1:03: Glasses, because this is a serious interview.
1:04: Get a load of that suit.
1:05: CG: “Just to clarify, when you say ‘Lloyd,’ that refers to Lloyd Blankfein, yeah?”
1:06: Tits Cabrera would like to know what it’s like being the CEO that sucks the most second only to Ken Lewis.
1:07 Tits isn’t trying to give J-Mack a hard time, but really, she wonders, when you think about how hard you’ve blown this thing over the last few years, how do you look yourself in the mirror?
1:15: CG: “Before I let you go…I have to ask…would you hold up a copy of my book?”
1:16: Tits: “I heard you cried this morning at a Town Hall with employees, is that true, puss?”
[Enough time has past that it's not awkward to change the subject from Mack's stepping down to a little dance I like to call, My Book.]
1:17: CG: I…
1:18: ….have
1:19: [uhhhhh, uhhhhh]
1:19: ….a…..
1:20: ….a…..
1:20: book co—
[Looks around expectantly for Mother Gasparino's meatloaf]
1:20: …comi—
1:21: …comi—
[Grabs for a piece of braciola, knocks serving platter over]
1:21: coming
1:21: OUT!!!
1:22: Here…oh my god…here it..
1:23: COMES!!!
1:24: My book.
1:25: Well, we will have to get you back here to do this sometime soon. Thank you Mr. Mack.
charlie looks so regal in that suit.
mack needs to punch tits mcc in the mouth.
“Just to clarify, when you say ‘Lloyd,’ that refers to Lloyd Blankfein, yeah?”
he actually said that.
The suit is so majestic. Totally accentuates his shredded biceps.
…waiting for book plug
mack: charlie, you’re a god damn simpleton.
why is tits mcc such a cunt?
Wouldn’t he rather sit down with Gorman? Or is the fresh goods exclusive to Maria?
he needs to kill mcc live on-air.
“Larry Fink is a friend of mine”
Did CG really just ask where “Mack the Knife” comes from ? What a jabroni. Everyone knows that one.
Fifty bucks says the Gasparino kid picks his nose.
How reary reary funny you arr are. Reary funny.
Seriousry seriousry funny.
Ohhhh I chuckre reary hard when I read you.
I’m serious.
good GOD caruso cabrera is a piece of shit
also, cg looks like crap
i did a double-take when i first saw JM on cnbc. it’s like obama being interviewed by a retarded child on knockoff sesame street.
@11 Double or nuthin’ he eats it.
@6– she has no gravitas. she’s a dennis kneale with tits. she asks “punchy” questions to get her noticed for her “journalism” rather than her cup size.
Weak. Bring back Charlie da Golden Gloves fighter. Shed the jacket Chaz, like Dykstra would do! Ditch the razor too.
What a tool…hahaha
Awww PORTERHOUSE!!!!
He lies!
@ 13 So true!
Gaspacini should write a cook book.
I am a genius.
CG
LLLOOOOOYYDD!
MCC: some seriously low-hanging fruit
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29548037@N08/2866099410/
CG: I want a hamburger, no a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog…
Johnny Mack Brown: You’ll get nothing and like it!
@20 and @21 are idiot.
@23 my eyes!
@23 That HAS to be shopped.
MCC loves men who cry.
Mack: Charlie, I’m having a party this weekend.
[pauses a beat]
Mack: How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?
Charlie’s book will outsell Sheryl Weinstein’s if he has to buy every goddamn copy.
Here is how Charlie should close every segment he talks about his book:
Food for thought so get a buffet plate, my book is going to be so phat you might gain weight
Christ, it’s already discounted, plus free shipping.
MCC – a face that caught on fire and was put out with an ice-pick, causing multiple puncture wounds in what she laughingly calls “her brain”
Don’t you people have homes?
@29
Based on her reaction I think Bess might beat him to it, and provide free copies to the DB commentariat.
Just like there was nothing wrong with being excited about Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, there is nothing wrong with being excited about the upcoming magnum opus of Charles Gasparino.
@15 – if 23′s picture isn’t photoshopped, it looks like gravitas hasn’t been kind to her . . .
Gazbag:
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #12,252 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)
Weinstein:
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #5,795 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)
Any questions???
@ 23– Just wrong man
CG: Do you know who that man was?
Johnny Mack Brown: Mitch Cumstein?
CG: No, no, that was Larry Fink
@29: At the end of the interview, Charlie said something about wanting to have the theme from 2001 played. If this could somehow be adapated to have Charlie rise, behind the planet, holding his book high, it would be outstanding:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWnmCu3U09w
Mack: Chaz, what did you shoot today?
