ABCNews reports that the Grand Master of Ponz's Montauk beach house has sold in an all cash deal for "over the asking price" (which was $8.75 million) to an unknown buyer (take your best guess) with a love of Formica countertops. This news should please US Marshall Roland Ubaldo greatly, who went to bat for the home insisting it is "really breathtaking, simple, stylish, with an understated elegance" after CNN Money went to town on the place and its "smallish bedrooms," "unremarkable" layout, "lack of style," proximity to the beach that will probably result in the new owner drowning, and general taint of scandal. This might also serve as a teachable moment to Tim Geithner, whose Larchmont home remains unsold, about what sells in this market. In related news, Berns's Palm Beach pad and penthouse on East 64th are still available. You want a piece of this.
[Bernie's throne room.]
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:19PM
What can I say? I couldn't resist the hidden TV in the fireplace.
-CG
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:22PM
ronaldo looks so regal in that pic.
Posted by pfluger , Sep 17, 2009 12:24PM
@1/CG:
Congratulations! Its you! If I may:
-Does the view inspire you to write great works, docudramas based on actual characters?
-How are the advanced sales on the new book?
-Have you kicked the shit out of anyone recently?
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:25PM
chaz would look so regal perched on that bike taking a dump.
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:30PM
@4 let's pitch in and buy it for me.
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:32PM
fyi: I climaxed with this guy.
-sw
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:38PM
god I need that bathroom. I could write my my memoirs in there.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:40PM
I had sex in that beach house.
-you know who
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:42PM
how many rooms do you think ronaldo jerked it in?
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 12:44PM
@3
1) To be honest, I haven't been out back yet. I'm still invitin' people over, askin' 'em if they can find the TV. Fooled 'em all.
2) Don't know. My Jew business manager handles that stuff.
3) My lats.
-CG
Posted by pfluger , Sep 17, 2009 1:00PM
@10/CG:
Understandable.... Just getting settled in. Well, good luck with the purchase. You deserve it, man.
I'm hoping the view may inspire you to write. Maybe try a rugged, seafaring, brooding kind of theme this time. Kind of an intersection between "The Perfect Storm" and "Barbarians at the Gate." With that view, there will be absolutely no limits to your greatness, and your keen insights.
Maybe we can do some body surfing next summer. I'll bring some zeppolis.
Posted by Ma Ba , Sep 17, 2009 1:04PM
That place is sexy. Makin' me kind of randy...
-Ma Ba
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 1:06PM
Wow that house is so hideous not sure why anyone would want to even buy it.
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 1:12PM
@13 you got no fuckin taste.
-cg
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 1:13PM
@11
You sound like a smart kid. Keep your nose clean.
-CG
Posted by pfluger , Sep 17, 2009 1:25PM
@15:
Thanks, Charlie. Coming from you.... well just damn!
I bought 20 copies of your book, for all of my friends and family. Is there any way, if you might find a few minutes of spare time, and if its convenient, that you might autograph them for me? I don't want to be pushy or anything, and I know how busy you are breaking big, big news, but if you have just a few minutes, well, it would really make my friends happy.
They all love you, and think you're great. A hero of Wall Street. Just like Eliot Spitzer and Minnie Me (Andrew C.).
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 1:44PM
@16
Meet me at Campagnola tonight at 9:00; you can buy me dinner. You ain't a fruit, are you?
-CG
Posted by pfluger , Sep 17, 2009 1:56PM
@17/CG:
God no, Charlie, I'm not a fruit. I'll be there. I want to get your suggestions on how to change my image, too, after you sign the books.
Thank you Charlie.
-DK
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 2:35PM
Is that two toilets side by side, or just a reflection?
Posted by step on all the bids , Sep 17, 2009 3:22PM
One is a biday, holmes.
Posted by guest , Sep 17, 2009 7:50PM
Bidet.
Good day.