The chair of the European Parliament's Economic and Monetary Affairs Committee spoke at a derivatives conference in London today and, as you'd expect, anybody who is head gatekeeper for derivatives legislation in Europe added more fuel to the derivatives vilification campaign.
"They [OTC derivatives] were not a major factor in the crisis although, of course, a lot of politicians had worried they might be a cause of a crisis for quite a long time," said Sharon Bowles, whose committee is responsible for passing any new European Union rules on derivatives.
Wait a second! OTC derivatives were not a major factor in the crisis?! Maybe it's just a case of British sarcasm not coming through very well on paper. Did she not tune into the Congressional panels filled with experts who explained once and for all that derivatives do nothing but cause destruction? Ask the Oracle. He'll tell you what bespoke derivatives can do. But maybe that was just a slip up on her part. Please continue Sharon.
"Where bespoke OTC products are retained and needed then it seems there should be proper analysis to see what risk those pose rather than make a blanket assumption concerning their risk and penalize them all," she said.
In the words of Al Michaels, "Do you believe in miracles? YES!"
EU Econ Committee: Derivatives Not Big Factor In Crisis [WSJ]
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 3:54PM
Nooooooo!
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 24, 2009 3:59PM
Greg,
I am going to invest your retirement savings in a basket of mediocre mutual funds with high internal expenses. Over the ensuing decades these costs will steathly eat away at your nest egg.
-Jeff Macke
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:00PM
I just seized
Posted by pfluger , Sep 24, 2009 4:03PM
Can someone explain to me what these derivatives are? I failed calculus as a freshman, so I became a financial journalist.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:07PM
@4/cg
When did youse start speakin da queens english?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:07PM
I suggest Bess replace Greg with Dennis Kneale. All in favor?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:11PM
@6/DK
as much as Greg is hated you think you're any better? I thought you hated "digital dickweed" bloggers???
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:13PM
Greg -
Every time you post, I get upset. In my stomach. So stop it.
Jeffery Dahmer.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:14PM
My favorite sexual position is the double diagonal strangle swap.
DK
Posted by pfluger , Sep 24, 2009 4:16PM
@5
I had sumbuddy write dat comment for me, cuz my comments upset some figlio di puttanas da otha day, da pussies.... Dey don't like da way I tawk American. Dare awl jealous of my greatness.
-cg
(puttana f. (vulgar) whore; figlio di puttana son of a bitch)
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:24PM
@9/dk mine is the straddle-strangle. Wanna play?
A. DeSalvo
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:24PM
We need a miracle to make Greg go away and never post again.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:24PM
Future Energy Transfer "Ship Channel" basis trader?
http://www.break.com/index/clemson-fan-acts-like-baby-after-loss.html
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Sep 24, 2009 4:34PM
Wow, and to think I was concerned this site was going to shit a few months back. The quality, originality and humor of the DB commentariat continues to impress like a couple of fifth-grade retards having a knock down drag out during recess.
Here, I’ll write the majority of tomorrow's comments a day in advance (since they typically have nothing to do with the posts):
Sue Herrera's tits are so big they make me want to pound my secretary in the ass like Dennis Kneale's collie while Lenny Dysktra’s bankrupt jib looks on smoking some of Jimmy Cayne's weed and drinking KL's moonshine while wearing one of CG's sleeveless shirts as he beats the shit of Michael Moore for being fat and eating everything in sight, but I couldn't make the numbers work because I'm a stupid Lehman Quant...so instead I'm just going to sit here and look regal like LB (who I worship) while making fun of Greg Michael's mom getting fucked by the dollar dominatrix and a bunch of black guys as I jerk of to the CNBC eye candy and try desperately to bait Bess into validating my self-worth by acknowledging this post. Hopefully Hank Paulson doesn’t beat the shit out of me for criticizing the beard like I’m Jim Cramer. He should save that for Maxine Water’s and her CEO. BLANUS, is EP, and if you don’t like it you can S my D because I’m not down with the HB unless you’re hot as Amanda Drury in which case I’ll hit dat quicker than a Mexican coke shark. D-rat doesn't understand car people...who's John Gault?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:41PM
This is like chapter three of an Agatha Christie novel. If it wasn't derivatives, whodunnit?
Literary, humourous, pointed. My comment, not the post.
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 24, 2009 4:42PM
How were the nuptuals Headless?
Posted by MarshallStack , Sep 24, 2009 4:43PM
@14 -
Did you send me an email about a Nigerian fortune that I may be eligible to receive?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:44PM
@HH
Dat's good.
cg
Posted by Slow fifth grade learner , Sep 24, 2009 4:47PM
@14 Uncalled for
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Sep 24, 2009 4:51PM
@ NakedShort
Everything went well. The wedding and reception were fantastic.
