$$$ The Top 10 Wall Street Halloween Costumes [The Deal]
$$$ Duff’s $100 Million Hedge Fund Spree Fails to Lure Investors [Bloomberg]
$$$ Madoff Auditor To Plead Guilty Next Week [GC]
$$$ Job of the Week: Bentley Associates Needs A Managing Director. You. [DB Career Center]
$$$ Sorkin Book Reveals Generational Rift at the New York Times [Gawker]
Archive for October 2009
$$$ The Top 10 Wall Street Halloween Costumes [The Deal]
CNBC reports the first bits of news from Bernie Madoff’s latest prison interview. First off, he cannot express how crazy it is that he got away with all this but if he had to identify one reason it was probably so easy was the fact that “everything the SEC did before 2006″ was a “waste of time.” Also? That broad running the new and improved Securities and Exchange Commission? Mary Schapiro? She’s “a dear friend” of the Master o’ Ponz. So basically this is how it’s going to work. Every few months, for remainder of his sentence, Bernie’s going ruin someone’s reputation by claiming they are one of his close personal friends, trusted advisor or fuck buddy. Who’s next? You tell us.
Update: Oh god it keeps getting better. Whistleblower “Harry Markopolos” was “a joke inside the industry” and “jealous” of Madoff’s returns.
Unlike Merrill Lynch, Goldman Sachs is yet to give official word whether or not their annual Hannukah Hoedown will be happening this year. Obviously they’ve got the cash on hand to throw the thing, but wouldn’t want to give certain Rolling Stone scribes the satisfaction of crashing and writing that “the punch tasted suspiciously like that of human blood– obviously not a coincidence and one that gives some serious credence to my thesis.” As for partying themselves, outside the office, that’s been nixed, though apparently it will not stop some brave young souls.
From: [redacted at GS]
Subject: Holiday Parties At Goldman
Apparently self-funded ones are not cool. We started talking about planning one this week and the word came down from the management team that it was a no go. It doesn’t help that one of our MDs was in Hank’s cabinet and is a major guardian of the brand, so I’m not surprised it was squashed early.
So Mike Mayo said earlier that Citi “may have to write down about $10 billion in deferred tax assets in the fourth-quarter” and Steve Liesman reports that the House of Vikula had this to say in response: “We have no idea how analysts came to this conclusion.”
Here were some earlier drafts of the statement which would’ve been released had a media representative not intercepted :
* Is he insane?
* No seriously, Mayo, what are you smoking?
* We got nothing.
* What a whackjob this guy is
You’d think most people out there wish last year’s crisis never happened. Given the loss of jobs and money, the last thing people would do is be thankful for 2008′s bounty. Countless books and even one fact-heavy cinematic masterpiece went out of their way to document just how much pain and suffering people have been through. But, when put to a vote, more people than you would think were pleased with the collective work of the institutions that inflicted pain on the global economy.
Did the last Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue fail to make it to your doorstep? Does your employer frown upon your surfing for porn on the job? CNBC is here to lend a helping hand, having uploaded some of their favorite little numbers to the site. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just have the on-air talent model these things, perhaps you’ve failed that remember that CNBC is a serious business network for serious investors, who wouldn’t take MCC or Dennis Kneale seriously if they showed up on Power Lunch in something like this:
Any Galleon Traders Still Interested In Making Use Of The Material Non-Public Info They Have On Hand Must Now Turn To Yahoo! FinanceBy Bess Levin
Logical but no less soul-crushing news from the House of Raj:
The boys and girls at Galleon no longer enjoy real time quotes unless they get it from the web, service was cancelled given that they no longer need to make trades. They’re pretty upset about it.
Merrill Lynch: Celebrate The Birth Of Christ And/Or Anniversary Of The BAC Integration On Your Own TimeBy Bess Levin
The hideous rumor that the opportunity for some legacy Merrill Lynchers to drunkenly grope each other in commemoration of JC and the Bank of America merger this year is apparently true, though it remains unclear as to why (and why the ruling was made so soon). Bank of America is presumably moving forward with its Ken Lewis Good-Bye Kegger.
Tim Geithner is, unquestionably, a hard working guy. He inherited an extreme set of circumstances and didn’t have a supporting cast around him until recently. There is no shortage of issues keeping TG up at night. But could Timmy actually be working too hard? Pilots and medical residents have strict guidelines on required rest since they deal with peoples’ lives. While you may never go under the knife of Dr. Geithner, he does have some degree of control over the economic lives of over 300 million Americans. The last thing you want is some sleep deprived guy falling asleep at the wheel of the economy. So maybe it’s time to make sure TG isn’t showing any of the physiological effects of sleep deprivation such as hallucinations and memory loss.
Part of the understanding a neutral country expects from everybody else is ‘you don’t mess in our affairs and we won’t mess in yours’. And, for the most part, foreign governments have kept themselves out of what goes on inside Switzerland’s borders. But with Italian police conducting raids on Swiss banks operating in Italy and other major European governments turning up the heat on their citizens hiding assets in Switzerland, this is as close the Swiss have come to a declaration of war in several hundred years. The stakes in this game are high.
According to KPMG, as much as 80% of the Europeans’ money in Switzerland is undeclared. In all, KPMG reckons that tax evasion could represent up to 25% of Switzerland’s total private-banking market.
Still, just because there is a lot on the line doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to hit the panic button. Typically some event happens which clearly signals a changing of the guard and that is the moment when people need to worry.