Bernie Madoff Most Likely Broke Yesterday’s Fast With A Bacon, Egg And Cheese Sandwich

Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 29, 2009, 11:21am

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Oh joy, another book is out about Bernie Madoff. This one is by ABC’s Brian Ross and despite presumably never having slept with Ponzi Boy, manages to (sort of) get into dick size as well, though not is as harrowing detail as Sheryl Weinstein. Sitting down with Diane Sawyer, Ross informs us that:

1. During those dark days of house arrest? “Bernie and Ruth walked around naked.” (Yes.)

2. Ruth thinks “the Gentiles are responsible for this.”

3. Berns and Ruth are furious that the soon-to-be destitute Andy and Mark went to the FBI right after finding out the whole thing is a scam, rather than give the couple time to just, you know, get a few things together.

Also: Madoff was apparently given Monday off to get closer to God, though some are skeptical he actually took the holiday seriously, particularly his brother, Peter. (It seems Pedro still hasn’t gotten over the fact that Bernie used to tease him, an Orthodox Jew, about not being able to eat the delicacy that is pork, while the non-observing bro would rub pieces of raw bacon all over his face while going on about “how good this is, you want a bite” on the reg, not to mention deluging him with daily links to bacon-infused treats and making the main feature of the annual holiday party a pig roast).

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