berniemadoffdance.pngSorry if this comes off as insensitive to the victims, but does this guy not just get more awesome by the hour? And the SEC, if possible, more retarded?

One investigator described Mr. Madoff as “a wonderful storyteller” and “a captivating speaker” … the examiner said he found it “interesting” but also “distracting” because they were there “to conduct business.” As to why Madoff did not collect fees like all other hedge-fund managers, they accepted his response that he was not “greedy” and was happy with just receiving commissions.

Of course, Berns really didn’t even have to go into such elaborate tales in order to pull the Ponzi over these people’s eyes. It sounds like a simple “Hey, look over there!” or “No further questions” would’ve sufficed.

There were also simple bureaucratic foul-ups, like the one in which different branch offices of the S.E.C. were both looking into the operations of Mr. Madoff. “Astoundingly, both examinations were open at the same time in different offices without either knowing the other one was conducting an identical examination,” Mr. Kotz noted.
“In fact, it was Madoff himself who informed one of the examination teams that the other examination team had already received the information they were seeking from him.”

Basically, Day One at Clownface College needs to be “The Pencil Sharpener: No Matter How Curious, Do Not Stick Your Dick In It.”

Madoff Was A ‘Wonderful Storyteller,’ Says SEC Employees
[Daily Intel]



more movies at www.miloop.com

60 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (60)

  1. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:01 PM

    Is our children learning?
    -mary schapiro, dean of students @ clownface college

  2. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:05 PM

    amazing

  3. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:07 PM

    Question: Glasses or no glasses on my date tonight with a titty dancer? I happen to think they make me look distinguished.
    -CG

  4. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    @3: make sure you wear a shirt with sleeves

  5. Posted by NakedShort | September 3, 2009 at 4:14 PM

    @3 CG be sure and give your undercarriage a good cleaning a la Matthew Broderick in Election.
    You never know, you might get lucky and based on your vigorous workout regimen you’ll want that bad boy to smell tip top.

  6. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | September 3, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    He can disarm you with his hands or his wit, either way.
    He can speak French, in Russian.
    He can satisfy the flappiest vagina with his modest penis.
    “…stay horny, my friends.”

  7. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    I would prefer death by gay Snu Snu.
    BM

  8. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    @7 youd prefer death by gay snu snu to what?

  9. Posted by NakedShort | September 3, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    Bud Light Presents: Real Women of Genius
    Today we salute you. Miss SEC Enforcement Officer. Having zero knowledge of the finance indusrty and a shiny new J.D., you head into the Lipstick Building to do an audit.
    Sure the guy in charge is charming, looks so regal and tells stories about how even though his tiny circumsized penis is hidden beneath a massive cock bush it, like a mountain lion, is ready at all times to pounce on a pussy and ravage her.
    Your keen instincts tells you that this guy is fucked 7 ways to Sunday and something super shady is going on here. But, according to him he could be the new head of the SEC, you start to think promotion if you laugh at his jokes. That and how hard does the government REALLY expect you to work on 100k a year?
    So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, SEC Slut. ‘Cause we all know, the the going gets tough, the tough get fold like cheap lawn chair.

  10. Posted by SEC Examiner | September 3, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    Dammit Bess – NOW you tell me!
    That advice about the pencil sharpener would have been helpful yesterday, thank you.
    I’ve gotta go take a shower – I think to save time I’ll take my hair dryer in with me.

