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Goldman Sachs Supposedly Not Happy With Topless Story

kimballer.pngPage Six has a follow-up to yesterday’s story regarding partner managing director Richard Kimball Jr and the neighbors in Southampton whose summers he ruined by not even once considering inviting them over when he was having company. Apparently the bank was “not pleased” with the item. Because it attracted unwanted attention at a time when GS is trying to lay low and just be regular Joes? No! Because it failed to really express just how much puss Kimballer slayed through Labor Day. If you’re going to write about the Masters of the Universe having sex parties in the backyard, at least make it halfway realistic. Place Lloyd at the scene. Throw in his wife. Have eyewitness accounts of 16 year-olds rolling around in sticky fifties. This shouldn’t be that difficult, and yet, more than 24 hours after the fact, LB has received nary an email from friends asking “did you really mount a Sybian machine out East?” Failure all around.

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196 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Supposedly Not Happy With Topless Story”

  1. guest says:

    I smoke letuce

  2. guest says:

    I just took my 3rd BM of the morning in the lobby of 85 Broad. Didn’t even bother using the WC.
    CG

    • Anonymous says:

      85 Broad? Only thing left at 85 broad is a couple derelicts with whom I have nothing in common and a space for my dealer to idle his Windstar while he waits for me to come outside of the office on weeknights my man

  3. guest says:

    Goldman Sachs, why do you hate fun?

  4. guest says:

    Dennis Kneale molests collies
    -CG

  5. LB says:

    @3 what are you talking about? i lent my wife to this guy for crazy sex parties. i love fun.

  6. guest says:

    This would never have happened in my day.
    -Dick Fold

  7. Tommy Lee Jones says:

    Find that man!

  8. guest says:

    shouldnt this guy be jumping out of a storm drain while being chased by Tommy Lee Jones?

  9. Guess says:

    Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

  10. guest says:

    I hear hear his brother John is a cop working undercover teaching kindergarten.

  11. Becky Boot Fan says:

    “Well I’ve got news for you! You are mine now…you belong to me!”
    -Det. John Kimball

  12. guest says:

    Was Lloyd’s wife one of the topless chicks at the party?
    Upstart Guerrilla Reporter

  13. american bandersnatch says:

    I’m simply jealous.
    – Married w/ children

  14. guest says:

    “LB has yet to receive any emails from friends asking “did you really mount a Sybian machine?” ”
    done.

  15. guest says:

    i just can’t get over how wide his chin is.

  16. Det John Kimball says:

    Anybody up for a game of “who’s your daddy and what does he do?”

  17. Seaman Bodine II says:

    I’d rather live next to this guy, than the current GS partner I’ve got. Much rather look at titties on whores than man boobs on nancies collecting antiques.

  18. guest says:

    @17 “than the current GS partner I’ve got”
    mmmmmm bull shit. which gs partner lives in a trailer park?

  19. gary cohn says:

    no one has emailed lloyd about that b/c it’s not a like a holy shit moment but rather to be expected. pretty standard.

  20. guest says:

    Richard Kimble? Didn’t the one armed man kill his wife?

  21. guest says:

    i am the sheriff and you are my deputy trainees

  22. guest says:

    Wasn’t Kimble Harrison Ford’s character from the Fugitive?

  23. guest says:

    my daddys a gynocologist and he looksa at buh-ginas all day long

  24. pfluger says:

    “Its a small neighborhood. I will have no additional comments.”
    – Dr. Richard Kimball

  25. guest says:

    @25 ftw

  26. lucas van praag says:

    @23 terrible movie.
    @24 ftw

  27. guest says:

    Wait a minute!!! Heads up!!!!!
    As we learned the hard way, so-called “sybian” devices are designed specifically for women!!!!
    ~Former Lehman Quant Association

  28. sybian capital ceo says:

    @27 they’re designed for anyone with a hole. that’s all you need.

  29. guest says:

    The party comments reminded me of the movie “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo”. Specifically the “bottomless” party scene trend the host was trying to start because he was tired of all the topless parties in Miami…

  30. guest says:

    I’ll rip you a new hole, pansies.
    CG

  31. kimballer says:

    @29 that comment sucked

  32. guest says:

    Could be worse.
    -J. Epstein

  33. Seaman Bodine II says:

    Fucking East Coast gash – build a dungeon for that shit.
    HTNIII

  34. guest says:

    Abby Joseph Cohen is not a hermaphrodite.
    -The neighbor who called the cops

  35. guest says:

    @31: YOU LIE!!!
    ~Website Taker-Downer in South Carolina who Wishes He Was a Real Family Values Guy Like Rep. Duvall in California

  36. guest says:

    In high school, I dated a girl with big boobs, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
    In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
    I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
    I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was without direction. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
    After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.
    Now all I want is a girl with big boobs.

  37. guest says:

    Don’t you mean rolling ON 50s
    – us older guys

  38. guest says:

    16 year olds…Sticky Fifties…Girls Gone Wild – Montauk

  39. guest says:

    also jealous.

  40. guest says:

    @36 ftw!

  41. guest says:

    As of now, Dealbreaker is the top Google hit for ‘sticky fifties’.
    I support this website, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

  42. the guy from detroit says:

    36 wins.

  43. Tiffani says:

    Panty liners used to be Benjamins…

  44. Guest says:

    Was his gay buddy Rubinoff at the party?

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