Back from Maui two days ago and I'm about as relaxed as I've ever been (my last rant notwithstanding). My wife and I consummated the marriage on just about every nude beach, hotel balcony, and remote roadside parking spot we found...and even incorporated another couple and a few other women and various points to spice things up a bit. Unfortunately, the jet lag is setting in and I'm staring at two weeks worth of tedious crap on my desk. Thanks for asking.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:51PM
@14 You forgot Glen Beck.
Twat.
Posted by pfluger , Sep 24, 2009 4:52PM
@18:
It wuz damned good da way he did dat. I ex-specially liked da part about da fights during recess.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:54PM
@14 - her name is spelled "Sue Herera", and no one wants to see her tits
Posted by call_me_daddy , Sep 24, 2009 4:54PM
@10 how about you take a lesson in spell check? while you're at in, throw in a pepperoni calzone for me while i give your mother a taste of Jerusalem with my honkin' kielbasa.
mozel tov motherfucker
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 4:59PM
@HH
So your saying that most DB comments are just incoherent deranged babbling? Do we read the same sight?
BTW you forgot the whole Jeff Macke-doing-something-mildy-annoying-to-greg bit as well.
Posted by pfluger , Sep 24, 2009 5:03PM
@24:
You tawk about my mudda dat way, you caccazote. Dat's fuckin' low, even for a mozel tuv mothafuckin moron. Choke on yer fuckin' ham and cheese sammy, while you're "in it".
-cg
Posted by J. , Sep 24, 2009 5:05PM
Hey, there was totes a bomb scare in front of BNY Mellon. All of Broadway was shut down...where's the coverage?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 5:06PM
HH, return to LSO you back orifice monkey.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 5:11PM
HH: Hey buddy I know how you feel. Extenze didn't work for me either. Even at work.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 5:15PM
HH is a fine reason why there can't be any such thing as intelligent design.
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Sep 24, 2009 5:38PM
@30
I'll assume you're referring to the fact that I'm a hedonistic atheist that's too intelligent to subscribe to religion.
Rent Bill Maher's "Religulous" (but be prepared to feel a lot of remorse for all the institutionalized child sodomy that you presumably endured while growing up...because you'll likely come away realizing there's no heaven and no hell, just a bunch of dirt). I don't typically deputize Bill Maher into my arguments, but he covers quite a bit of ground in about 90 minutes, and besides; it doesn't take a Nobel to make religion look stupid.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 5:49PM
@27 Who gives a f*ck about BONY?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 5:50PM
@hh
Maher just points out that religion has hypocrites. So does every other cultural movement. I honestly fell asleep as he just basically rehashed all the blabbering he does on his show. He just as much a hypocrite as those jesus camp people are in his own way.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:13PM
Is Al Michaels related to Greg?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:20PM
@ all the HHs, has it gotten to the point where you are wistful for the pithiness of TGFD?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:27PM
TGFD too thinks this place has really degenerated of late, and it's one reason I haven't posted for awhile.
I don't believe that even one of the comments from you clowns was about OTC derivatives, which BTW should be regulated into extinction by 50 different state insurance commissioners.
HowTF did anyone ever survive before the advent of OTC derivatives anyway?
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:29PM
@36 the comments have been on a winning streak for the last couple months. you have not been missed.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:34PM
@23 -
I will take a peek at Sue's fun bags any time. Tit's are like bj's. Always good. Sometimes great.
CG
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 6:36PM
Guest@#37...
TGFD doesn't give a shit about what you think.
FYI, I didn't respond to #35. I was writing my message when 35 posted. Never saw it till afterwards.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 24, 2009 6:48PM
@ TGFD
OTC Derivatives, just like any instrument, do have their proper uses, but just like a sledgehammer - useful for chores for which it was designed - when abused/misused, the carnage can be catastrophic.
Don't blame the instrument, blame he who abuses it.
Better?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 7:06PM
No serious person would cite Bill Maher in support of a serious proposition. You can do better than that.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 7:07PM
Anal_Yst@#40...
TGFD thinks your approach is too idealistic.
Has not the abuse of those f'n things been standard practice?
Their regulation as an insurance product with ownership of them limited to only those with 'skin in that game' would eliminate most, if not all of said abuse.
On second thought, TGFD thinks that anyone can own them, trade them, and have as many as one would like. The kicker is this...When payout time comes around, only those with the 'skin' get paid. Everyone else gets nothing. I think that's a much better way.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2009 8:27PM
@20 "and even incorporated another couple and a few other women and various points to spice things up a bit." Riiiiiiiiiiight.
Posted by guest , Sep 25, 2009 1:17AM
If we have...HACK, HACK, ACHEM.......derivatives in Parliaments, why weren't we smokers...achhh...snorkemfrichh....notified? I'm smoking through a tracheotomy as I type. Parliament's killed my.....hughhhh....hick.... husband. Marlboro extra...wheeese... lights....huh....hah....would have kept....gack..Michael.....gaphlem...Moore off my ....hack....porch.