Two things are troubling in Charlie Gasparino’s latest story on Goldman Sachs, which has apparently been freaking out over how it’s going to manage the 85 Broad haters come bonus season, when Lloyd Blankfein is expected to make it rain golden showers. The first is that you might get the mistaken impression Chaz is an anti-Semite. This could not be further from the truth. Charlie loves Jews. Some of his best friends are Macabis and since I’ve known him he always takes the time to inquire “how the dreidel spinnin’s goin’, Heeb girl” come December. So please, people e-mailing us, get off CG’s ass for the description of current Goldman management below.
People inside Goldman tell me that some senior executives say they believe the onslaught of negative stories detailing Goldman’s manifold ties to upper levels of government, charges that it somehow fraudulently profited from the subprime crisis, and now the press about the firm’s record earnings is so out of proportion to reality that the coverage contains an element of anti-Semitism–subtly playing off the racist myth of a conspiracy of Jewish bankers controlling the world for their own benefit. (Goldman was founded by a Jewish immigrant, and after years of being run by Gentiles Jon Corzine and Hank Paulson, is once again run by a Jew, Lloyd Blankfein.)
The second issue we’re working through this morning is who the goddamn fuck has been running his mouth re: Lloyd Blankfein’s looks?
…one thing government bureaucrats don’t like is bad publicity, even if it’s in fringe media publications.
That’s why Goldman has been looking for months for the right person to fill the job of “brand manager.” It’s the reason senior executives at the firm meet almost daily on how to repair the firm’s image. It’s the reason Blankfein “looks like shit,” according to one Wall Street CEO who considers himself a friend of the Goldman CEO.
It shouldn’t be too hard to narrow this down (loose lips Lewis is a strong contender), at which time we can go confront the chump, and demand he say it to LB’s face. Let’s see how tough he is in the presence of a fishnet bodysuit.
Vikram
LB looks so regal in that pic
i love charlie’s sources
canadar! chinar! Jennifar!
Seriously, though, Ken Lee … (tu libu dibu da bu).
OMG Druries!
Lloyd,
Don’t shy away from me. I always win in the end.
-Fishnets & Cigarettes
definitely jamie dimon. it sounds like him, and they’re friends.
vikram, you bitch.
“a jew”
keep it classy cg
Oh, shut up 8.
I’m a lower-case jew, and I’m okay with myself. Fuck off, soft wrist.
@9 you’re a self-loathing jew
George: …and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied
government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white
minority communities.
Jerry: You’re not going to open with that, are you?
Eva: What was that you said about the myth of the Holocaust?
George: I said so many things.
@8 – jew here, stfu. if nothing else we have always been able to laugh at ourselves. The one’s that can’t? Well every religion has crazies….
Lloyd
I distinctly heard it. He muttered
under his breath, “Jew.”
BL
You’re crazy!
Lloyd
No, I’m not. We were walking off the
tennis court, and you know, he was
there and me and his wife, and he
looked at her and then they both
looked at me, and under his breath
he said, “Jew.”
BL
Lloyd, you’re a total paranoid.
Lloyd
Wh- How am I a paran-? Well, I pick
up on those kind o’ things. You know,
I was having lunch with some guys
from NBC, so I said… uh, “Did you
eat yet or what?” and Charlie Gasparino
said, “No, didchoo?” Not, did you,
didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you
eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it?
Jew eat?
that picture made it move.
@14 same
-trannie banker
10,
You’re right, of course. So self-loathing, in fact, I’m going to buy a diamond encrusted 9mm come bonus season, and blow my worthless body to hell.
Please step away from your self-righteousness.
Those fishnets never get old.
13,
Non-sequitur, but: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHuNNslDowU
-9
I’m sephardic. suck on my prestige
@18 i prefer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYNrWKEEzn4&feature=related
@13
Reminds me of Ben Stein on the Opie & Anthony show back in the day
O/A: “…we’re going to chew (very clearly) them down…”
Stein: “Did you just say you’re going to JEW them down?”