  11. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:39 PM

    @7: snu snu must be tough with such a small lower horn

  12. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    A Condensed One Act Play by the Trader Between Trades.
    Scene: CNBC Studios Show, “Lancing the Market”with Mortimer Snerd and Effie Klinker
    *****************************
    Schapiro: “Fraud College!”
    Macke: “I’m going to talk to you like a child…”
    Kneale: Dickweeds!!
    D-Rat: “but waitwaitwait, remember stay with me now, then..
    Najarian: “This pic is better…”
    Drury: “I hid 2 reepiblican govs on today and…”
    Gov. Stanford: “Tango and cash!!!”
    Imus: “Uh…going to Fox..nappy..ungh..gurgle
    Maria B: “Well why arent YOU on it???”
    Benmosche: “Lets go behind closed doors…”
    Sweet Ashley: Let him without sin cast th..OW!!! Effin Santelli”!
    Imus: “I am your father Luke…..”
    Madoff: “That isn’t an “outie” down there……”
    S. Weinstein: “FRAUD COLLEGE….”
    Benmosche: Some fighters don’t have sex before a fight!
    Cuomo: “……………..”
    Gaspo: “I am not a blogger, I’m an effin columnist!
    Maria B.: “I’ll take Maria Bartiromo for $10″, Alex…
    Drury: “The dickabox is a greet CNBC spishell iffict!”
    Benmosche: “Float like a brick, sting like a feather!!”
    Cuomo: You wear the jockstrap and cup UNDER your trunks!”
    Hugh from Ice Road Truckers: “What the fuck?”
    Drury: “Nixt, riscuing ice road trekkers from wricked trucks!”
    Maria: “Next: 64 Years after atomic attacks on Germany…”
    MCC: “Look at all the boobs here today, would ya?”
    Macke: “GAG BALL!”
    Cramer: “LETTHEMANDOHISJOB!!!!!!!!”
    Busey: “The smaller the pecker the bigger the bird…”
    Bernancke: “WTF???”
    Blankfein: “GOLDSCROTE Capital Management!!”
    Alex from Ice Road Truckers: “What kind of hosers, eh??
    Lisa from Ice Road Truckers: “Bankers are weenies!”
    Glenn Beck: “(Sniff…Look…look into my eyes…(gasp) (sniff)

  13. Posted by B. Madizzle | September 3, 2009 at 4:43 PM
  14. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 4:57 PM

    T b/t T -
    I like the addition of the Ice Road Truckers cast, as well as Ashley. I think you might want to tie them together somehow, like Hugh and Ashley making the beast with two backs while Lisa and SW compare banker weenie sizes.
    The Unrequested Editor Between, uh, Trades. Right.

  15. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 5:07 PM

    Lisa makes trucking in 20 below F weather look easy.

  16. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 5:15 PM

    There’s been a little too much deference and respect in general heading the way of the financial sector of the economy for ever so long. What’s needed is for these audits to resemble something more like a Popeye Doyle bust.

  17. Posted by enjointhis | September 3, 2009 at 5:34 PM

    @9 You’ve just about got it, except for the $100k/yr salary. Probably it’s more like $75k/yr, although the useless f*ck might have gotten a locality raise. Still, you get what you pay for.Real lawyers from real law schools command upwards of twice that, & so you either get (a) earnest do-gooders, or (b) good b*llsh*tters. Either way, it’s NOT the best and brightest. Well-meaning? Yes. But competent? Not necessarily.
    - ET! (who regularly hunts financial fraud on the civil side of things)

  18. Posted by guest | September 3, 2009 at 5:40 PM

    I believe in the right to death by Snu Snu.
    Doc Kavork

  19. Posted by Anal_yst | September 3, 2009 at 5:44 PM

    @Naked
    Who is your dealer and what is his #?

  20. Posted by guest | September 4, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    @ET, “real lawyers from real law schools” wouldn’t know fraud if it hit them over the head and took all their money, which is precisely the problem. What’s needed is not lawyers, but financial professionals who actually understand the way the financial world works, rather than the artificial world of rules and regulations.

  21. [...] from personal experience, having dealt with the brain trust in the case of Allied Capital–, as has Bernie Madoff who, from the jail cell in which he rots, made no bones about the fact that he was eternally grateful [...]

  22. [...] from personal experience, having dealt with the brain trust in the case of Allied Capital–, as has Bernie Madoff who, from the jail cell in which he rots, made no bones about the fact that he was eternally grateful [...]

  23. Posted by BertieorBirdie | September 27, 2011 at 8:30 PM

    Normally I’m against killing but this article slgauhtreed my ignorance.

  24. Posted by oqqpbe | September 28, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    ng54At ythjvqawdgoe

  25. Posted by afbkihjuos | October 2, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    33iNDI cfnfctiqpxrl

  26. Posted by draw something apk | May 9, 2012 at 4:53 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Shane

  27. Posted by android market download apk | August 26, 2012 at 5:20 AM

    Nice mark. I inform something author on sharp blogs familiar. It will always be stimulating to construe volume off their writers and grooming a emotional something from their accumulation. I’d prefer to use with all the accumulation in my miniature weblog whether you do not manage. Natually I’ll supply a contact on your own net weblog. Numerous thanks distribution.

