the trailer to Wall Street Part Deux?
Maybe his drug dealer cold called him out of the blue to see if he wanted to buy some blow and he forgot he was on speaker.
he’d just seen sue’s “herraras”
he was sprayed by the blue fuel
he saw nudie pics of me
-ruthie “giant puss lips” madoff
I’m with @4. makes the most sense, knowing what we know.
How is this even possible:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8230397.stm
I thought all these guys went through life with permanent, explosive, diarrhea. If anything the toilets should be overflowing with runny liquid waste. What do I know …
He just got a text from Sheryl Weinstein that she was going to go public with the fact that he had a penis that could easily fit into a Tic Tac container.
I can’t decide if it’s 4, 6 or 17. all very possible.
Wheeew!
CALLING THE RECEIPT GUY: please provide an itemized receipt of Hank’s spending immediately prior to the incident. Did he attempt the epic “How to Goldplate Anything” and got sick?
if it was pre-LEH, then, my guess is their CFO called with an indecent proposal…
Finally! Something I understand! OK – here goes:
He obviously got sick because, while in Tokyo, Hank came to the aide of Godzilla in his epic battle with Megalon. Godzilla Paulson was, of course, victorious. However the cosmic rays Hank endured have caused him to develop cancer of the sarcophagus, a side effect of which is vomiting.
If any of you retards had ever been to med school, like ME, instead of bringing this country to ruin with your scandalous banker ways, you’d know that.
– Mark Klein, MD
His secretary rang, and told him he she just booked a dinner meeting with CG. Then Henry began puking.
“cancer of the sarcophagus”
nice touch
I’ll have to take option g for $100, Bess.
What Todd didn’t know is that Big Bald was hangin’ with KL.
Well, they were talking about the good times, suckin down some ‘Boone’s, and laughing about how the beard tried to put the big hurt on KL about the whole MS thing. And, then, fuck, KL just had to bring up JT and the whole bonus fiasco, and the next thing you know they are shooting tequila shots out of that expensive porta potty thing that JT just had to have.
Thus the money shot quote to Todd “I won’t remember it. You know, I barely remember the details now.”
A not so sneak peak at Sheryl W’s vag
Bess, you always know how to make me smile.
Remember that scene from Kingpin, with Munson and his landlord?
Imagine what the Bald had to do to Nancy Pelosi to get that TARP passed…
@16- what’s with putting a totally unrelated link in the comments? Nobody gives a shit what you happen to have clicked on 20 seconds ago.
Don’t feel too horrible- there seem to be a fistful of fellow travelling morons who decide they want to change the subject randomly to whatever happened to show up in their inbox from their mom.
Everyone reading this site has internet access. Nobody needs you to provide your personal “best links I saw today” report.
e AND f
I was going to say pasta primevera but #2 was already there
@28 VERRY FUNNY!
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