gasparino.jpgThat, or if the camera pans back, he’s moments away from bum rushing the stage prior to being manhandled by the Secret Service. Why? Because what Mr. Obama is saying is a crock and Chazza would rather be bound and gagged in the backseat of a Buick than listen to it with the other sheep. Also, he’s just got better things to do with his time, like get back to his fighting weight for the next Golden Gloves tournament. This is his year.

President Obama is speaking tonight, apparently to assure us all that his administration has the financial crisis resolved. Don’t bet on it.
[...]
Wall Street will tell you that times have changed. One chief culprit of the financial collapse, “leverage” — borrowing to finance risk-taking activities — is way down these days, so the risk of losses spreading to dangerous levels has been minimized. Maybe so, but that won’t last — because it never does.
In economic circles, the problem is known as “moral hazard.” Average Americans will call it common sense. And common sense tells me that, given the nature of the last year’s bailout, moral hazard has been created on an unprecedented scale — setting the system up for a bigger demise somewhere down the road, when the memory of the horrible weeks following Lehman’s bankruptcy is forgotten.
It’s not just that Wall Street has a short memory — the last bailout made things worse: The federal safety net is no longer merely the promise to cut interest rates to rockbottom levels or prod firms to bail out a wayward hedge fund. After Lehman’s bankruptcy, the feds panicked and created the biggest safety net of all time.

Don’t worry though. Gaspo’s got a plan. He’s floated it before, but why not again today. It’s pretty genius and to the big timers reading this, please feel free to get in touch and discuss it further. San Pietro, 5 o’clock. You’re buying.

Goldman Sachs is now a commercial bank, meaning it’s regulated by the Federal Reserve and viewed as too big to fail. Ditto for Morgan Stanley, which just hired all those traders and salesmen to take risk — and did it with the imprimatur of the federal government.
There is, of course, a simple solution to all this: Goldman, Morgan and the rest of the “banks” should either become hedge funds — with no backing from the federal government and taxpayer funds when they engage in risk — or start handing out debit cards and toasters and become real commercial banks by concentrating on signing people up for checking accounts, instead of trading esoteric bonds.

Comments (43)

  1. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    have no fear, barney frank is on the case

  2. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    YOU LIE!
    -CG

  3. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    He looks so regal in that pic

  4. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    Charlie Gasparino = Cosa Nostradamus

  5. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    Charles Gasparino is a friend of mine
    -BHO

  6. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    He looks like he punished the hell out of his pecks in that pic.
    CG

  7. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    I’m definitely rushing the stage. As I’ve said before it would be an honor to die on the job.
    -CG

  8. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    I cant imagine what Dennis Kneale is doing off camera right now

  9. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    Just give me 5 minutes in the back alley with the blowhard. I’ll show him a thing or two…
    CG

  10. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    @7 hahah i forgot about that gem

  11. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    He’s just pissed because the SS confiscated his pocket deli slicer.

  12. Posted by Charlie Gasparino | September 14, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    It was a gift from Giuseppe Garibaldi, XXIV. It’s all fun and games until someone takes your talisman, broccoli dick.

  13. Posted by Charlie Gasparino | September 14, 2009 at 12:35 PM

    Sorry, too fucking worked up. My comment @12 was for 11.

  14. Posted by me | September 14, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    The US government is the biggest leveraged shop in the world, borrowing today to pay today’s bills, and paying back over many years. FNM & FRE are still bleeding money and will continue to. So who is really the model that Wall St. follows? If the politicians with Wall St. money in their pockets can do it, so can the street.

  15. Posted by pfluger | September 14, 2009 at 12:42 PM

    I listened to da speech, and awl I can say is dat Obama don’t know stugots about economics or fuckin’ finance. Doze kakkazotes he’s got workin’ for him are a buncha fuckin’ clowns. Dey need a serious financial journalist and analyst. A guy like me.
    Barry, gimme a cawl. Cawl me Barry, now. Now means now. I stand ready to soiv America!
    -cg

  16. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    CG’s Editor: Charlie, why don’t we replace “fuckin’ go-ahead from Uncle Sam, that cocksucker” with “imprimatur”?
    CG: I like that. Sounds classy and sophisticated.

