With the bonus rhetoric hitting a fever pitch ahead of the G20 slumber party, it might be time to take a step back and see whether or not the collective brain trust has actually come up with something. These are the people who speak for the most powerful countries in the world after all. If you discount the bit about imposing sanctions on banks that pay the always undefined “excessive” bonuses and look to the heart of the matter, there may be something worthwhile to discuss.
The primary complaint is clear: compensation packages have historically rewarded short term gains without thought for long term consequences. But the question is who are lawmakers really talking about, bankers or themselves? If you believe the words coming from the White House over the past few generations, no sitting president has ever caused a problem. He has always inherited them from his predecessors who were making decisions for short-term election gains at the expense of the long term health of the country.
So, as global leaders, this is your opportunity to lead by example. You want to demonstrate that clawbacks are useful tool for bankers? Offer to give up the proceeds of the book deal that inevitably follows the end of a term in office if the new guy winds up suffering from a mess you made. Do something that makes you financially accountable for your actions in office once you’ve left. This is your shot to prove to people that there’s no double standard here and you’re willing to put your money where your mouth is. It doesn’t sound so sweet when the tables are turned, does it?

In his last letter to investors at Body of Christ Capital, Pope Benedict noted that there is a circle of hell for those who commit sins in the financial arena, which is where you people will be burning while he and his boys enjoy the view from above while tapping that underage ass. Not to be outdone, Archbishop Rowan Williams weighed in on the situation last night, saying that, personally, he just doesn’t feel a sense of closure “about what happened last year,” and what he would like bankers to do about it is repent for what you’ve done or rot in hell. Unfortunately, his words lack the same get up and go as when Il Papa shouts “down on your knees!” (especially when they’re delivered over the course of a casual chat on BBC, and most especially with the professor look Will’s sporting) but you should listen to every damn thing he has to say nonetheless. He needs to feel your remorse. Show him you mean it. (He’d also like bonuses capped, and thinks that economists are a crock, but one thing at a time.)
Related: Catholic Church Thinks You’re All A Bunch Of Sinners
*Obviously this is possibly scary shit if you’re a god-fearing financier across the pond but will pale in comparison to the mother of all guilt trips being prepared as we speak for next weekend.

Lehman Says Barclays Got $5 Billion Discount, Wants Assets Back (Bloomberg)
“This is an opportunistic claim,” Barclays spokesman Michael O’Looney said. “Now that the economy has begun to stabilize the Lehman Estate is trying to re-trade the deal on the basis of a meritless argument.” Opportunistic claim Joe Gregory’s ass!
U.S. rebuffing big banks’ push to exit bailout (Reuters)
Not so fast Pandito!
Griffin Shifts Funds’ Strategy to Fortify Citadel (Bloomberg)
Fresh from a European vacay Ken Griffin is ready and raring to go. KG says the team is “solidly focused on the future,” Kensington and Wellington are back in the game, and the newly formed Royal Bank of Citadel will compete with Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley. As for last year’s meltdown, Kenny says he “was where he wanted to be on that Friday [before Lehman declared bankruptcy]” but if you’re going to back him into a corner, fine he will say this: “In retrospect, I wish I had had less leverage.”
Citi’s Parsons Said To Join Equity Firm (NYT)
New gig for Dick as senior adviser to Providence Equity Partners though he’ll stay on as Citi’s chair. Quit Vikram? Never.
Yankees Ticket Prices Coming Down For ’10 Season (CNBC)
40 percent off in the Delta Sky 360 Suite.
Wells CEO: Wachovia Integration ‘Is on Plan’ (WSJ)
John Stumpf also discussed the vice-president who partied in a foreclosed Malibu home, saying the incident “hurt” and that Wells Fargo will “review policies for employees who deal with repossessed properties to make sure such violations don’t happen again.”
Buffett: “I– I think the odds are very much against getting significantly worse. It’s sort of plateaued at the– at the bottom right now, but if you got some horrible exogenous event, some– some, you know, 9/11– type event or worse– you know, you could have something that would be dis– really disruptive and start things all over again.” (CNBC)

Technically speaking or not, Senate Banking Committee Chairman Chris Dodd is not ready to jump on the Beard’s bandwagon and proclaim the recession over.

“I don’t think it’s over,” Dodd said in a conference call with reporters this afternoon. While Dodd said the economy is showing several signs of rebounding — “I appreciate the fact that we’re not talking about [a] depression any longer” — and said he is optimistic, he also acknowledged that the recovery is not yet complete.
“It’s clear it’s getting better,” Dodd said. But, he added, “we have a long road ahead of us.”

Evidently the guy at the helm of the forthcoming regulatory overhaul bonanza likes his chances of success.

