According to Vanity Fair, which ranks the duo at slot 69 (you see what they did there?) today on its annual New Establishment list. Einhorny is 87, and John Paulson, who's yet to prove himself to the magazine, is nowhere to be found. The Big Man, who was placed in the super demeaning spot of 99 (out of 100) last year did not make the cut this time around, nor did Ben Bernanke because, really, what has that guy ever done? Blankfein is the number one stunna, and to that end, Matt Taibbi, not present or accounted for, can suck LB's gold-plated scrot. Others to note:
4. Warren Buffett
6. Larry Fink
9. Jamie Dimon
43. Tyler Perry
86. Meredith Whitney
Update: Never let it be said that Vanity Fair doesn't have a pair. After fumbling around and fucking up Steve Cohen's online entry last year so that all of his "in the news" links went to stories about other guys named Steve Cohen, they've had the gall to stick him in an auxiliary list called "The Pit Stop." It's there that the magazine has singled out other money honeys (Steve Schwarzman, Bruce Wasserstein, etc) who've made the list in year's past only to fall off in 2009 and offered the pep talk that if they put their noses to the grindstone, maybe, just maybe, they'll have their honor of seeing their names alongside Maria Bartiromo's in 2010. Damien Hirst was also thrown in the mix, because, let's be honest, he's one trick pony, and the number of animal-in-formaldehyde fetishists are few and far between. He's not doing well unless Big Daddy's doing well (and with the cheddar he had to shell out upfront to cross-breed a collie with a CNBC on-air commentator for his latest piece, Big Daddy had better do very well).
Posted by 69, dude! , Sep 01, 2009 1:18PM
Funny.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:24PM
Too funny.
Posted by John Paulson , Sep 01, 2009 1:24PM
I wouldn't pose topless, so that bastard Graydon Carter blackballed me.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:26PM
Einhorn is Finkle.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:28PM
But at Vanity Unfair:
#34 ....... Billy Mays (posthumously)
#53........ "Sell Your Gold Guy" (Tuh-DAY.......)
#18 ....... Credit Report Dot Com Guy
#44 ....... DumbassTrader.com guy
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:30PM
Where's Tim Sykes?
Posted by pfluger , Sep 01, 2009 1:32PM
Where is Chaz on the list?
Posted by mw , Sep 01, 2009 1:33PM
big momma in da hizzous!
Posted by Mark Klein, MD , Sep 01, 2009 1:34PM
Where am I on that list?
--Mark Klein, MD
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:36PM
wtf am I, chopped liver?
-dennis kneale's sexually abused collie
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:37PM
Boss just said I didn't make the Vanity fair "list". I said I don't have a speech impediment.
~Tweet Trader
Posted by merkin capital partners , Sep 01, 2009 1:38PM
@2 What does that mean, really?
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:39PM
@12: "really" is an adverb. You can google those kind of things.
~Lt. Frank Drebin
Police Squad
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:41PM
Maria is clearly not talking about Bernie in that image!
~SW
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:41PM
So which large bank shit the bed today?
Posted by subway eat fresh , Sep 01, 2009 1:42PM
@14
She's talking about my $5 foot long.
Posted by vikram pandit , Sep 01, 2009 1:43PM
@15 can you shut the god damn fuck and stay focussed? namely on the fact that I didn't make this piece of shit? thx.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:43PM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/01/maria-bartiromo-presses-4_n_274024.html
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:44PM
@7
I am dah fuckin' list!
-CG
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:44PM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/01/maria-bartiromo-presses-4_n_274024.html
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:45PM
Vikram - I know you're a big deal in Punjabiland. People know you.
Btw - is it true that the Patel's are the jews of southeast asia?
Posted by sue hererra , Sep 01, 2009 1:47PM
i showed them my tits and still didn't make this thing? what gives?
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:47PM
Is Maria making some sort of rude gesture referencing something of Ms. Weinstein's?
Posted by mike tyson , Sep 01, 2009 1:48PM
that's it graydon carter, i'm going to fuck you til you love me. assholes will be eaten.
-mike
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:52PM
One of the Three Stooges made #6 on the list? WTF?
~AIG Quant
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 1:55PM
Clinton highre than Bono and Oprah. Go Bill!!
Posted by Burnett's Veiny Cock , Sep 01, 2009 2:00PM
Burnett looks like a dude in drag in this pic...
Maria B
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:02PM
What about me? JC tells me that I am a power bottom. That should be worth something.
