In his last letter to investors at Body of Christ Capital, Pope Benedict noted that there is a circle of hell for those who commit sins in the financial arena, which is where you people will be burning while he and his boys enjoy the view from above while tapping that underage ass. Not to be outdone, Archbishop Rowan Williams weighed in on the situation last night, saying that, personally, he just doesn’t feel a sense of closure “about what happened last year,” and what he would like bankers to do about it is repent for what you’ve done or rot in hell. Unfortunately, his words lack the same get up and go as when Il Papa shouts “down on your knees!” (especially when they’re delivered over the course of a casual chat on BBC, and most especially with the professor look Will’s sporting) but you should listen to every damn thing he has to say nonetheless. He needs to feel your remorse. Show him you mean it. (He’d also like bonuses capped, and thinks that economists are a crock, but one thing at a time.)
Related: Catholic Church Thinks You’re All A Bunch Of Sinners
*Obviously this is possibly scary shit if you’re a god-fearing financier across the pond but will pale in comparison to the mother of all guilt trips being prepared as we speak for next weekend.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
what’s happening next weekend?
your sorry… [insert noun here]
@2 doesn’t it suck to leave faggy comments about grammar errors that can be easily fixed rendering yours irrelevant?
Well, if someone sees a massive divine fireball demolish a building somewhere in NYC today, we know where Bess is. Such sacrilege.
@4 you’re on the wrong site, pal.
The Bishop of Rome is the original and he rules! Beth is the Papal Sceptre Personnified!
I get on my knees for no man
-cg
@1 – Yom Kippur, Jewish day of atonement. We Jews are very efficient with the whole repentance thing…. we get it over and done with for the whole year in one shot.
Is that phil jackson?
@1 seriously?
cg@7 you lie!!!
What happened last year?
@5
Guess I should go back to Townhall.com then before viruses from this demonic site infest my computer. I’ll need to sprinkle holy water on my computer now to cleanse it.
@12 I’d also appreciate if someone could clue me in? I was drunk for most of it so the memory’s hazy.
-KL
he looks so regal in that pic.
Kat von D…hit it? or not hit it?
Can we start making fun of Catholics again, like last time?
-a Catholic
@16
Hit it…if she has the tats lasered off and agrees to refrain from talking.
How could you be so heartless?
@18 Tats must remain in full effect. Talking is at your sole discretion.
Beth, do Jew girls ever have to wear them little beanies like the Jew guys?
-CG
So just so we’re clear on the C of E position:
Too much leverage: Burn in hell
Beheading your wife: You’re cool
The Archbishop of Canterbury believes in Hell? Scratch that- he believes in anything? What is this, the 19th century?
@17 making fun of Anglicans/Episcopalians is much more gratifying than making fun of Catholics. They’re too passive to say anything, so they just stew in the hate. Then they start hating themselves for hating you, and soon enough they have a nervous breakdown and have to call their therapist.
I see that we are generally an unrepentent bunch. So I’ll go first.
I’m a lapsed Catholic and a recovering onanist.
I bought double short ETFs on opportune days last fall. I drove John Mack to Mitsubishi, Lloyd Blankfein to Warren Buffet, and Vickie Pandit to Uncle Sam. I caused tens of thousands of Wall Streeters to lose their jobs. I gave not one dime to the Dealbreaker Wall Street Coffee Relief Fund.
I’m sorry. I’m going to wear my hairshirt and flail myself every day during Power Lunch for the rest of CNBC’s “The Week that Shook the World.”
Bless me sister, for I have sinned.
Does this guy ever spend anytime doing, you know, stuff at church? He’s also featured on the Planet Earth video commenting about how we’re all destroying the earth. And now he’s talking up finance? What is he, a know-it-all politician? The church should stick to The Bible, leaving all you heathens to discuss what’s reported in the WSJ.
Yum, kippers!
@NS/16 Double-bag it in all 3 inputs, no HB.
@24 I broke the damn.
@23 – As a former member of the C of E, I can assure you it’s a very low key religion which doesn’t even require a belief in god. It’s to religion what the national anthem at baseball games is to patriotism.
@Naked…I’d tap Kat Von D while she tattoo’d “Property of Bess Levin” on my backside.
…dignity? Sorry, I don’t know the meaning of the word, my friends.
Heres another fun game for all of you Kat von D men out there. Tell a female you think she is cute in a kinda strange way and watch the sparks fly.
“You’re lucky I’m Church of England.” – Eddie Izzard
Cake or Death (around 4:47): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAOLOGGftTY&feature=related
I do my best to keep all of dese Wall Street crooks and sheisters on da straight and narrow, but dares only one of me.
If dey let me, I’m gonna carry da Statue of San Gennaro ova da Brooklyn Bridge to Wall Street, all by myself.
-cg
@NS
Uh excuse me sir, but the Crab People were responsible for that incident. Your continued insistence otherwise will result in your incarceration
@32 – one of the funniest stand-up routines I’ve ever seen. Nice pull.
Running, jumping, climbing trees. All in fantastic makeup.
@23, Mostly when that happens we just sip on our JWB, offer up a thin, cold smile, and reflect on the quiet splendours of ducal peerage.
Who here remembers the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
@37 – I do…because I always beat acne to the punch, it kept waiting 12 years…how silly.
-Gilbert Gauthe
GOOD YUNTUF!