• 14 Sep 2009 at 2:37 PM

Attention Failed Senior Executives

By

dick_fuld.03.jpgMany of you– Dick, Jimmy, the Thain-meister– have been out of work for a year or more now. Some of you are going to stay that way! Others may have a small prayer. In the spirit of true sisterhood, Duff McDonald called up some financial services recruiters and asked them to give it to us straight re: who has a chance at one day making it into the big boy office again and who will be shuffling down the sidewalk in his bathrobe. Hank Paulson, in their professional opinion, will definitely land a new gig, possibly as a CEO, because his “reputation as a manager is strong” and he could brush off any objections people had to his work with the gov as a blip. Worst comes to worst he could threaten to put Ken Lewis in a body bag again and take over at Bank of America. Dick Fuld has “no shot at another job, ever” because he was mean to people and eats with his hands. Jimmy Cayne, they believe, “should and will stay retired,” but that’s not because he couldn’t get a job, it’s because he prefers the Big Daddy JC version of fantasy camp (little bridge, little weed, lotsa Funyions) to the 9-5 thing. John Thain “was an attractive candidate to be a CEO of a significant company until about a year ago,” i.e. ToiletGate so Citi it is! And if you thought “head of AIG-FP” was a dealbreaker, ladies, think again! While it will be a challenging for Joe Cassano to land a deal, it’s not out the question.

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    Comments (26)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:43 PM

      Dick’s right arm is linger than his left in that picture.

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:44 PM

      Can we have another movie to round out the week? Say, maybe something about KL’s childhood and his struggle towards the top spot in Amerika’s greatest banking behemoth?

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:45 PM

      I am a headhunter at a Financial Services Recruiting firm.
      Who is Dick Fold?

    4. 4
      Posted by Stanley O | September 14, 2009 at 3:46 PM

      “I demand to be relevent!”

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:49 PM

      The Gorilla will be back!!!! Bet on it, Baby!
      – RF!

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:50 PM

      Button your jacket. You look like a slob.

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:52 PM

      Dick should try posing in some hiked up sweats and red socks. really show of the little gorilla
      SKI UTAH!!!!!

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:54 PM

      Where’s “He looks so regal” guy?

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:55 PM

      Dick Fold: Ive had Hank Paulson up my ass all week!!!
      Dennis Kneale: you have no idea…..

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:56 PM

      He looks so regal in that pic

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:58 PM

      Bess, I’d like to apply for a job as a stringer for the Dealbreaker wire service. I can also double as a stripper at Dealbreaker headquarters holiday parties. Where should I send my resume/clips?
      - An FSE

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 3:59 PM

      @10
      Thanks. It had to be said.
      -8

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:01 PM

      This just off the wires:
      Dennis Kneale is molesting fucking a new type of canine – it’s called an E.coli. Does anyone have a picture? Is it like Bo, the Portuguese water dog?

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:02 PM

      Anyone not offering HP a job may as well go buy a body bag and zip themselves up in it. It’ll just make it easier on the rest of us.

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:06 PM

      I overheard Hank Paulson talkingto Dick Fold about the size of his bazooka

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:07 PM

      He looks so beagle in that picture.
      -DK

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:08 PM

      strike

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:09 PM

      cock bag

    19. 19
      Posted by Kanye W | September 14, 2009 at 4:12 PM

      Anybody need an agent?

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:16 PM

      @19 comment of the week

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:20 PM

      “….a move that brought AIG—and global finance—to its knees”
      I’d kill to have that on my tombstone.

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 4:28 PM

      One time, on a really hot day, I sat funny and got a dick fold. Hurt bad. Hurt real bad.

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 5:05 PM

      He looks so life-like in that picture.

    24. 24
      Posted by Chazzy | September 14, 2009 at 5:31 PM

      This one time, in Band-Camp…

    25. 25
      Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 9:19 PM

      funyuns

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | September 15, 2009 at 8:14 AM

      Does Dennis Kneale really snuggle with collies?

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