Look, I'm not saying this is a bad idea, but why must everything out of the Securities and Exchange Commission sound so god damn dumb? "Fraud college"? Is sticking "college" on the end of it supposed to make the thing seem prestigious? Like Hamburger University? It's called telling people how to do their jobs, and not get the shit ridden out of them by the most famous dick in the world. It doesn't need a name (though kudos for having the restraint to not call it the "fraud institute"). And then you have Dean of Students Schapiro chiming in that this unbridled genius blows her mind?
The Securities and Exchange Commission may create a "fraud college" to train staff in detecting market abuses after the agency failed to stop Bernard Madoff's $65 billion Ponzi scheme, Chairman Mary Schapiro said."The fraud college concept is a great one," Schapiro said today at a joint meeting with the Commodity Futures Trading Commission in Washington. Coordinating fraud-detection training with the CFTC "would be particularly valuable," she said.
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:44PM
Mary Schapiro School For Kids Who Can't Find Their Heads From Their Asses, And Want To Learn To Do Other Stuff
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:45PM
clown college is right
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:46PM
it's unfortunate this mary chick wasn't around when I was running my business. you know i love blonde women. i would've tapped that ass so hard. you dont even know.
-berns
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:47PM
I wonder if they would let me lead an online class?
BM
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:48PM
Fraud College?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1hnwvWhbJw&feature=related
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:50PM
I'm a college fraud. Should I apply?
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Sep 03, 2009 2:51PM
Hey Mary, your mom goes to college.
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Sep 03, 2009 2:51PM
Hey Mary, your mom goes to college.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Sep 03, 2009 2:52PM
Nice to see everyone has 20/20 hindsight. Even is someone had an MBA from Fraud College and an internship at Dewey Cheatum & Howe, there's no way they could have suspected what Bernie was up to.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 03, 2009 2:53PM
Or they could, ya know, hire people who already know wtf they're doing, but I mean whatever
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 2:57PM
Bernie M. does not approve of Fraud U...he comes from the school of hard knocks.
...and isn't prison generally considered 'crime school'...why don't we just send the SEC to jail if they're so eager to learn? Now THAT'S an idea!
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:00PM
Hey guys, what I miss?
Porker Stansberry
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:03PM
more like clownface college
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:04PM
@13 true story!
-bernie
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:04PM
actally, sorry, i think actually did bang that broad.
-berns
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:09PM
Asher Roth loves this idea.
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 03, 2009 3:10PM
WIth 14 returning starters, an improving defense and solid talent to replenish the quarterback and running back positions, Fraud U is poised to earn a New Year's Day bowl bid for the second straight year, something the Fightin' Scammers havent done since 1987-88.
Thanks to the absense of Ponzi State from this year's schedule, making a run at a share of the conference title is not out of the question for a team that finished only one game behind the Big House champion Ponzinators a year ago.
From Year 1 to Year 2 under new coach Bernie Madoff, the Scammers improved from 2-6 to 4-1 in games decided by seven points of less. That trend must continue.
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:11PM
CFA, MBA or Fraud College?
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:27PM
First rule of fraud college is there is no fraud college.
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Sep 03, 2009 3:28PM
"Christ. Seven years of fraud college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps."
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:28PM
Hopefully there will be an elective on the benefits of applying make-up.
Geez woman...
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:37PM
I did learn to apply make up, new looks becomes me so well (or so I am told).
berns
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:41PM
Earth to Mary - just quit already and let someone qualified do the job.
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:52PM
"Fraud College"??? They are talking about Harvard aren't they?
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:53PM
@24 - More like Wharton but you got the drift
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:53PM
I don't think her hand gestures are referring to Madoff in any way.
~The Observant Trader
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 3:55PM
@24 well played sir, well played
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2009 5:02PM
Now, seriously folks. How much is "Fraud College" really supposed to help people who were presented with a paper that said "his trading strategy is impossible because the volume of trades required for it to work is more than any exchange has ever reported?"
What's needed is something like fraud Pre-K.
Let's start with coloring, move on to Dr. Seuss (the 7-bunt Whunt for starters), and we'll deal with more complicated items as they arise.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 03, 2009 6:31PM
@28
GTFO with your logic, facts and sh*t, this is the SEC we're talkin' about here, those things are erroneous, moot, irrelevant, etc!
Posted by Jennifer , Sep 04, 2009 12:29AM
Send them the movie "Stock Shock" for an education. This new film explains the whole process of market manipulation and is a pretty good movie. On DVD only, of course. Amazon has it or stockshockmovie.com
Posted by Jennifer , Sep 04, 2009 12:29AM
Send them the movie "Stock Shock" for an education. This new film explains the whole process of market manipulation and is a pretty good movie. On DVD only, of course. Amazon has it or stockshockmovie.com
Posted by Jennifer , Sep 04, 2009 12:29AM
Send them the movie "Stock Shock" for an education. This new film explains the whole process of market manipulation and is a pretty good movie. On DVD only, of course. Amazon has it or stockshockmovie.com
Posted by guest , Sep 04, 2009 5:16AM
Give Mary a break. She nailed Tyler Durden for insider trading while at FINRA. I hear he's going to be an assistant professor at FU.
Posted by guest , Sep 04, 2009 10:09AM
As a lowly individual investor, I find this post amusing. Yeah the SEC screwed up with Madoff, but what about the morons who brought us into the worst economic debacle in decades? I'm not convinced that Wall St is operated by a bunch of geniuses either.
Posted by guest , Sep 04, 2009 10:11AM
As a lowly individual investor, I find this post amusing. Yeah the SEC screwed up with Madoff, but what about the morons who brought us into the worst economic debacle in decades? I'm not convinced that Wall St is operated by a bunch of geniuses either.
Posted by guest , Sep 04, 2009 10:12AM
As a lowly individual investor, I find this post amusing. Yeah the SEC screwed up with Madoff, but what about the morons who brought us into the worst economic debacle in decades? I'm not convinced that Wall St is operated by a bunch of geniuses either.
Posted by guest , Sep 04, 2009 10:18AM
My blackberry browser is having issues - apologies for the repeat comments above.