• 23 Sep 2009 at 1:57 PM

With Your Help, Bernie Madoff Will Haunt Secretary’s Bedroom No Longer

By

berniemadoffheadshot.jpg
Well this is sad. Bernie Madoff’s longtime administrative assistant, Eleanor Squillari, is selling the above portrait of the boss, photographed by artist Yousuf Karsh. It once hung over her bed (Berns’ suggestion), but those were in better times, when Squillari thought of Bernie fondly as the guy whose hand job appointments she’d book, and whose mistresses she talk trash about out of jealousy. Before she found out that the mitts that grabbed her ass were those of a criminal. Now she wants nothing to do with him or his likeness and is pimping the headshot to the highest bidder. Opening bid is $2,500 and she’s hoping for about 5 large. Personally, I’m holding out for a life-sized cut out of this.

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    Comments (47)

    Newer Comments
    1. 1
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 1:59 PM

      wow, dark and artsy

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:02 PM

      Love the picture

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM

      I will not hesitate to rape your vagina or your bank account, whichever is more fluid.

    4. 4
      Posted by Becky Boot Fan | September 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM

      He doesn’t always drink beer…but when he does, he prefers DosEquis.

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM

      @1 that’s what I was going for.
      -bernizzle

    6. 6
      Posted by pfluger | September 23, 2009 at 2:04 PM

      The photo makes him look fat.

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:05 PM

      Haunting.

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:09 PM

      He looks so regal in that pic

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:10 PM

      Oh come on “He looks so regal” guys, if this isn’t a perfect shot to say that to I don’t know what is. He looks like a true Master of the Universe in that pic.

    10. 10
      Posted by Tax Chick | September 23, 2009 at 2:12 PM

      @BBF – You win!

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:13 PM

      @9 Im always there when you need me
      - one of several regal/beagle/Glass-Steagall guys

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      Where are his lips?

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      This looks like a publicity still from “Enemy Mine.”
      I always thought Louis Gossett, Jr. played the alien.
      Huh.

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:16 PM

      he looks like his polygrip has just come undone and he doesnt want anyone to notice

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:17 PM

      @ 3- Nice

    16. 16
      Posted by pfluger | September 23, 2009 at 2:20 PM

      I think this is Bernie’s prison mugshot, and they photo-shopped the convict numbers out of the picture.
      His eyes show his sincere remorse.

    17. 17
      Posted by highlyconfident | September 23, 2009 at 2:23 PM

      Who looks more regal? Sir Ponz or everyones favorite mustachio’d rogue?
      http://riyadhciti.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/alwaleed-bin-talal-alsaud.jpg

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:23 PM

      Oh Elenor..I love to fuck you while I watch from above the headboard..I love fucking you but I love myself sooo much Ahhhhh I’m Fucking coming just thinking about it Ahhhhhhhhhhh
      Bernie

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:24 PM

      @ 16- His eyes show sincere remosre? Don’t know what you are talking about because I dont’t see it.

    20. 20
      Posted by call_me_daddy | September 23, 2009 at 2:26 PM

      @18: your acting career is off to a rocket start. contact me at Bang Bros……your wife is already there

    21. 21
      Posted by pfluger | September 23, 2009 at 2:30 PM

      @19:
      Stare deeply into Bernie’s eyes. This is the pensive look he gives just before announcing, “I’m sorry.”
      Its the exact look he gave Sheryl just before he revealed his manhood to her for the very first time.

    22. 22
      Posted by highlyconfident | September 23, 2009 at 2:30 PM

      @19 Look at the expression on his face, you see that, you see what he’s doing? He’s kinda looking right into your eyes saying “Hey Big Boy…Heyyy, How ya doing?”

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:31 PM

      19, please kill yourself.

    24. 24
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:32 PM

      @20 that would have been far more biting if you’d said: ” .. your daughters, your mother and your wife are already there… ”
      What’s your motivation?

    25. 25
      Posted by Tax Chick | September 23, 2009 at 2:33 PM

      @Highly
      I would have to take the prince over the ponz…
      What’s the point of banging a poor man with a small penis, just sayin’

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:34 PM

      De Beers? Dealbreaker is funded by blood diamonds.
      - Liberal Bastard

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:36 PM

      @25 You are doing nothing to disprove the notion that you are a dude.
      (I admire the persistence though)

    28. 28
      Posted by NakedShort | September 23, 2009 at 2:41 PM

      Is it just me or does he look like Marlon Brando in The Last Tango in Paris in that pic?
      Butter anyone?

    29. 29
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:44 PM

      @3, Comment of the day

    30. 30
      Posted by Tax Chick | September 23, 2009 at 2:47 PM

      @27
      Should I care? Would having the DB masses acknowledge that I am a girl make me whole? a better person? happier?
      Fuck off… I know what my naughty bits are, how to use them, and that’s all that matters to me.

    31. 31
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:48 PM

      @ 18, please die.

    32. 32
      Posted by Legacy Lehman Quant | September 23, 2009 at 2:52 PM

      @30
      keep repeating that to yourself
      -not 27

    33. 33
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 2:55 PM

      @30
      SHOW US YOUR TITS!

    34. 34
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 3:00 PM

      He’s swallowed his lips!

    35. 35
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 3:07 PM

      That hairstyle kept workin’ through all those years…

    36. 36
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 3:14 PM

      Looks like he’s about to spew.

    37. 37
      Posted by Tax Chick | September 23, 2009 at 3:26 PM

      @32
      Repeat this: I’m going to 150
      STFU

    38. 38
      Posted by call_me_daddy | September 23, 2009 at 3:41 PM

      @24: call it libido, not motivation. palin’s daughter had motivation.

    39. 39
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 4:02 PM

      Ponzi…the new fragrance from Calvin Klein

    40. 40
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 4:06 PM

      @39 +1

    41. 41
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 4:35 PM

      That’s the pic taken when he won the “Who Has The Bigger Dick” contest with Ann Coulter.

    42. 42
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 6:34 PM

      He was once my gay lover

    43. 43
      Posted by call_me_daddy | September 23, 2009 at 7:20 PM

      @30 GETTEMOUT

    44. 44
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 9:58 PM

      @3
      A bit of genius, that.

    45. 45
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 10:04 PM

      The horror… The horror….

    46. 46
      Posted by guest | September 23, 2009 at 11:51 PM

      That pic is from his PRISON PENPALS profile. He had his mouth and other orifices sewn shut to imply fidelity.

    47. 47
      Posted by Sol R | September 24, 2009 at 11:38 AM

      Looks like he has a mouthful of cellmate.

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