• 29 Sep 2009 at 9:03 AM

Swine Flu Outbreak At UBS?

Possibly, according to some of our favorite tax evaders in town, who were told not to come in for the day. Of course, they may be jumping to conclusions, and it could have nothing to do with a pig disease outbreak at all. It could very well be that UBS is shutting down. Or it could be herpes.

The incoming associate and analyst training for today was canceled. We do not have firm issued Blackberrys yet so they emailed us at our home address and told us not to come in. There have been a lot of people missing class due to health issues so this must be flu related. We have already had a bunch of people go to the hospital this week with the flu, and the room was full of coughing yesterday– you could just tell there was something going around. Must be a swine outbreak.

If you’ve got something to share, cold sores-related or otherwise, get in touch.

Comments (18)

  1. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:05 AM

    Yay Bess you are back!!!

  2. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:07 AM

    UBS sucks big time!

  3. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:09 AM

    ubs sucks swines with the flu

  4. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    they’re just having an internal documents shredding session and don’t want any prying eyes.
    -oswald

  5. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:18 AM

    try covering your mouths when you cough shit for brains!

  6. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    Pussies, my people work through the pain, they don’t let a little piggy cough stop them from dominating the world.
    -Lloyd B

  7. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:20 AM

    @6 yet another reason to keep kosher, right?

  8. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | September 29, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    Bess welcome back! Was 24 hrs sufficient to atone for all your sins?

  9. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    Bess, don’t you have swine flu???

  10. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:31 AM

    surely it spread across the street from RBS?

  11. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:36 AM

    unlikely that its herpes as that would mean someone at UBS is sexually active.

  12. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:40 AM

    @10 I know I personally gave every RBS employee the clap, so this is highly probable.
    -fred goodwin

  13. Posted by Mark Klein, MD | September 29, 2009 at 9:41 AM

    From the associate’s description, I’m inclined to diagnose ass lobsters.

  14. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:46 AM
  15. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    UB Sick

  16. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    ghonorrea outbreak at Citi this week and yet we’re still expected to make it into the office. what gives?
    -vp

  17. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Oink oink oink oink.
    Meep meep?
    OINK OINK!

  18. Posted by guest | September 29, 2009 at 10:42 AM

    I would never let this riff-raff through our doors.
    - Bouncer Pandit

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