• 10 Sep 2009 at 10:47 AM

Just Be Cool, Be Calm…Act Natural…If You’re Nervous, Maybe Clean The Pipes Beforehand…We Don’t Want You Going In There With A Loaded Gun, This Is Serious Business.

By Bess Levin

Picture 15.png
Madoff On How to Scam The SEC: A Tutorial [PDF]

Comments (27)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    I like how he proved that all compliance people are just clueless blowjob hacks that were not very smart to begin with.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    You bet your ass I’m right. You don’t go
    out with a loaded gun, you empty the barrels!

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    Who is the “Mr. Vajayjay” they keep referring to?
    ~M. Stanford
    Honeytrap, South Carolina

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    Like the tag
    I still struggle to understand why someone who thought everything was legit would be so nervous about the SEC checkup. This guy was acting like Sherman McCoy.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    @4 who bernie or vijay?

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    Vijay

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    this guy gets more awesome with each passing day.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:58 AM

    Anyone seen my tweezers? I gotta take a leak….
    B. Madoff

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    @1, tell us, what else do you like about Berns?

  10. 10
    Posted by Perkins Maxwell | September 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Clear typo in line 3: “your best off” should obviously be “you beat off, you know, casual.” Particularly in context of Mark’s reply (“We’re trying to…just get it over with.”)
    Handjobs for the SEC: now we know how he got away with it.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    These are not the droids you’re looking for

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    @4 he doesn’t sound nervous at all to me. it just sounds like berns was forcing him to go through the routine.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    1 = bernie

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    great tags
    @perkins you might be on to something

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    @12 – I think Vijay originally contacted Berns about this because he was nervous.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    Bess, I love’s me a woman with a filthy mouth.
    Chaz

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    I jerk off before all big segments. Sometimes during.
    -cg

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:06 AM

    I jerk off while standing before the druries
    - cg

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    you know…you know..you know?…….you know?

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    YOU LIE!!
    Joe Wilson
    South Carolina

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    @1…are you suggesting former Enron traders went to work en masse for the SEC?

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    @19 you gotta believe

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    I jerked off during all my big dates. When I found a gal that wasn’t impressed, I married her.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | September 10, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    I jerk off when I move my bowels and watch the Westminster Dog Show.
    Dennis Kneale

  25. 25
    Posted by Lester Burnham | September 10, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    Look at me, jerking off in the shower.
    This will be the high point of my day. It’s all downhill from here.

  26. 26
    Posted by pfluger | September 10, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    When I take the little jambroni for a solo ride, I stain the ceiling with my manliness. I am that good.
    -cg

  27. 27
    Posted by John Arnold | September 10, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    @21 yes. That’s exactly what happened

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