  28. Posted by Download Android Apps Games Apk | September 2, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Shane

  29. Posted by Download Android Apps Games Apk | September 4, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Craig

  30. Posted by top android market apps | September 5, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Justin

  31. Posted by grosir perlengkapan bayi | September 6, 2012 at 11:26 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Rolf

  32. Posted by Android Market Apk Download | September 7, 2012 at 3:44 AM

    302 Found I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Craig

  33. Posted by Android Market Apk Download | September 7, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    302 Found I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Rolf

  34. Posted by Apk Files Games | September 8, 2012 at 4:23 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Rolf

  35. Posted by Apps Android Apk Games | September 9, 2012 at 6:30 AM

    302 Found I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Lawrence

  36. Posted by Download Android Apps Games Apk | September 9, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is great, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  37. Posted by Android market apk download | September 11, 2012 at 11:03 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Craig

  38. Posted by Android Market Apk Download | September 12, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Justin

  39. Posted by blackmart apk | September 13, 2012 at 7:32 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Cassetta

  40. Posted by top android market apps | September 13, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    302 Found I was suggested this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Veronica

  41. Posted by New Android Market Apk | September 14, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Lisa

  42. Posted by nenourbarve | September 14, 2012 at 6:56 PM

    ybyjxvno [url=http://achatlongchamppliageonline.com/#7832]sac longchamp le pliaget[/url] zmbrwkup sac longchamp pas cherz xvaweubg http://achatlongchamppliageonline.com/

  43. Posted by aplicaciones android | September 15, 2012 at 1:39 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Lawrence

  44. Posted by blackmart apk Download Free | September 15, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    302 Found I was suggested this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Veronica

  45. Posted by top android market apps | September 16, 2012 at 12:32 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Rolf

  46. Posted by Aplicaciones Android Tablet | September 16, 2012 at 3:12 AM

    Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is excellent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  47. Posted by blackmart apk Download Free | September 16, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    302 Found I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Agata

  48. Posted by top android market apps | September 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Cassetta

  49. Posted by perlengkapan bayi murah | September 17, 2012 at 2:46 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re amazing! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Cassetta

  50. Posted by blackmart apk Download Free | September 18, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    302 Found I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re incredible! Thanks! your article about 302 FoundBest Regards Rolf

  51. Posted by Snappzmarket alternative | September 20, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is excellent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  52. Posted by Snappzmarket review | September 22, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is fantastic, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  53. Posted by lifeproof iphone 5 | September 27, 2012 at 6:13 AM

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is excellent, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  54. Posted by Applanet | September 29, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is great, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about 302 Found .

  55. Posted by cuviccmji | October 2, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    gtV0ok vbqqbhyeggcm, [url=http://vxibrvtpwuzn.com/]vxibrvtpwuzn[/url], [link=http://gmwttazrsdgk.com/]gmwttazrsdgk[/link], http://ynceoetkkqxw.com/

  56. Posted by Crycliscerela | October 5, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    ndacfjjp [url=http://babourjacketsaleonline.co.uk/#06123]barbour jackets[/url] ofcohc barbour jacket sale clvhgnpf http://babourjacketsaleonline.co.uk/idoiahdi [url=http://raphlaurensalesonline.co.uk/#26458]polo ralph lauren outlet[/url] ygzlhz ralph lauren uk sale flhgutlo http://raphlaurensalesonline.co.uk/

  57. Posted by aplicamaiciones android gratis | October 7, 2012 at 4:51 AM

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently fast.

  58. Posted by Emil Haygood | October 8, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    Great post at 302 Found. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful info specially the last part :) I care for such info much. I was seeking this certain information for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  59. Posted by Arrivatriva | October 9, 2012 at 5:33 AM

    crszamme [url=http://airjodanndesoldes.monwebeden.fr/#69721]air jordan pas cher[/url] kfhass air jordan wbmgmpum http://airjodanndesoldes.monwebeden.fr/

  60. Posted by piocoxist | October 14, 2012 at 9:16 PM

    mwhnuelf jjznqhjkuc timberland boots nnzwykv http://timblandbootsxoutletstores.webeden.co.uk/ xfysuxxp vqbhrtphsh belstaff jackets sale nlojphv http://bestaffjacketssalesonline.webeden.co.uk/#8178 dabjjfsq [url=http://salesdrdreheadphonesoutletstore.info/#3342]beats by dre uk sale[/url] qadmcvgiuh ufdondff [url=http://salesvuittonnbagsoutletstore.info/#5100]louis vuitton outlet[/url] xnxrvwdbpo