We’re still working out the aesthetics but circa tomorrow, you will be able to purchase an HB for TF’ing on the following items:
* beer mug
* beer stein
* business cards
* polo shirt (sans tits)
* hat
* mouse pad
* magnet
* fleece (no t’s)
* neck tie (no t’s)
* postage stamp
* t shirt (with tits)
* t shirt (no t’s)
* tote bag
* coffee mug,
* poster
* skateboard,
* BBQ apron
Update:
* key chain
* Keds
* Bumper sticker
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I’ll trade you ten SAC fleeces for on HCP.
-stever
how about an HB cum cloth? gotta have that.
tee MUST have a pocket.
I’m SOOO buying the apron for my chef.
Can’t wait to order all of this useless shit. I’ve never had so much company pride in my life.
@2…Color me “interested”.
J. Epstein
hell while we are at it, lets just through a HB annual meeting at the pierre…same day as apollo.
Howdy folks! My name is Ethel Burgess. I am a retiree living with my husband Frank just outside Pompano Beach Florida. Last weekend I decided to take my financial well-being into my own hands and do my own research on the internet.
Well, I found this Wall Street blog named Dealbreaking to learn all about money stuff. It wasn’t what I expected, to say the least. Evidently, these are the lessons that I should be cognizant of:
• Members of this forum are apparently starting a hedge fund, but have yet to agree on their logo and mission statement
• Hormone pills are all the rage in Stamford, Connecticut; I will avoid going there
• Beware of a strange Muppet named Dennis who does bad things to innocent collie dogs
• That horrible Madoff man had an affair and the only food he fed his mistress was small wieners
• Greg Michaels is a hard-hitting journalist who focuses on the serious topics at Dealbreaking. I think he is the leader there. Also, he is a great family boy, always keeping in touch with his Mom.
• I don’t know about CFA vs MBA, but AARP gets me the best discounts
• Boone’s wine is what CEO’s like to drink; I will buy some for my Frank
• UBS sucks!
I am going to stop typing now as my arthritic fingers have seized up.
I want a HB panty or I’m not going to be happy.
-SAC sister
World of Warcraft is advertising on DB?? Is there a connection?
Graphic logo:
http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/4789/handbridgelogopic3sm.jpg
large/hi-res available for a fleece in return.
What about business cards?
What happened to the real gossip? This TF and HBC is getting old, REAL fast.
You even managed to miss Marcus’s story.
@12 business cards can be done.
Now, would that be something you might be interested in?
@8… although I’m writing this, speechless. Bravo
@11 – strong!
No beer bong signed by Gaspo? WTF?
sweet, now I can get all my Christmas shopping done. I know Mom’s gonna love the tote bag.
@naked yes, biz cards are a must
You are perfectly welcome to place the HB logo on the latex molds of my anus I am having made.
Dennis Kneale
Can’t wait to see the pitchbook!
A skateboard?
Where’s the @#$*in’ Zubaz?
–You Know Who
Tube top….so 90′s
\./–\./
Christy Canyon
@19
Can’t wait till next FMF when people actual show up with Handbridge business cards to get in.
“Where you can get a handbridge . . .”
I was hoping for so much more.
What about a HBC push up bra that you wear over your shirt, with gloves attached at the appropriate places? I think there is a clever subtlety to that
@25 no one who works at HCP would ever go to FMF, which is for plebes.
I cannot wait to punish my traps and torture my biceps in one of those extra small t’s. Gimme some a’dat!
CG
YouKnowWho@23 “Where’s the @#$*in’ Zubaz?”
For you, I tried to get them but no go. However there is a possibility of Umbros. Send me a message if there’s interest.
Someone from Handbridge is going to have to police FMF for fakers. Image and reputation matter.
Anybody know Duncan Neidermayer? From what I’ve seen there are plenty of bell-ringing slots open/negotiable at the NYSE this fall. I think it would be good PR for Handbridge. Who do you blow, or what do you pay for that privilege?
Female condoms????
Congrats Bess, you’re officially in the shmatta business.
I just got off the phone with the sales rep at Crocs and she was being a total douche nugget.
I was trying to see if I could get Handbridge Capitial on a pair of white Crocs, we can but she said I would have to order at least 500 pairs.
I know Crocs are really trendy and cool right now but still was nervous making such a sizeable investment.
Bess-
What kind of tote bag are we talking about? I really want a GS/ML style gym bag, with the logo ribbon around it near the ends. Can we make that happen?
MARK: “Okay the opening bell is set to ring in, ah, 10 seconds. At the NYSE, Handbridge Capital Partners. Says here ‘Structured assets, explosive returns,’ whatever that means.”
ERIN: “Huh, Handbridge. Never heard of that.”
HBC – Where tugboating is part of the operational due diligence.
@Naked- I’m a fan of all you’ve done, and was plesantly surprised to find this little gem:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=handbridge
we are headed down a dangerous path if this all materializes in actual stuff. we’re next going to have to participate in some sort of event sponsorship and maybe even a holiday party… i fear the freak show
@naked
I like how the Biz Card would read/look:
Anal_yst
Handbridge Capital Partners, LLC
Can we get some biker style T’s where there are holes for the tits that just flop out for the ladies?