O/A: “WTF? Ben, we said CHEW you retard, stop being so paranoid!”
Stein: *throws nancy jew-fit and hangs up*
Did anyone else know CG was nominated for a Pulitzer? No shit.
Pretty sure B. Levin = one fine-looking Jew
@22 of course I knew, i furiously masturbate to the press release every morning.
-cg
That pic is starting to piss me off.
~Oscar DLH
You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
Dennis Kneale
“You see – now THAT is a handsome man”
- G. Costanza
August 21, 2009
Hot Fishin’ Fishnet Apparel
621 Foulhook Lane
Gloucester, MA 01930
Dear Mr. Gasparino:
Thank you for your inquiry pertaining to sizes and availability of our mens fishnet body suits.
After perusing your letter, we determined that you would probably like to order our “Deadliest Catch” model which includes the “crotchal” gap (as you referred to it in your letter) to allow for “dumping the catch” at a moments notice. Also, we think you’d be pleased with our “Chum Line” model that is constructed of 90 guage fishing line and has its own “stink bait” pouch.
Please review our complimentary catalogue and remember that we are making deliveries near 85 Broad in NYC frequently. Shipping is no problem.
Sincerely,
Caesar Snapper, CEO
Hot Fishin’ Fishnet Apparel
Does anyone else think Karen Finerman could suck-start a leaf blower?
No? Just me? OK then.
Nobody guessed John Thain. He and John Thain are buddies, too, or so I’m told.
-Not John Thain
@29, thank you for bringing her up. I hope it wasn’t in jest.
K Fin doesn’t get enough face time. Could give Erin and Trish a run for their dirty, dirty money.
That picture will never get old.
28 is amazing.
Brand manager? I just sent this guy over. He’s perfect.
http://dealbreaker.com/2009/07/someone-is-not-happy-with-deut.php
Would somebody at CNBC please, please, please hire Robin Meade away from HLN? Please??????
BBF – It wasn’t in jest. I never jest when it comes to leaf blowers.
-29
Hey Charlie, you crazy wop. You are NOT going to get hired at DB. Go slam your punching bag, you laughable clown….
ah, the anti-semite card. i was wondering when that was going to be played.
i wish the jews would spread the love—i don’t understand why i can’t accuse people of anti-semitism whenever they give me shit i can’t handle.
oh, and i’m kurdish so if you mention “genocide” i’ll shit down your pathetic throat.
You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken.
- Lloyd Blankfein
kurd@38 take it easy
Speaking of boxing, FYI I used to be a golden gloves prospect.
–CG
@41 haha
Doooong, where is my automobile?
@6 Cool James would’ve said it for attribution. That’s how he rolls.
I assume you are joking about Corzine and Paulson being Gentiles? wtf?
@45 uh, a gentile is someone who is not a jew, so no, he’s not joking, as corzine and paulson are not jews.
@46, I realize that…I thought Paulson was a jew, Corzine I don’t know much about.
Live on CNBC, the Italian Stallion waving his arms wildly, looking like he hasn’t shaved in a week, and “tawking” about how he is “one of da guys beatin’ up on Goldman.”
Hysterical!
-Pfluger
@48 are you fucking kidding? you thought paulson was jewish?
Fantastic, CG is now going after the bloggers!!! Again!!!! Says they’re “lousy.”
Kick ass, Charlie!!!!
-Pfluger
I can’t help it, I love that fuckin’ jamoke….
@45 Christian Scientist, UCC
Damn, they could barely get Gaspo off the air. I think they had to cut his mike. I hope Bess covers that interview. Charlie the Prize Fighter at his finest.
@49 Oh my god I’m so sorry for being wrong…douchebag
@54:
Lemme tell ya sumthin: In dis biz, you neva, eva, tell anybody you’re fuckin’ sorry, eva. Got it, pal?
CG
@55 ten 4
Paulson, you zeptards, is, famously, a Christian Scientist. Corzine is, less famously, part of the United Church of Christ. Blankfein is of course Hindu.
–Vijay Jay