We’ve just started reading the monstrously long Esquire article on Barclays buying Lehman (ten pages online? Be serious), but wanted to get this out there now in case any of you are in the midst of a dry spell and were looking for some inspiration re: how to nail an employee from one of the greats:
He has a habit of taking off his suit jacket and slinging it over his shoulder before sitting on the edge of one of the trading desks — a habit that his traders describe as his move, as in, “he has this thing he does with his jacket, when he wants to talk to us, it’s his move…”
If anyone else– Llloyd– has some patented seduction techniques, whether your own or ones that have been used successfully on you by your boss to share with the group, please do so at this time.
“He has a habit of taking off his suit jacket and slinging it over his shoulder before sitting on the edge of one of the trading desks.”
I do the same thing with my pants.
-CG
What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentlemen? Wait…no, no, no. Black Beard’s Delight?
I used to like to sneak up behind people when they were sitting and slap them in the face with my cock.
Jeff Macke
such a don juan this guy is!
Let me ask you a question. This new move, is there a knuckle involved in any way?
he’s got huge hands. just sayin.
-sw
I would molest him like a collie on E.
Dennis Kneale
ps: MEEEEEEEEEP!
I just drop trou. works every time.
-berns
Goddammit Bob here is another fucking thread that is going to get pulled. Next time tell your friend not to whip out his iPhone and snap a pic of you UNTIL Lehman’s super awesome proprietary information has been wiped off the grease board.
I come up behind them and whisper in their ear, “You wanna take a ride on the ice smoothing machine?” Works every time.
I chub up in the shower, don a pair of unlined short shorts, drop a dumbell from waist height, and then lunge into a squat for the money shot.
astanford@bop.us.gov
I perch on the side of the desk and ask, “Do you want to tickle this vickle?”
Tom Junod walks into a bar…bartender asks “why the long face?”
I just tell them I am Charles Gasparino and they usually just drop trow right then and there.
CG
I lightly tap the scrot and give a soft “whoo”…
-Ashley Schaffer
Da broads dig it when I get da little sweat beads on my head. Cuz I got dese killer sex phrenomes in my fuckin’ sweat. When I start to sweat (eatin’ or pumpin’), I gotta fight da broads off. Its fuckin’ sick. I rarely use deodorant. Between my celebrity and my sex phrenomes, I could put da moves on any-fuckin-body.
-CG
I show her my bathroom fixtures. Works every time.
I pull up a chair to the desk and go, “My head isn’t the only thing that’s shorn.”
10/12/17/18- great work all around.
I get on my knees, open my mouth and remove my glasses. Hank and Ben said its a lot more fun if the goo gets on your eye lids and eyebrows.
-Ken Lewis
I cross my legs. Then I slowly uncross them. Then I cross them again.
It’s so human
@21 you too?!?!
he tried this shit on me, I was having NONE OF IT.
Becky Quick just winks her lazy brown eye at you if she is in the mood.
I like to approach them slowly, maintaining direct eye contact at all times. Then I extend my hand, also slowly. After they’ve sniffed it and are at ease, I bury my nose in their ass and then move in for the 6-nipple rub.
My wad speaks for itself.
Good God!! On that marker board is the secret plans to our salesmarked ST Capital “RCap Product” targeted for southern Colorado municipalities!!!!!
And they said they weren’t interested!!!
~Neil Downenbiter
Pullin Urlegg Capital Management
Looks like he’s shooting some sort of gang sign signal to Sheryl Weinstein.
I am not now nor have I ever been a banker of any sort.
~Neil Diamond
How reary reary funny you arr are. Reary funny.
Seriousry.
@31 are you addressing anyone in particular or just commenting as fast as you can before your computer privileges at the asylum are over for the day?
I give them a glimpse of my Druries, just enough to let their mind wander. Then I ask the hard hitting questions.
Side note: if it’s a really tough topic I throw on the pearls just to throw a little more inuendo in there.
I grab my blackberry like it’s ringing in a tone that only I can hear and I go, “Sorry, babe, gotta take this,” and I roll my eyes and silently mouth “It’s Ba-rack,” and then I’m all, “Hey, Cool Breeze, what can I do you for?” [beat] “actually I’m having a pretty deep convo with my star intern right now, can I call you back in five?” [Beat] “Beautiful, bro. ciao.”
@34 ftw
@34 FTW
Charlie is coming up, with a heavily hyped EXCLUSIVE (!) interview with Mack. The self promotion should be thick. Let’s hope so.
I scream who’s your dad…um I mean who’s your CEO!
Drop a pube on their soft drink of choice
-guess who
@39 wait I dont get it who would (jokingly) do that?
@39 Shit, bro, last time I saw you you were in a long black limo with a coupla hos. Where you been?
God bless you, Joke Briefer.
tie/shirt combo – epic/fail.
Same bullshit as every article…..they called Dimon at greek restaurant…then Diamond at Smith & Wollensky…blah.blah…..same crap as last 99 stories
“Bob Diamond?
Good guy, great with people. Charismatic. Has built a culture of decency at Barclays from the top down. Doesn’t like to hear bad news, though. Will sometimes stand up and leave a meeting if the news is bad. Or will stop somebody midsentence — “Why are you telling me this?” So if you talk to Bob, you better tell him good news.
Because Bob Diamond is a good-news guy.”
@10, Stevie you know G.D. well that is a Zamboni, not an “ice smoothing machine” — who the hell says that, a Jai Alai fan?
Love the tags, Beth. Better than usual.
I missed you joke briefer…please never vanish for such long periods of time again. How else will we understand Greg’s posts?
I missed you joke briefer…please never vanish for such long periods of time again. How else will we understand Greg’s posts?
I missed you joke briefer…please never vanish for such long periods of time again. How else will we understand Greg’s posts?
The Esquire article could not possibly be any more poorly constructed. What a pile of dog shit.
@45 That’s what they used to call me: the good news Gorilla. I didn’t like to hear bad news either. Like that my CMBS book was about to implode and tht Mark Walsh was a crook.
These days my good news is that I am not in prison.
Dick Fuld
@45 That’s what they used to call me: the good news Gorilla. I didn’t like to hear bad news either. Like that my CMBS book was about to implode and tht Mark Walsh was a crook.
These days my good news is that I am not in prison.
Dick Fuld
@45 That’s what they used to call me: the good news Gorilla. I didn’t like to hear bad news either. Like that my CMBS book was about to implode and tht Mark Walsh was a crook.
These days my good news is that I am not in prison.
Dick Fuld