LD
Posted by little mojoe , Sep 01, 2009 2:03PM
complete rubbish.....
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:11PM
What show were they doing when that image was made?
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:14PM
@30 - All Tit Fucking Vol. XI
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 01, 2009 2:21PM
Tag says it all. Wonder who Bartiromo blew (etc) for this one, and Burnett, I'm just at a loss there unless someone @ VF (Ahem Graydon) has a penchant for long-haired pre-pubescent boys.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:21PM
this list is meaningless without megan fox
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:29PM
Puts even the best banker spending sprees to shame. Don't know if any of us can claim 500k on coke: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26006020-401,00.html
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:30PM
No Megan Fox but her clubbed thumbs came in at #68
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:30PM
Marias haircut is so dated....
Its sorta 90s Anniston....meets Mama Leones hostess
She makes Erin look young which is miraculous
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:31PM
I"m seriously still waiting for an explanation as to why I was left off this thing. I'll wait, and I've got all day.
-vikula
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:32PM
They put Stevie in the Pit Stop this year.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Sep 01, 2009 2:33PM
we need hair and makeup on the set, stat! btw, how's that double chink working for ya erin?
boom, done!
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:34PM
Nevah myke a "V" shape with yer hends in Austrailiar unliss yer tilkin about a stock chott.
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Sep 01, 2009 2:36PM
36 FT friggin W
"Mamma Leone's Hostess" no one should ever refer to Maria B by any other name ever again. It's perfect.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:41PM
"train station" would've been top 20 on her own, but i guess going solo ain't her style...
Posted by Investorcluzo , Sep 01, 2009 2:54PM
oops, ment double "chin" not "chink"...cluzo is not a racist, so don't even go there...
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 2:55PM
What a tasty picture - right in between them...ahhhhh...
Hirst = The shit. Check it - http://www.trekbikes.com/us/en/stages/hirst/
Posted by stevie , Sep 01, 2009 2:57PM
@44 are you fucking kidding me? i woudln't even buy that piece of shit.
Posted by stevie , Sep 01, 2009 3:03PM
"He's not doing well unless Big Daddy's doing well (and with the cheddar he had to shell out upfront to cross-breed a collie with a CNBC on-air commentator for his latest piece, Big Daddy had better do very well)."
holy shit that'd better be for me. I'll charge 50&500 (million) if I have to.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:05PM
@46 Get back to sorting the mail fucko.
Posted by SC , Sep 01, 2009 3:06PM
@47 what are you talking about? that was a standard db comment and very funny. also, blow me, douche.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:18PM
@44 Real butterflies. In context, very nice.
VF put DH in the Pit Stop this year, too.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:21PM
@48 you can't just say that your own shit is funny and so be it. It's mob rule here and so far no one else thinks so.
Now go clean out your mother's old douche bag.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:23PM
@49 yes, we all read bess's update.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:23PM
@50 46 was funny. you sound bitter. why is that?
-not 46/48
Posted by Thurston Howell III , Sep 01, 2009 3:33PM
She's no Bess but Maria actually looks pretty good in that pic. She's been on the downhill trajectory for years but there is something going on there that is getting me feeling a bit on the turgid side of things. Erin looks like shit. Old and worn. The whole implant story is clearly a non-reality.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:36PM
@53 if bartiromo looks better than usual in that pic it's because it's over a year old.
Posted by Thurston Howell III , Sep 01, 2009 3:39PM
@54 - Thanks for the heads-up. There is hope for the implants yet!
Posted by bubble burster , Sep 01, 2009 3:41PM
@55 eb did not get implants. that was a retarded rumor perpetuated by the more "special" db readers based on a one-off joke by bess like a year ago that someone at cnbc had had work done.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:57PM
Wasted picture. Should have been a caption contest.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 3:59PM
So nobody else thinks VF got it just about right? Just about?
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 4:12PM
@57 wasted use of comment space. that picture is from over a year ago, and was caption contest fodder at the time. next time keep up.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 4:13PM
@58 no.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 4:19PM
Hypothetically, of course, but who is the six, and who is the nine? I'm thinking Maria's too heavy, but Erin was a college athlete.
Posted by guest , Sep 01, 2009 6:40PM
John Paulson doesn't care and will let his returns speak for themselves.
Posted by e_anthony58 , Sep 02, 2009 1:45AM
Erin should be insulted that she was put on the same level as Maria. I think Maria wants to do ANYTHING she can to keep Erin down. So low.