CG: Oh, John, I don’t keep score.
Mack: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Chaz: By percentage of body fat.
You might want to take a look at the news coming out of Value Line — CEO offering to pay ~ $50 million and leave the business if the SEC doesn’t ass rape them.
@35- ba-dump-bump, tshhhhhh! looks like gravitas has left her sagging 6 inches. She’s on the same horizontal plane as Maggie Rodriguez but she looks a half a foot taller.
@Timely– Oh, might I?
Johnny Mack Brown: You know one of my greatest pleasures is playing golf at Purchase with young people like yourself.
CG:Ive often golfed with people from Merril Lynch
JMB: Oh, are you a..Roman Catholic? Well I’m afraid you cant come
“Ahhhhh you might Rabbit, ya might.”
Charlie, will you come loofah my stretch marks?
Johnny Mack Browne: What do you like doing?
CG: I like…skinny skiing, going to bull fights on acid
CG: Do you like my suit?
Johnny Mack Brown: Where di you come from, a scotch ad?
@41– you mean he got “shot?” by the way, who really says got “shot?” isn’t it “pushed or jumped,” which, in the case of what you are saying, could mean, jumped by a guy named bubba.
http://www.dailymarkets.com/stocks/2009/09/10/did-morgan-stanley%E2%80%99s-ceo-john-mack-just-get-%E2%80%98shot%E2%80%99/
“Oh would I?”
“Hunchback, hunchback, hunchback!”
@23 need a suspension handbridge for those babies.
@35 – Gravity always wins
-Thom Yorke
@50 huh?
Charlie: My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose.
John: Your uncle molests collies.
Dennis (suddenly paying attention): Hold on there just a MINUTE!
JM: Who’s youre tailor? Benihana?
@48:
View more of the Gasparino suit line and assorted fashions here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22gDYAfC8T8&feature=PlayList&p=36B0EC9A258E14DF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6
From the book’s praise page on Amazon:
“Gasparino is credited with breaking some of the more titillating tales of Wall Street misconduct.”
Stop, stop, stop! Don’t try to put your socks on(or no socks like Shia) to run out and buy the movie ticks, Spoiler alert here has totally killed off the movie.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1212755/Gordon-Gekko-returns-Wall-Street-Michael-Douglas-revisits-iconic-role-decades-on.html
I get shot all the time. But only for medicinal purposes.
“Need a Fourth?”
@ 58– Thanks for posting asshole!
Regards,
CG
Ma! The meatloaf! MA!! I never know what she’s DOing back there! Touch my book.
Stan, I like the cut of your jib.
Deary me. Is Bob Diamond turning into a MWLLOL(men who look like old lesbians)? And just how tall is Dick Fuld? Is this another case of Napoleon complex?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00mq36b/The_Love_of_Money_The_Bank_That_Bust_the_World/
Thanks @Jimmy. I could use a hit right now.
CG’s suit is outstanding.
“You’re gonna like the way you look — I guarantee it.”
@66:
Kiss my hairy ass, pal. When my book starts flyin’ offa da fuckin’ shelf, I’m goin’ to Mohans for some fancy custom shit. I’m tawkin’ fine fabrics, wide fuckin’ lapels, and a fuckin’ athletic cut. Cuz I’m fuckin’ ripped.
I got da brains, and da beauty, pal. Da suits will be next. Eat yer hearts out, you fuckin’ loser bloggers. I don’t give a shit about any of yous bastids.
-CG
@67 awesome
Who’s best suited to narrate CG’s book on tape, aside from Golden Gloves himself?
@69– no brainer. Sly Stallone, natch. “Yo, Becky!”
@70 -
I think Sly is a fine choice. Some other possibilities to consider.
- Vin Diesel. Any clip from the movie “Boiler Room” tells me he’d make a fine Chaz
- I’d go with DeNiro too, but he might be too old now. The old Raging Bull would have made a perfect Chaz.
- Of couse, any of the Sopranos actors would be good, but I’m thinking Big Pussy would be the best fit.
- Joe Pesci might be good
@71 – the Sopranos idea is good, but I’d go with Paulie.
@72:
Agreed. Paulie Walnuts would make a better Chaz than Big Pussy. He’d be perfect:
http://www.tv.com/tony-sirico/person/19585/viewer.html?flag=&i=18&gri=19585&grti=104&tag=main;show_photo_stream
Wideclops is polishing up those fuck me boots and sharpening the stiletto heels to a fare-the-well for Wallid Chumah.
I vote big pussy but he must walk to the recording session, eat/drink/smoke while reading the 1,700 page opus and do it in one sitting. I expect bathroom breaks.