As was expected, the TARP babies made their mandatory announcements yesterday re: what sort of “luxury expenditures” they were will to part with while Tim Geithner owns their asses. Bank of America said it encourages use of the corporate aircraft on business trips for “safety and efficiency reasons” but on the off-chance you’re not creative enough to come up with something as good as “I needed to stretch my shit out,” don’t worry– they will not be requiring anyone to get pre-approval or reporting the jaunts. Pandito pledged to not use the jet for personal use. Chrysler Financial said no one can fly first class if it’s a short flight. AIG promised not to throw celebratory events except those “acknowledging key AIG career milestones” such as making it back to the office after a successful vacation in Croatia and making the right choice between taking the tunnel and the bridge and beating rush hour traffic. And BAC brought up the issue of pimping out one’s work space and sent a message to John Thain that they will never let this one go. Whenever there’s an important milestone in his life, they’ll be there, whispering “George IV chair.” When he makes his triumphant return to Wall Street, they’ll be there hiring one of those planes that writes messages in the sky, noting “$25,731 Mahogany pedestal table.” When he straps on the singlet, steps on the mat and starts shadow wrestling, calling out ‘Lewis!’ Ken will be there, hammered like a drunk step-father, slurring and heckling “$35,000 commode!”

Office or Facility Renovations
Anything in excess or beyond reasonable variation of standard and not having senior management approval is considered “prohibited” and not acceptable for implementation. Examples include expenditures for specialty or antique furniture, customized finishes, and construction of non-standard office sizes or private restrooms.

It looks like the Dutch executive compensation crusade was designed to atone for more than tax renegade members of the royal family. European regulators, once concerned there wasn’t going to be enough help to save major institutions, are now taking a close look at whether the Dutch government supplied too much help to hometown favorite ING. The bank received a €22 billion guarantee to backstop its US MBS portfolio. But while the amount may be significant, the European Commission’s issue has more to do with how the government arrived at that figure.
In the midst of the credit crisis, when bids on MBS were tough to come by and even tougher for the seller to stomach, a structured finance advisory firm, Dynamic Credit, put the value of ING’s portfolio at 90 cents on the dollar. That figure sounds a tad bit high to some in the European regulatory community who are now considering giving ING a slightly less sensational figure, which would do quite a number on the bank’s capital base. The EC wants to make sure banks are operating on a level playing field and select firms don’t receive preferential treatment. So European regulators don’t want to get into a game of picking winners and losers. Too bad that sort of thinking wasn’t around one year ago today.
ING’s State Help At Risk [Forbes]

Sir Allen’s lawyer, Dick DeGuerin, may have learned a thing or two since he took on the responsibility of defending Cuban cricket’s best friend. Claiming he hadn’t received any assurances that Stanford would actually pay for his services, DeGuerin wanted out of the circus and today he got his wish. CNBC is reporting that Sir Allen will now pin his freedom on the ability of a court appointed attorney to explain away his actions. Or at least he will until he realizes that having said “I’ll die and go to hell if it’s a Ponzi scheme”, there may be a lot more on the line than originally thought. Should that realization take place, we sincerely hope Texas’s least favorite son will do us all a favor and decide to represent himself. Playing the role of amateur attorney, Stanford should provide even more evidence that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client.

I sense some judgment from the Bloomberg reporter here re: the Oracle Of O not knowing how to check voicemail to which we say, why should he? Big B’s got 5 nubile young secretaries perched on his desk hired exclusively for that purpose (in addition to, of course, being available on the ready for some motorboating action, and feeding him Oreo Blizzards).

Billionaire Warren Buffett said he was approached a year ago about insuring Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.’s assets before the investment bank filed for bankruptcy and didn’t receive financial documents he requested.
Buffett was asked about backing Lehman while Barclays Plc weighed a bid for the firm, he said today at a conference. He didn’t receive the information that he requested be sent to him by facsimile and later learned that there was a voice mail that he missed because he didn’t know how to retrieve it, Buffett said. New York-based Lehman filed for bankruptcy a year ago.

Update: A Fortune reporter caught up with WB later and he had this to say, which makes me question the whole story:

I caught up with Buffett afterward, and asked him whether, in retrospect, he might have gone for the deal. He pulled the simple little Samsung phone out of his pocket and pondered it for a moment. It’s entirely possible, he suggested. “I don’t know.”

I would possibly buy the “I don’t know how to check voicemail line” if he was one of those olds who, like, didn’t interact with technology whatsoever. Had other people check his email, had an assistant carry his phone and take calls, etc. The fact that he has the cell in his pocket seems to indicate he knows damn well how to how to retrieve a message, and that this story is a crock, cooked up for the ladies in the audience (the conference was for Fortune‘s Women In Power), which would obviously make sense.

It’s been a good couple of days for the bulls- the Chicago Bulls that is. While His Airness was being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, former teammate and eye wear trendsetter Horace Grant scored a victory of his own. Morgan Keegan was ordered to pay Grant just under $1.5 million for his mutual fund losses. His lawyer, Andrew Stoltmann, said the firm attempted to make the case that the high yield bond funds they put former #54 in qualified as “conservative investments appropriate for retirees looking to protect their principal”. Good thing Morgan Keegan didn’t make this pitch to Favre- he could have sued them on multiple fronts.