Many of you have spent countless nights fantasizing about what it would be like getting drunk with Jamie Dimon. But it was just that– a fantasy that you never imagined would come true. Well, peasants, today comes the thrilling news that if we can get JD to quit his gig on Park, this thing could actually happen. It’s on the tip of his tongue and all we have to do is coax it out. Courtesy of Mrs. Judy Dimon, the lowdown on JD’s plans for the future:
“One fantasy, according to his wife: opening his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers. (That, or maybe he might finally go and climb Mount Kilimanjaro.)”– Last Man Standing
Alright, now focus. We need a name, and a gimmick. What’s going to be the “thing” at [Dimon in The Rough? Dimon's Dive? Dungeons and Dimons?]? JD is second to none at flip-cup so there might be something there but need to think bigger– Vikram Pandit and Sandy Weill urinal cakes?
Cliff Asness=Cliff Clavin. It’s perfect–and they both hold the federal government (esp. the USPS) in high regard.
Erin just put me to the taste test…
is that pic real?
That motherfucker is heading for the exit. Chase is doomed and he knows it
@4 why?
Dungeons and Dimons FTW!
I hope he calls it Blood Dimons just to remind everyone for years to come that he still has the power to kill you.
Also, Bess please remind him that if he wears a low-cut top he’ll get way better tips.
Dimon’s in the Rough
I kinda think he should name da joint, “Gasparinos.” It sounds classy and sophisticated, like me.
-cg
(I’d made him pay naming rights, though, and force him to discontinue the cheap, flat lager he’s hoisting in the photo.)
he’s got some big hands. just sayin’.
I would hit that. Several times.
-Kirstie Alley
My dearest Jes, A guy like me looks in the mirror, he either grins, or he starts to fade away. And I haven’t seen anything to grin about in a long time. This may not be the most graceful exit, but I know when the bank account’s empty. The only thing I’m really going to miss is the man-hugs we had. At least I get the last butt slap, even if I had to e-mail it in. Dimon’s Law: Never kiss Weill’s ass. You’ll get fudge on your lips. As for the rest of Dimons Laws, ignore them. The guy’s mouth was always full of shit.
Call it “Last Man Standing.” Here’s a gimmick: Jamie funnels booze down your throat until you puke, then beats you to a pulp, steals your wallet and calls the cops on you.
@13- love it.
-JD
Dimon’s Are Forever
Dimons and Pearl Necklaces
Dimons on My Neck, Patron in My Cup
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUPcoXUb748)
@12 do you have something you’d like to share with the group?
Ok, so location, I’m thinking penthouse of 14 Wall, thoughts?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/14_Wall_Street
I would eat that.
-Kirstie Alley
Jamie seems somewhat unpopular, for some reason.
Maybe “JD’s House of Pain and Degradation”, or something along those lines would work, especially in the East Village.
@anal_yst no way- jd is a park/midtown guy through and through. lives there/works there.
My Balls are Bigger than a Gorilla’s
Jimmy D’s
dimon girlz
strip club not just a bar of course
I can beat Dimon and any other challenger at flip cup any day of the week. JD’s got nothing.
- Vandy flip cup star
This is a version of cheers I could watch…
Jamie Dimon = Sam
Maxine Waters = Carla
Chuck Prince = Cliff
Dennis Kneale = Frasier
Sally Krawcheck = Dianne
Jimmy Cayne = Woody
“Dimons and Hymens” you know, to attract the younger crowd.
How about “Tchotchkes” or “Flingers”?
Will the waitstaff be required to wear flair?
@19 jd is unpopular? what planet are you living on?
399 Park.
@28:
Planet Dimond?
Anal_yst@17 363 Madison?
Cayne’s House of Pain
Dimonation
dimon girlz
383 MADISON AVENUE
The Chocolate Starfish, make it a gay bar
@31- you mean 383 Mad? He’s gotta leave JPM, he can’t just run downstairs and open up a dive bar on the street level.
@37 oh yeah? who’s gonna stop me?
-JD
If not any of those, how about “Dimon’s Hardest Known Substance?”
Honk n’ Hoes to Go
Dining in the Sky with Dimon
Dimon Cutters?
“Ken’s Place”
Dimonite’s?
Jamie@38-
I want to get freaky, and I’d rather not do it at 383. Please. I need this.
-M. Cavanagh
@37
The lawyers told me if I repay the TARP money…
-Ken Lewis
Sandy’s shit-hole
De house of de beers.
Nickels and Dimons?
Cheap shots
-A. Schwartz
He should bring in bob diamond as a partner and call it Dimon & Diamonds
alan@50- let it go.
Dimon’s Hole
I think he’s obligated to open it up on 47th street in the dimond district.
@54:
That’s a good one too: The Dimon District.
“Lucy in the Sky with Dimon”
A Dimon Dozen Bar
Dimon’s Demons Bar and Grill.
Jimmy D’s House of Snacks
Bank One, you mo’s love this
I now have DeBeers ads every time i refresh the comments
Don’t forget to TARP your server!
@61 probably because blood diamonds are an official sponsor of this site.
http://dealbreaker.com/2009/09/thanks-to-this-weeks-advertise-1.php
Jimmy’s Shack Shake
The Mineshaft
Rep. B. Frank (D – MA)
Jamie’s Cereal Shack
The Cock-Pit
Barney Frank
Puts & Calls
- Former Lehman Quant
@48 well played.
How about a brewpub called Hopped Up? All the bad puns should be on the menu, not on the sign, except for the tagline: “Always Fresh, Never Diluted (much)”
Tarpy Dimon’s House of Cards?
Dimonatrix
-Meredith Whitney
The Slippery Cooter
Anal_yst @17: awesome. In that case I’d suggest ‘J. Pour-pint Morgan’.
A Dimon Dozen.
The Dimon Family’s Jewels.
Shine on (you) Crazy Dimon?
I’d like to B my W all over C & W’s face!
GloryHole
The Dime Bag
-Jimmy Cayne
Dimon’s on the Inside?
f****** stole my handle
He should call it “2 Dollars”
@12 – I’m disappointed nobody got the Cocktail reference.
Jimmy D’s $2 Cowboy Bar
All beer in cans and both food and decor cheap and bland.
@74 I see what you did there.
@74 FTW!
Dimon Geezer’s
Blue Oyster Bar-cue music
@84: You know how I know you’re gay?…..
“Dimonsaur BBQ”
JD in a three way partnership with Roger W. Ferguson, Jr and Stan O’Neill…Whisky and rib joint in Morningside Heights called Double Black Dimons.
subprime all star@91 love it.
-syracuse
Dimon Jim’s
Nickel and Dimon
Theotokos and the saints
Subprime Hangover (w/ unhappy returns)
1. Dimon’s Plate and Glass
2. Dollar4drinking Dimonz4Lunch
3. Real Dimonz Den
@16 bone up on your knowledge of the video vault
on that note, cocktails and dreams?