I would like the following business card:
Turd I. Ferguson, CPA>CFA>MBA
Managing Director
Just the Tip Multi Strat Group
375 Park Avenue
New York, NY
10022
P:(212) 902-5402
F:(212) 902-5405
turn.ferguson@hbcap.com
nothing sleeveless?
C to the mutha fuckin G
Color me interested for the business cards as well
I’m no artist, but here’s two more statistical/quant-y takes on a HB logo.
http://img443.imageshack.us/i/hbcapital.png/
http://img257.imageshack.us/i/hbcapital2.png/
Why don’t we just actually start this fund?
Handbridge Capital Partners, LLC, now looking for financing. Raise maybe $250mm, then grow from there.
@39 No worries, mate. Funding for the sponsorhips, events, and most importantly the dedication of fine arts buildings on university campuses and healthcare research institutes around the country, not to mention filthy email exchanges and underage Belarussian sex slaves, all comes from the investors. There’s nothing out of pocket.
bess, who is 23/you know who?
Add to the above a slogan idea: “To the power of two!”
@Naked – how about a plug for HBC from Melissa Francis….
@47 = GM
This is the best I could do on the business cards. If you dont like it blow me. Never in a million years did I think I would spend an entire night designing jerk off joke products. Oh wait yes I did.
http://www.zazzle.com/cr/design/pt-profilecard?clone=true&dz=b3f83d85-7672-4c27-b355-d457fdac3b14&pending=true&view=business_front_horz
@46 oh good! i was nervous there for a second.
-39
I’d give our fund 5 days before we’re headlining the NY Post and Daily News
There may be some “Handbridge” swag out there already:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handbridge
@36: excellent!
In terms of business cards, I was thinking more along these lines:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoIvd3zzu4Y
Smooches!
@53 all we need is a press release stating HBC exceeded its first target and announces a massive bonus.
I was afraid this had stalled and threw this one together… I would wear this with my kids around…
http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/9075/handbridgecapital.jpg
This.is.awesome. @Naked, thank you for getting me through an otherwise depressing week!
Also, once we get this graphic finalized we can start leaking “tips” to the Financial Press.
If we can get some $ together I might be able to find some time to get a basic website up soon, too, ya’ know, to give it some Vayner-esque credibility.
Where do I submit my resume for Chief Pharmacology Officer?
31 – You don’t pay for it, it’s PR. Handbridge can do an opening bell in honor of its launch (pun intended).
@2 – HB Sham WOW
Stevie Cohen made Page 6 today for flipping out outside 1 Oak last night because Dick Fitzwell and a couple other hot shots from Handbridge requested he not be let in. Those guys are big.
Can anyone help out w/ a link to the old Bear Stearns pic with a $2 bill taped to the entrance?
@63 haha
@64 http://dealbreaker.com/2008/03/tender-offer.php
I just registered HandbridgeCapital.com
(handbridge.com was taken)
Available to use as you all see fit.
Bess, Naked or Anal_yst, reach me at hamlinsg@yahoo.com
@Naked & Bess,
better make sure you secure a website. The guys at Hbcap.com may not like the overload on their site once everyone starts going on.
Its hibridge capital, seems like the stole the name to begin with from Highbridge. 2 no name wanna be bankers.
Does anyone here like those little gumball football helmets you used to be able to get in the quarter machines as a kid?
I just heard on CNN that a Swiss flagged ship carrying $1.77 billion dollars in cash from a UBS bank account owned by HBC headed for the Bahamas was attacked by Pirates off the East Coast of Africa.
@Naked/69: I do! They’re the perfect size for shoving up collie’s asses.
–You Know Who
@66
Thank you. It is people like you who make the world go ’round.
-64/Kevin Spacey in Pay it Forward
Someone needs to CapIQ this shit ASAP.
Would it fit on a thong?
-Pfluger
wow. talk about beating a dead horse. joke will be over by the time any of you retards will be wearing any of this stuff
Wish I had added a motto:
“Adding Structure to the Asset Light Model”
Woaahh @ 69, YES. Had one for almost every team in the NFL when I was a young boy, which I would buy from a Shaws Supermarket when food shopping with my parents. If this post doesn’t make it abundantly clear, I’m relatively young.
-64/Spacey/Young Gumball
Wish I had added a motto:
“Adding Structure to the Asset Light Model”
@77 ect I am trying to get some football gear. HCP has decided to sponser a football team. The Handbridgers
@75 why so bitter bitch?
I wonder if we can gain ownership of a team in the new United Football League. The Hartford Handbridgers!!! Our team will suck but we’ll have the sluttiest cheerleaders. Maybe Plax can play for us when he gets out of the joint…
@77/Nakey,
Given their success in the athletic apparel space over the past few years, we may consider approaching Underarmour about designing/sponsoring some of the HCP gear- I always like UA-designed uniforms better than the stuff their competitors outfit college football/lacrosse teams in…
to all- for the sake of consistency can we establish that ‘HCP’, rather than ‘HBP’, will be the shorthand of choice here? Since there is no word in the firm name that starts with a ‘B,’ I know that I will cringe if I am forced to read references to ‘hbp’ over the course of the coming days/weeks/months/however long we stick it out with this one, and that’s something I would be happy to avoid. I do enough cringing as is..