  17. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    @ 15- Your post makes no sense. If your going to post something, make sure it is english. After all this is an english website.

  18. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    there’s only one way for bho and i to solve this. bench presses, 5 o’clock

  19. Posted by pfluger | September 14, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    @17:
    Whaddya, think I’m a fuckin’ moron or sometin, tryin’ to bait like dat….?
    I can tawk American just fine, pal. I got a book comin out soon, ya know. I wrote it awl by my self.
    -cg

  20. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    @ 19- I think you are fucking moron.
    17

  21. Posted by pfluger | September 14, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    Fuckin’ bloggers. None of you could be a columnist, like me.
    -cg

  22. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    @17 = CG
    I think he’s pissed

  23. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    at 22 And I care?

  24. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    @22
    You’ll know when I’m pissed, ’cause I’ll be up your ass like a Scud missile enema.
    -CG

  25. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    @2 sorry to steal your thunder, cg, but you are about 1 week too late to pull that heckler’s stunt and don’t even think about jumping up on stage to grab the mike to say Beyonce’s economic plan is better.
    i guess you could try going commando in cowboy chaps and be helicopter dropped from the ceiling with your tight, bare a$$ falling into the Mighty O’s teleprompter or something because it’s been about a year since we’ve had that one and hairy a$$es are always good for a week’s run in the press cycle.

  26. Posted by HAM05 | September 14, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    cg is a gay fish.
    i went there.

  27. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Bess, when are you going to see Charlie again? I would like to know if it’s true he finishes his triceps and traps by tossing an extra large pizza dough for 15 minutes.

  28. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:25 PM

    @HAM you will SLEEP with da fuckin fish when im done witch you.
    -cg

  29. Posted by pfluger | September 14, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    @25:
    Oh yeah, you fuckin’ boccolone? I’m fuckin’ ricco sfondato! Eat yer hearts out, yous fuckin’ bloggers.
    - cg

  30. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    The prez is lucky he has that security detail because CG would mop the floor with him. CG’s a flooe mopper.

  31. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    Do any of you have Erin’s “POT” comment recorded from earlier this morning?? I heard it was pretty funny. She thought the dude was talking about wacky tobakky I suppose when he was mentioning Potash Corp (POT)…

  32. Posted by Investorcluzo | September 14, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    cg, who is your ceo?!?
    -maxine

  33. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:37 PM

    CG told BHO after the speech that the family dog had been left in a room alone with Dennis Kneale

  34. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    Maxine Water’s is Barack Obama’s CEO at the White House

  35. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    The word today is “imprimatur.” Cramer used it, too. “Imprimatur.”

  36. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    cg, you’re about 1.5 years late on this one. where were you when it actually mattered?

  37. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    CG, DK’s waitin’ for you at the kennels with a doggy chew.

  38. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Dennis Kneale says CG has a screw loose

  39. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    “…don’t even think about jumping up on stage to grab the mike to say Beyonce’s economic plan is better”
    fantastic!

  40. Posted by Dennis Kneale | September 14, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    I need Bo and a jar of peanut butter like the Knicks need another Ewing. Honest injun.

  41. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    Does anyone know if Obama’s dog is hypoallergenic?
    -DK

  42. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    Dear Charlie,
    And
    “I swear to God I’ll eff-ing take the moral hazard and shove it down your eff-ing throat.”
    is off-limits too.
    Yours most sincerely,
    Serena W.

  43. Posted by guest | September 14, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    CG telling us that BHO can’t fix the economy, D-Rat telling us we’ve been taken hostage, and JC telling us “Read my lips no more Lehmans.” It looks like Bess and Greg might be the last best hope for financial journalism.
    God save us all.

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