Also, is this a test run to see what viewers think of the idea of playing the Girls Gone Wild video over guests on loop regardless of the segment?

The mortgage lenders who have turned their avoidance of the Obama administration’s modification initiatives into a game of catch-me-if-you-can are starting to feel the heat. Deciding the courts do not have enough lawsuits in the pipeline, some bankruptcy judges are giving scorned borrowers their very own Jerry Springer moment.
An Arizona woman, Bobbi Giguere, who submitted the paperwork Wells Fargo requested to process her modification application three times and received virtually nothing but radio silence in return was given the opportunity to question a senior vice president at Wells Fargo Home Mortgage Servicing, Joseph Ohayon, in court. And, much like Springer, people in this case have a hard time telling the truth until they are face-to-face with the other party.

Under preliminary questioning by one of the bank’s lawyers, Mr. Ohayon stated that Mrs. Giguere had repeatedly failed to provide a financial worksheet, a critical document in processing a loan modification.
Under cross-examination by Mrs. Giguere (who had a little assistance from Judge Haines), the bank’s defense withered. From her files, Mrs. Giguere produced a letter from Wells Fargo describing the paperwork that she needed to file for a loan modification. In the witness chair, Mr. Ohayon read the letter.
“Mrs. Giguere is right,” Mr. Ohayon concluded. “The letter did not ask for a financial worksheet.”

Sadly for Mrs. Giguere, the hearing ended much the same way as a Springer episode- with her exposing Wells Fargo for blatantly lying, Wells Fargo looking a bit foolish but walking away scot-free, and the judge reminding everybody ’till next time, take care of yourself and each other’.
Judges’ Frustration Grows With Mortgage Servicers [NYT]

Bankrupt Ex-Met Dykstra Accused of Taking $40,000 French Stove (Bloomberg)
Dykstra was “apparently in the process of stripping furnishings, fixtures and equipment from the estate property,” Index Investors said in an Aug. 19 court memorandum, “doubtlessly to fuel his lifestyle at the expense of his creditors.”

Europe Finance Chiefs Push To Limit Bonuses (NYT)
Words like “insatiable greed” and “destructive irresponsibility” are being thrown out.
Cow Urine, Herbal Remedies Gain as India Swine Flu Deaths Climb (Bloomberg)
Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.
Feisty NY Gals Kick Some Ash (NYP)
Apparently some ladies took issue with Spitzer’s hooker’s insinuation yesterday that everyone else is a whore, too.

No Pity For Citi (NYP)
Post graphics department continues to win it.
Charlie Gasparino: “When you’re humping your book, you’ll do anything.”

The guy once known as “Mean Gene the Hitting Machine”, Eugene Lockhart, was taken down by the FBI today on charges of committing bank and wire fraud. Following the lead of straight-laced teammates such as Michael Irvin, the ex-Cowboy now finds himself defending allegations that he was involved in a $20 million mortgage fraud scheme.

Lockhart was involved with several real estate entities, many of which incorporated either “America’s Team” or “Cowboys” in their names, (Dallas U.S. Attorney James T.)Jacks said in a statement released by his office. The conspirators concentrated on distressed or pre-foreclosure properties in the Dallas area and utilized investors as “straw borrowers” to falsify mortgage applications, Jacks said.

While Lockhart’s arrest is certainly a set back for him, he should take comfort knowing he performed a public service here. Getting involved in this relatively clever scheme helps dispel the myth that, Najarians aside, ex-NFL players barely have the mental firepower to sign the royalty checks coming in from the car dealerships they slap their names on to.
Former Cowboys Linebacker Eugene Lockhart Indicted [Bloomberg]

The family feud taking place between the UK and the Caymans is starting to get chippy. Convinced that Mother England’s rationale for not allowing some much needed allowance money is a serious case of tax envy, Anthony Travers, head of the Cayman Islands’ Financial Services Authority (CIFSA) wants the world to know that jealousy, not credit risk, it the real reason for the UK’s decision to deny it emergency loans.