-64/Spacey/YG
Anybody want to dress up as a collie furry and allow me to fist them later? I’ll bring the Zima and the amyl nitrate.
Dennis Kneale
Naked will officially secure his position in the lexical pantheon when WB uses “handbridge” in one of his dirty metaphors for the economy.
The entity name “HandBridge Capital Partners, LLC” is available in Delaware if we want to form this thing.
- Future HCP General Counsel
@76 FTW
where are the croakies on this list?
@82 – i take issue with the rush to choose HCP… what’s wrong with HandCap? Has a nice ring and it actually approximates a HB. Thoughts?
@88 here’s my thought: go fuck yourself!
-82
Make the key chain a beer bottle opener as well
@88 – Not certain what just bit 88/64/Spacey/YG in the ass. But I think HandCap has two problems… 1) too close to BarCap and 2) too close to handicap.
HandCap over HCP all day
Where is my frozen semen pop sickle?
BF
@89 if we could get some pics of AD, then i would be delighted. in the meantime, your TLTR posts are ruining my day – go dress your teddy bear in UA briefs and get your PF on so you can relax…
- 88
@90 no can do; already tried.
@94 ect With a name as glourious as Handbridge Capital Partners we shouldnt have to shorten shit. If our prime brokers dont want to call us Handbridge Capital Parters they can call us Handbridge for short, anything shorter and we pull our “flow”.
http://www.HandBridgeCapital.com
@67 – just checked out the website- looks good! Need to get some ‘About Us’, ‘Mission Statement’, ‘Strategies’, and ‘Investor Relations’ links up there.
Also @67 – please add the following slogan to the site(not mine, but definitely the best thrown out there): “Leveraged Mid-Caps for Large Endowments”
-97
Imagine the possibilities for college recruiting visits…
@88/tax/94, 89 was not me.
@88 only. I am not married to HCP, I am just married to NOT using HBP.
@89 clean it up.
-the real 82/spacey/yg
@100 Sorry, am sometimes urged to instigate fights on message boards.
89
@100 – best defense against imposters is to register. But even that doesn’t stop the wingnuts from trying.
why no sleeveless shirt? i need to represent on the beach
@103 cut ‘em off yourself like a real man.
-cg
@96 – Looking good
For the ‘History’ section, maybe a series of links going back to all the previous DB articles/comments concerning HCP?
“On July 2nd, 2009, Ms. Amanda Drury of the Consumer News and Business Channel made a shocking ‘revelation.’ The news quickly sparked intense discussion throughout the highest echelons of the financial world, which would one day lead to the formation of Handbridge Capital Partners.
An investment professional, known only as NakedShort, quickly realized the import of the information and questioned the prevailing wisdom of the day.
Concerning Ms. Drury’s revelation one as-of-yet unknown professional noted, “The high collar says I’m a sophisticated lady,’ but the low cut screams ‘put it between the bags.’”
Mr. Short countered “You think theyre [sic] big enough to TF? Looks like she might need to use the handbridge.”
Thus began the long and illustrious history of Handbridge Capital Partners….”
_______________________________________________________
Or something like that, there’s more you could do with it I suppose….
Wow I may hafta fire up macromedia studio (or whatever they call it these days) and dust off some very rusty web design skillz for this one
btw @ highlyconfident/99
shotgun (no blitz) on Chief Recruiting Officer/SVP Human Relations
Amanda is even more incredible than we could ever imagine….
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid14146764001?bctid=34725147001
@107. Download wordpress (or gasp! movable type [db uses this]). Simple to use, there’s tons of “business” themes. 100x easier than writing the pages from scratch, not to mention will look much better too.
@109
I used MT for The Atlantic and have used (gasp!) blogger and typepad for other blogs so I know what you’re sayin, was more indicating flash/fireworks graphics and less layout, but you’re right, I really don’t want to put that much effort into it.
@108 OMG,spectacular cleave; no hand bridge necessary (just a gentle side squeeze)
The HB is beautiful thing. My research has shown that girls with small tits fuck harder than girls with large tits.
For your consideration:
Less offensive graphic logos for the mass marketing of Handbridge
http://img34.imageshack.us/i/handbridge1.jpg/
http://img16.imageshack.us/i/handbridge2.jpg/
@113
1st one is pretty damn good (albeit a bit too mainstream/non-finance-ish), 2nd one would look good on the bottom of a skateboard, but that’d be lowering Handbridge to a level we don’t wanna stoop to, or something
@113
These are good. At least you could wear them around town without looking like a skeeve.
from wiki:
Handbridge is a district of Chester, England on the south bank of the River Dee.
wtf?…if it’s on the south side of the river D, it shouldn’t need a handbridge.
I admit am retard.. could you please explain to me what is
Handbridge?
How about life size blow up male/female HB mannequin with a face of your favorite person?
Keds?!?!