Update: 9/37 items have been consumed including both the Pop Tarts, one bag of the Animal Crackers, and the Famous Amos cookies. Challenger is going for a run at lunch to burn some calories and keep the metabolism going strong. When asked how the contestant was feeling thus far, the response was: "I love candy."
Update II: From the front lines: The "lunchtime run" gambit paid off in a big way as he downed over 10 items within an hour's time. He's up to 21 items consumed and nearly 5,000 calories deep. That being said, he's currently wearing a "thousand-yard stare" and looking pretty bad. In a stunning turnaround from the typical Detroit modus operandi, he may fail despite "giving it his all."
Update III: Outcome: FAIL. "He pressed on during the last hour, but looked and acted like a man defeated. He was offered a bargain: he would win a smaller prize (10,000 shares of Old Carco LLC) for finishing off tomorrow what he had left uneaten; he backed out of that challenge as well."
Earlier: Nothing To Fear: Steve Rattner Will Drag This Lil' Fella Across The Finish Line
Posted by Jefferies Quant , Sep 10, 2009 12:40PM
hardly a noble effort. at JEF we eat pieces of shit like this for lunch.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:41PM
Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:42PM
popcorn: popped or unpopped. discuss.
Posted by S-Rat , Sep 10, 2009 12:45PM
the genius here is simply yet to be revealed. It will come.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:47PM
too weak, won't follow
give me a call when you need another bailout, ass clown
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:49PM
i hate this kid.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:53PM
@3- Everyone already talked about this on the original post this morning, bitch.
-3
@7- I was busy this morning and I saw this post first-- I'm sorry!
-3/7
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 10, 2009 12:53PM
Jeff Macke was right. These car people are rètards.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:54PM
imma shit in this kid's mouth. see how easy the challenge is then.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:55PM
You see? YOU SEE???
-jmac (jeff macke)
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:55PM
@9 sick but good
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 12:56PM
I like turtles.
Posted by rick kimball , Sep 10, 2009 12:57PM
even the topless girls at my sex parties could do this.
Posted by CoveredLong , Sep 10, 2009 1:00PM
#12 is not Shredder, Bebop, nor Rocksteady.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:00PM
I'm getting all veklempt, talk amongst yourselves...I'll give you a topic..a GMAC analyst is in fact a a lower form of retard than a Jeffries analyst...discuss.
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 10, 2009 1:01PM
You want a real challenge fine.
Masturbate to climax while looking at a naked picture of Maria Bartiromo complete with frontal dingleberries while having Jeff Macke wisper in your ear what he would do to a car person with a roll of tin foil, 2 Fibercon pills, 4 Llsterine strips, Monday's copy of the Wall Street Journal and 2 gallons of Hi-C Ecto Cooler.
Posted by He Hate Me , Sep 10, 2009 1:02PM
@1 -- you guys eat pieces of shit for lunch? I think I'll be rescinding my acceptance of that JEF offer...
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:17PM
I love lighthouses.
You don't like lighthouses?...You suck!
Not my chair, not my problem.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:22PM
@naked grossest thing i've heard maybe ever
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:22PM
@naked- done.next.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:37PM
@ Naked/16 did that last night...no big deal...try doing it with Ruthie Maddoff taking a dump on DK as he blows a collie...now that's a challenge
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 10, 2009 1:40PM
@20,21 I think the three of us can all agree that if a challenge involves climaxing Sheryl Weinstein wont have a problem.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:43PM
@Naked/22 100% agreed
-21
Posted by HAM05 , Sep 10, 2009 1:48PM
@naked - GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!
Posted by Tax Chick , Sep 10, 2009 1:51PM
@HAM... you forgot your tin foil hat again! Now go get it, sit in the basement sucking your thumb, and rock back and forth.. it will be alright.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 1:53PM
Going for a run at lunch....
maybe he just ate the more starchy less sugary stuff this morning, making a run possible, whereas pounds of candy would have him puking after about a minute. Not a bad strategy. Everyone calls this weak, but I would bet those same people probably couldn't pull it off.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 2:00PM
@ns... nice fuckin ecto cooler reference
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 2:04PM
@26 car czar?
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 2:05PM
@14, 12 here. No I am not any of those people. This is me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 2:25PM
When are we going to get some meatball sandwiches in these damn vending machines?
Posted by Joe Mac , Sep 10, 2009 2:42PM
@Naked- That's my morning routine. D-Rat
Posted by volatilitysmile , Sep 10, 2009 3:10PM
@ HAM - get out of Naked's head!
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 4:21PM
How about an update, dear GMAC people??? Is he done yet, how many calories have been consumed up to this minute, what is left over (open and unopen), etc. Basics. Sheesh.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 4:42PM
gmac offices in ny or detroit?
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 4:44PM
this is a joke. Where are the real players?
Posted by Car Guys , Sep 10, 2009 4:50PM
He has consumed the following thus far:
Lay's Classic
Doritos Nacho Cheese
Sun Chips Harvest Cheddar
Baked Lay's Sour Cream & Onion
Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies
Bugles Original
Fruity Snacks Mixed Berry
Milky Way
Lorna Doone Shortbread Cookies
Combos Pizzeria
M&Ms Peanut
Twix
3 Musketeers
Skittles Wild Berry
Snack Wells
Starburst Original
Nature Valley Oat & Honey
Nature Valley Strawberry Yogurt
Pop Tarts Strawberry
Pop Tarts Brown Sugar
Zoo Animal Crackers
Plus some mints that got thrown into the bag without his knowledge
He has burned the "white towel" and claims to be going strong, but is stuttering and slurring words worse than JM on a bad day. I think I heard him mention something about an “out of body experience.” Someone placed a flier for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation on his desk, whose mission is of increased relevance in his life after the day’s events.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2009 4:58PM
lay-up
Posted by He Hate Me , Sep 10, 2009 5:41PM
SO???
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 10, 2009 6:11PM
damnit what happened!?!?!?!
Tell us about the FAIL!
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 10, 2009 7:26PM
just as expected, FAIL
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 10, 2009 7:49PM
Sadly, I find myself ceding some credit to the Car People as at least they've learned from their idiot brethren at countless Firms that when framing the spread for the food challenge, you remove any identifying or proprietary objects from the pic.
Sheesh, they can't put together a caloric spreadsheet but at least they've got enough sense to take a discrete pic, not sure what that says about them/everyone who didn't though...