Well this is sad. Bernie Madoff’s longtime administrative assistant, Eleanor Squillari, is selling the above portrait of the boss, photographed by artist Yousuf Karsh. It once hung over her bed (Berns’ suggestion), but those were in better times, when Squillari thought of Bernie fondly as the guy whose hand job appointments she’d book, and whose mistresses she talk trash about out of jealousy. Before she found out that the mitts that grabbed her ass were those of a criminal. Now she wants nothing to do with him or his likeness and is pimping the headshot to the highest bidder. Opening bid is $2,500 and she’s hoping for about 5 large. Personally, I’m holding out for a life-sized cut out of this.
With Your Help, Bernie Madoff Will Haunt Secretary’s Bedroom No Longer
Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 23, 2009, 1:57pm
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Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 1:59PM
wow, dark and artsy
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:02PM
Love the picture
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:03PM
I will not hesitate to rape your vagina or your bank account, whichever is more fluid.
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Sep 23, 2009 2:03PM
He doesn't always drink beer...but when he does, he prefers DosEquis.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:03PM
@1 that's what I was going for.
-bernizzle
Posted by pfluger , Sep 23, 2009 2:04PM
The photo makes him look fat.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:05PM
Haunting.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:09PM
He looks so regal in that pic
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:10PM
Oh come on "He looks so regal" guys, if this isn't a perfect shot to say that to I don't know what is. He looks like a true Master of the Universe in that pic.
Posted by Tax Chick , Sep 23, 2009 2:12PM
@BBF - You win!
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:13PM
@9 Im always there when you need me
- one of several regal/beagle/Glass-Steagall guys
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:14PM
Where are his lips?
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:14PM
This looks like a publicity still from "Enemy Mine."
I always thought Louis Gossett, Jr. played the alien.
Huh.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:16PM
he looks like his polygrip has just come undone and he doesnt want anyone to notice
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:17PM
@ 3- Nice
Posted by pfluger , Sep 23, 2009 2:20PM
I think this is Bernie's prison mugshot, and they photo-shopped the convict numbers out of the picture.
His eyes show his sincere remorse.
Posted by highlyconfident , Sep 23, 2009 2:23PM
Who looks more regal? Sir Ponz or everyones favorite mustachio'd rogue?
http://riyadhciti.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/alwaleed-bin-talal-alsaud.jpg
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:23PM
Oh Elenor..I love to fuck you while I watch from above the headboard..I love fucking you but I love myself sooo much Ahhhhh I'm Fucking coming just thinking about it Ahhhhhhhhhhh
Bernie
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:24PM
@ 16- His eyes show sincere remosre? Don't know what you are talking about because I dont't see it.
Posted by call_me_daddy , Sep 23, 2009 2:26PM
@18: your acting career is off to a rocket start. contact me at Bang Bros......your wife is already there
Posted by pfluger , Sep 23, 2009 2:30PM
@19:
Stare deeply into Bernie's eyes. This is the pensive look he gives just before announcing, "I'm sorry."
Its the exact look he gave Sheryl just before he revealed his manhood to her for the very first time.
Posted by highlyconfident , Sep 23, 2009 2:30PM
@19 Look at the expression on his face, you see that, you see what he's doing? He's kinda looking right into your eyes saying "Hey Big Boy...Heyyy, How ya doing?"
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:31PM
19, please kill yourself.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:32PM
@20 that would have been far more biting if you'd said: " .. your daughters, your mother and your wife are already there... "
What's your motivation?
Posted by Tax Chick , Sep 23, 2009 2:33PM
@Highly
I would have to take the prince over the ponz...
What's the point of banging a poor man with a small penis, just sayin'
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:34PM
De Beers? Dealbreaker is funded by blood diamonds.
- Liberal Bastard
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:36PM
@25 You are doing nothing to disprove the notion that you are a dude.
(I admire the persistence though)
Posted by NakedShort , Sep 23, 2009 2:41PM
Is it just me or does he look like Marlon Brando in The Last Tango in Paris in that pic?
Butter anyone?
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:44PM
@3, Comment of the day
Posted by Tax Chick , Sep 23, 2009 2:47PM
@27
Should I care? Would having the DB masses acknowledge that I am a girl make me whole? a better person? happier?
Fuck off... I know what my naughty bits are, how to use them, and that's all that matters to me.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:48PM
@ 18, please die.
Posted by Legacy Lehman Quant , Sep 23, 2009 2:52PM
@30
keep repeating that to yourself
-not 27
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 2:55PM
@30
SHOW US YOUR TITS!
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 3:00PM
He's swallowed his lips!
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 3:07PM
That hairstyle kept workin' through all those years...
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 3:14PM
Looks like he's about to spew.
Posted by Tax Chick , Sep 23, 2009 3:26PM
@32
Repeat this: I'm going to 150
STFU
Posted by call_me_daddy , Sep 23, 2009 3:41PM
@24: call it libido, not motivation. palin's daughter had motivation.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 4:02PM
Ponzi...the new fragrance from Calvin Klein
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 4:06PM
@39 +1
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 4:35PM
That's the pic taken when he won the "Who Has The Bigger Dick" contest with Ann Coulter.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 6:34PM
He was once my gay lover
Posted by call_me_daddy , Sep 23, 2009 7:20PM
@30 GETTEMOUT
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 9:58PM
@3
A bit of genius, that.
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 10:04PM
The horror... The horror....
Posted by guest , Sep 23, 2009 11:51PM
That pic is from his PRISON PENPALS profile. He had his mouth and other orifices sewn shut to imply fidelity.
Posted by Sol R , Sep 24, 2009 11:38AM
Looks like he has a mouthful of cellmate.