Page Six reports that a 14-acre Southampton spread, which sat on the market for two years at an asking price of $59 million, is in contract for $45 mill. Whose ass should you start kissing now in order to ensure an invite for next summer? Unclear. The buyer is unidentified but Post did offer up the (vaguely oxymoronic?) hint that he is a “recession-proof financier” as a jumping off point. Right off the top of our heads we’ve got:
…nothing. John Paulson is a possibility for obvious reasons, but he just bought a new place on First Neck Lane like two seconds ago. Stevie-Boy is a maybe, ’cause like he told friend in confidence recently, “ain’t nothin bringing this house down,” but he’s already got a place on Further Lane, and more important stuff to be spending his cash on (building an apartment over the garage to house the Ice Capades, mostly). Lloyd Blankfein’s been looking for a place to max and relax and has also been guaranteed by an elfin’ public official that he’s got “nothing to worry about” but he’s not spending a dime ’til this whole thing blows over. Do we need to be thinking more globally on this one? By “recession-proof,” do they not necessarily mean “has a fuck-ton of money” but more along the lines of “is insane, will not let the market’s blow to his net worth come between him and his spending habits, be they the associated costs of competing in drunk driving races with Billy Joel all summer, flying private or candy?” In which case we have a winner? Help me out on this one.
Its MEEP!
Dennis Kneale
Fucking mobsters
None of that matters as much as turning off you effing Blackberry while I’m performing.
~Huge Jackman
“then we’ll work together to identify the financier in the elephant”
you know the answer to that one already.
how do you know where I live? have you been following me? can you see me right now?
-you know who
cliff asness
@2:
Dare is no fuckin’ mafia. Its all a media invention to make da Italians look like bums. I am working to counter dis misperception with my on-air professionalism.
-cg
who is the ‘mo next to pinky?
@8 adam sender
Lenny Dykstra
WTF is a “Finacier”
@11 I think you know the answer to that, but that’s for the manufactured outrage.
@12 too tall
Fucking lobsters.
Let’s just say my book is doin’ pretty fuckin’ good. Boom. Done.
-CG
By the way, how come no one among the commentariat has been referencing the new buzz phrase: “the second derivative”?
It was me. I needed more space to space to stretch my shit out.
-sc
Figured since I’m going to be extradited, needed a new place to check out some young models.
Roman
@18 too soon
why do you think i came back to the US? to close on my new shit and check out the sweet bike trail in the back.
- joe cassano
20-cassano is example number gajillian of why all bikers are douchebags. Most hated people in Central park- even the aggressive homeless are preferable…
gotta be timmmmay
21 is correct.
-Lance A.
Who wants some of my patented rejewvination juice?
LB
Chanos
cosmetics are widely held as being recession proof… ron lauder
cosmetics are widely held as being recession proof… ron lauder
@25 definitely not chanos
-further lane resident
john “24 homes is not enough” devaney
HTNIII (please please please)
Clipse.
@11 French Pastry
@18 Good Timing
Mr and Mrs EB Williams’98
Dollars to doughnuts: Louis Moore Bacon. 2 more spreads and he’ll own the whole of Southampton.
Beware the presence of Boones Farm bottles. Ken Lewis is your guy, just think about it: (1) He will soon be in need of a retirement pad; (2) He pulled out hundreds of millions from BAC before regulators got snippy about claw-backs; (3) NYC is a “homestead” state (like Florida and Texas) where you can back up the truck on real estate investments if you are fearing civil liability any time soon because the government can’t legally take it from you.
NYC = NY. My bad.
That energy trader who thinks he’s entitled to 100 cool mill.
That guy seen with Erin B
at Southampton.
plenty of room to practice bartending
come on people, there is only one recession-proof financier