“We believe there is another agenda, which seems to have more to do with the competition for financial services and concern that unreasonable tax rates in G20 countries will cause an exodus of people and financial services companies.”

Not to be outdone, Foreign Office Minister Chris Bryant calmly informed the Caymanian people that there are simply not enough trust fund babies in the world for the islands to remain on the OECD’s grey list.

“It would be unwise, I suspect, to rely too heavily on a rapid improvement in trust fund income or to expect that the Cayman Islands’ prosperity can presume on an off-shore tax haven status.”

The UK has made their stance on taxes and regulation well known. Of all places, they should know you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Cayman Islands says competition prompts UK stance [Reuters]

Sorry if this comes off as insensitive to the victims, but does this guy not just get more awesome by the hour? And the SEC, if possible, more retarded?

One investigator described Mr. Madoff as “a wonderful storyteller” and “a captivating speaker” … the examiner said he found it “interesting” but also “distracting” because they were there “to conduct business.” As to why Madoff did not collect fees like all other hedge-fund managers, they accepted his response that he was not “greedy” and was happy with just receiving commissions.

Of course, Berns really didn’t even have to go into such elaborate tales in order to pull the Ponzi over these people’s eyes. It sounds like a simple “Hey, look over there!” or “No further questions” would’ve sufficed.

There were also simple bureaucratic foul-ups, like the one in which different branch offices of the S.E.C. were both looking into the operations of Mr. Madoff. “Astoundingly, both examinations were open at the same time in different offices without either knowing the other one was conducting an identical examination,” Mr. Kotz noted.
“In fact, it was Madoff himself who informed one of the examination teams that the other examination team had already received the information they were seeking from him.”

Basically, Day One at Clownface College needs to be “The Pencil Sharpener: No Matter How Curious, Do Not Stick Your Dick In It.”

Madoff Was A ‘Wonderful Storyteller,’ Says SEC Employees [Daily Intel]

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You have to give Chuck Schumer credit. He is trying to solve New York and the country’s problems as fast as possible and he is consistent. A day after calling for more money for struggling dairy farmers and more money for flood victims in Western NY, Schumer has a plan to avoid a Bernie repeat.

“A major part of the SEC’s problem is that its annual budget is lacking in resources,” said Schumer, a senior member of the banking committee that oversees the SEC.
“I am proposing that we fundamentally alter the way the SEC is funded … I am introducing legislation next week, when we get back to Washington, so the SEC can use fees from institutions it regulates to fund its necessary operations.”

Who cares if there is an expensive tie that binds the three plans together? Maybe Chuck took a look at what’s going on in Yankee Stadium this season and figured if throwing money at a problem works for Joe Girardi, it could work for the entire nation. But if history is any guide, given that King Ponz was once reportedly on the short list to head the SEC, Schumer better be satisfied going 2 for 3.

Things are getting a bit heated in the Make Benefit Glorious Nation. Kazakhstan’s largest lender, BTA Bank, recently received an unexpected initial payment in connection to its lawsuit against the Alem Art Foundation and local newspaper Respublika. Having defaulted on over $12 billion in debt, BTA sued the newspaper in connection to a story which created a run on the bank; it is also trying to recoup a charitable donation made by the bank’s former management to the art foundation.

In response, artist Kanat Ibragimov and Respublika reporters tried to send seven pair of underwear to BTA’s Chief Executive Officer Anvar Saidenov and Chairman Arman Dunayev, Respublika reported. “I’m sending them my underwear in a desperate gesture during this time of blatant reactionism after a decade of peaceful life in Kazakhstan,” Ibragimov said by telephone today in Almaty…”The only thing left for artists whom the government’s actions have deprived of hope is to take off their underpants,” he said.

As long as BTA can solve for ‘?’, this underwear-based transaction initiative could be a real boon for the bank.