What I need you to do for me right now is to just watch this video. It’s massage enthusiast Jeffrey Epstein being deposed re: spending time sans pants with a 15 year-old and it only lasts two minutes* because apparently the guy who has no problem jerking off in a towel while guests are in the room and wearing a wig and lipstick during sex is suddenly made to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed by the lead off question “Is it true that you have an egg-shaped penis?” So much so that Mr. Sensitive has to storm out of the room in a huff, when what he should’ve done was dropped trou and said “You tell me.” Since he didn’t, we’ll just have to assume he’s got something to hide.
Jeffrey Epstein Will Not Discuss His Manhood [Cityfile]
*Like Epstein. Ohhhh– you like that? Count it.
Jeffrey Epstein Will Neither Confirm Nor Deny The Allegedly Bizarre Shape Of His Penis
By Bess LevinComments (60)
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What the fuck is an “egg-shaped penis”?
Epstein goes knotting?
Christ Almighty, what is it with the pervs and their misshapen units?
@3 please let the record reflect that mine is not misshapen, just ridiculously small. thanks.
-berns
@3 could it be the fact they have a misshappen unit, leads them to become pervs? (Where is Dr. Mark Klein MD when you need him?)
god DAMN that’s some neck fat right there! god damn I say.
-larry summers, brother from another mother
>>>”Is it true that you have an egg-shaped penis?”
@1 .. explained it at 0:55
I’ll watch it later, but I’m wondering — are we talking chicken eggs, ostrich eggs, or what?
My understanding is that Ostrich eggs are massive.
The embarrassment never ends. First headlines, then jail and now depositions.
he looks so regal in that vid
she looked so legal in my wig
- JE
Somewhere, in a dark, damp basement in North Korea, this video plays on an eternal loop.
@9 you’ll watch it now.
Let me rephrase: Is it true that on various occasions you performed the “turtle” using the extra skin of your balls and the head of your egg shaped penis?
Can you confirm or deny prancing around doing what victims described as, “the mangina”, with your genitalia tucked betwixt your legs and your graying pubes serving as a woman’s unshaven mons pubis?
@8 – I can’t even think about watching / listening to that here.
-1.
@15 – and then I make the skin suit . . . and then it puts the lotion on its body . . .
@16 it’s just the audio that’s NSFW, don’t you have headphones?
OK, I watched it. Since the prosecutor did not specify the type of egg he was comparing to Jeffrey’s penis, it would be impossible to provide an accurate answer.
He was right to walk out. The prosecutor is incompetent.
nice @ that first result on Google image search:
http://images.google.com/images?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&=&q=egg-shaped%20penis&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
That was odd. If his member is tapered and doesn’t have a knob at the top, how does he avoid his hand slipping off and hitting himself in the face when he jacks it?
Here it is. someone clearly leaked a pic: http://www.deadprogrammer.com/photos/cthulhu-egg.jpg
@20
I’m too afraid to click that link. What is it?
I gotta couple of ostrich eggs in here
-CG
@23: be strong. besides I don’t want to be the only one with nightmares.
hahaha ‘im willing to continue’
what an egg-shaped dick that guy is
(see what i did there)
@21 – maybe he’s got a leash going from his wrist to his thigh?
So essentially JE has a butt plug for a penis.
Greg you should date this guy, it would make the transition easier
I have an egg shaped head
- SC
@ham- his other line “these are not my words” is also awesome.
What an egghead.
OK, I was careful to detach from the VPN before viewing this.
I think Paula Jones’ atty asked Bill Clinton a similar question. Apparently “Willie Clinton” made a left or right turn along the way. Somebody told me the medical term, but I’ve repressed it completely.
I guess the tape was filed with the court but given the subject matter you’d think it would be sealed.
i cant stop laughing – unintentional comedy at its best.
how do prosecutors do this with a straight face?
I got this while interviewing at SAC a bit back; it’s not about whether you get the answer right or not … they are looking for your thought process. You should begin by thinking broadly, then slowly narrowing down the situation to the answer. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong.
FYI the correct answer is: No, my penis is shaped like carnival game hammer (that’s the obvious part) but my balls are as smooth as eggs (the “extra step”).
@32 I believe you are correct. Several of my close friends have told me that is true
- Hillary aka Hill-Dawg
Lets just say it may be difficult for Jeffrey to “date” again…
I’m happy for you and I’m going to let you finish, but first I gotta’ say: that was awkward and I’m now wondering what to do since I feel dirty just thinking about what I just witnessed.
@Maxwell/22-
Holy shit. That thing needs to be censored, by someone.
Warning to others – don’t open that link. Its the gate to hell.
@36 Some people prefer thier partners that way
Greg Michaels
This post is worthless without pics.
whats wrong with a man wearing lipstick?
- Hank Paulson
I have an egg shaped merkhin made of collie hair
- DK
Who the Fuck is Jerry Epstein?
@34 excuse you, but that was a confidential interview and you signed papers saying you’d never mention that it happened to anyone, ever. and you never called me, you mother fucking pig.
-sc
when Spitzer is returning your campaign donations, you know youre a deviant fuck
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Epstein
good god that was some amazing unintentional comedy.
“I’m willing to continue.”
I’m gonna drink like Chaz tonight. I am going to try to forget the nightmare @22 linked to.
The horror….
@36 not so sure. doesn’t this recall the beer can vs. pencil debate?
@pfluger: want to drink away our pain together? Because I may not sleep tonight without a good half-dozen or more whiskies.
I don’t get it.
People with egg-shaped units don’t care about black people.
Yo Jeffery Im real happy for you an imma let you finish but my penis is the most mishapen of all time
- Knaye West
He’s a good egg…
greg michaels is in the dairy aisle at whole foods as we speak, choosing between battery and free range
@49, uhh, you got me
K-Fine and Merissa Ree next to each other is giving me a small-to-medium chubby.
I’d hit it. In fact, I have.
Are you kidding me?
how much did that prosecutor’s mommy and daddy pay to law schools for the kid to end up asking dudes about their mules?
only in fuckin florida!
TRB
just for the record the dude asking the qs is the attorney for the then 15 year old victim. The eggman has already done his time for the deed (i think it was for soliciting sex from a minor) and now it’s his turn to play atm (not a2m) in a civil suit. So to prove he actually exhibited said egg-shaped penis (as she described it in the criminal complaint)to said minor, said attorney would be wise to prove that the eggman’s joint is in fact egg-shaped.
@60 – you ignoramus. “Facts” and “logic” are not welcome here. In fact, they are expressly dis-un-not-ex-welcomed.
This is a site about gossip, conjecture, and pure, made-up wild-assed butt-yanked bullshit.