kimballer.pngPage Six has a follow-up to yesterday’s story regarding partner managing director Richard Kimball Jr and the neighbors in Southampton whose summers he ruined by not even once considering inviting them over when he was having company. Apparently the bank was “not pleased” with the item. Because it attracted unwanted attention at a time when GS is trying to lay low and just be regular Joes? No! Because it failed to really express just how much puss Kimballer slayed through Labor Day. If you’re going to write about the Masters of the Universe having sex parties in the backyard, at least make it halfway realistic. Place Lloyd at the scene. Throw in his wife. Have eyewitness accounts of 16 year-olds rolling around in sticky fifties. This shouldn’t be that difficult, and yet, more than 24 hours after the fact, LB has received nary an email from friends asking “did you really mount a Sybian machine out East?” Failure all around.

Comments (45)

  1. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    I smoke letuce

  2. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    I just took my 3rd BM of the morning in the lobby of 85 Broad. Didn’t even bother using the WC.
    CG

  3. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    Goldman Sachs, why do you hate fun?

  4. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    Dennis Kneale molests collies
    -CG

  5. Posted by LB | September 10, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    @3 what are you talking about? i lent my wife to this guy for crazy sex parties. i love fun.

  6. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:55 AM

    This would never have happened in my day.
    -Dick Fold

  7. Posted by Tommy Lee Jones | September 10, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    Find that man!

  8. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    shouldnt this guy be jumping out of a storm drain while being chased by Tommy Lee Jones?

  9. Posted by Guess | September 10, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

  10. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    I hear hear his brother John is a cop working undercover teaching kindergarten.

  11. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | September 10, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    “Well I’ve got news for you! You are mine now…you belong to me!”
    -Det. John Kimball

  12. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    Was Lloyd’s wife one of the topless chicks at the party?
    Upstart Guerrilla Reporter

  13. Posted by american bandersnatch | September 10, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    I’m simply jealous.
    - Married w/ children

  14. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:05 PM

    “LB has yet to receive any emails from friends asking “did you really mount a Sybian machine?” ”
    done.

  15. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    i just can’t get over how wide his chin is.

  16. Posted by Det John Kimball | September 10, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    Anybody up for a game of “who’s your daddy and what does he do?”

  17. Posted by Seaman Bodine II | September 10, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    I’d rather live next to this guy, than the current GS partner I’ve got. Much rather look at titties on whores than man boobs on nancies collecting antiques.

  18. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    @17 “than the current GS partner I’ve got”
    mmmmmm bull shit. which gs partner lives in a trailer park?

  19. Posted by gary cohn | September 10, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    no one has emailed lloyd about that b/c it’s not a like a holy shit moment but rather to be expected. pretty standard.

  20. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    Richard Kimble? Didn’t the one armed man kill his wife?

  21. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    i am the sheriff and you are my deputy trainees

  22. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    Wasn’t Kimble Harrison Ford’s character from the Fugitive?

  23. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    my daddys a gynocologist and he looksa at buh-ginas all day long

  24. Posted by pfluger | September 10, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    “Its a small neighborhood. I will have no additional comments.”
    - Dr. Richard Kimball

  25. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    @25 ftw

  26. Posted by lucas van praag | September 10, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    @23 terrible movie.
    @24 ftw

  27. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    Wait a minute!!! Heads up!!!!!
    As we learned the hard way, so-called “sybian” devices are designed specifically for women!!!!
    ~Former Lehman Quant Association

  28. Posted by sybian capital ceo | September 10, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    @27 they’re designed for anyone with a hole. that’s all you need.

  29. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:47 PM

    The party comments reminded me of the movie “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo”. Specifically the “bottomless” party scene trend the host was trying to start because he was tired of all the topless parties in Miami…

  30. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    I’ll rip you a new hole, pansies.
    CG

  31. Posted by kimballer | September 10, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    @29 that comment sucked

  32. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    Could be worse.
    -J. Epstein

  33. Posted by Seaman Bodine II | September 10, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    Fucking East Coast gash – build a dungeon for that shit.
    HTNIII

  34. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    Abby Joseph Cohen is not a hermaphrodite.
    -The neighbor who called the cops

  35. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    @31: YOU LIE!!!
    ~Website Taker-Downer in South Carolina who Wishes He Was a Real Family Values Guy Like Rep. Duvall in California

  36. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    In high school, I dated a girl with big boobs, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
    In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
    I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
    I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was without direction. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
    After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.
    Now all I want is a girl with big boobs.

  37. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    Don’t you mean rolling ON 50s
    - us older guys

  38. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    16 year olds…Sticky Fifties…Girls Gone Wild – Montauk

  39. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    also jealous.

  40. Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    @36 ftw!

  41. Posted by guest | September 11, 2009 at 6:11 AM

    As of now, Dealbreaker is the top Google hit for ‘sticky fifties’.
    I support this website, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

  42. Posted by the guy from detroit | September 11, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    36 wins.

  43. Posted by Tiffani | March 9, 2011 at 12:55 AM

    Panty liners used to be Benjamins…

  44. Posted by Anonymous | March 18, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    85 Broad? Only thing left at 85 broad is a couple derelicts with whom I have nothing in common and a space for my dealer to idle his Windstar while he waits for me to come outside of the office on weeknights my man

  45. Posted by Guest | March 22, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    Was his gay buddy Rubinoff at the party?

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