Archive for October 2009

  • 30 Oct 2009 at 5:07 PM

Write-Offs: 10.30.09

$$$ The Top 10 Wall Street Halloween Costumes [The Deal]
$$$ Duff’s $100 Million Hedge Fund Spree Fails to Lure Investors [Bloomberg]
$$$ Madoff Auditor To Plead Guilty Next Week [GC]
$$$ Job of the Week: Bentley Associates Needs A Managing Director. You. [DB Career Center]
$$$ Sorkin Book Reveals Generational Rift at the New York Times [Gawker]

berniedance.jpgCNBC reports the first bits of news from Bernie Madoff’s latest prison interview. First off, he cannot express how crazy it is that he got away with all this but if he had to identify one reason it was probably so easy was the fact that “everything the SEC did before 2006″ was a “waste of time.” Also? That broad running the new and improved Securities and Exchange Commission? Mary Schapiro? She’s “a dear friend” of the Master o’ Ponz. So basically this is how it’s going to work. Every few months, for remainder of his sentence, Bernie’s going ruin someone’s reputation by claiming they are one of his close personal friends, trusted advisor or fuck buddy. Who’s next? You tell us.
Update: Oh god it keeps getting better. Whistleblower “Harry Markopolos” was “a joke inside the industry” and “jealous” of Madoff’s returns.

Unlike Merrill Lynch, Goldman Sachs is yet to give official word whether or not their annual Hannukah Hoedown will be happening this year. Obviously they’ve got the cash on hand to throw the thing, but wouldn’t want to give certain Rolling Stone scribes the satisfaction of crashing and writing that “the punch tasted suspiciously like that of human blood– obviously not a coincidence and one that gives some serious credence to my thesis.” As for partying themselves, outside the office, that’s been nixed, though apparently it will not stop some brave young souls.

To: DealBreaker
From: [redacted at GS]
Subject: Holiday Parties At Goldman
Apparently self-funded ones are not cool. We started talking about planning one this week and the word came down from the management team that it was a no go. It doesn’t help that one of our MDs was in Hank’s cabinet and is a major guardian of the brand, so I’m not surprised it was squashed early.

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Screen shot 2009-10-30 at 3.21.35 PM.pngSo Mike Mayo said earlier that Citi “may have to write down about $10 billion in deferred tax assets in the fourth-quarter” and Steve Liesman reports that the House of Vikula had this to say in response: “We have no idea how analysts came to this conclusion.”
Here were some earlier drafts of the statement which would’ve been released had a media representative not intercepted :
* WTF?
* Is he insane?
* No seriously, Mayo, what are you smoking?
* We got nothing.
* What a whackjob this guy is

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  • 30 Oct 2009 at 2:15 PM

Presented Without Comment: Dylan Ratigan

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

[MSNBC]

  • 30 Oct 2009 at 1:42 PM

Who Enjoyed Last Year’s Meltdown?

raising hands.jpgYou’d think most people out there wish last year’s crisis never happened. Given the loss of jobs and money, the last thing people would do is be thankful for 2008’s bounty. Countless books and even one fact-heavy cinematic masterpiece went out of their way to document just how much pain and suffering people have been through. But, when put to a vote, more people than you would think were pleased with the collective work of the institutions that inflicted pain on the global economy.

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Screen shot 2009-10-30 at 12.46.42 PM.pngDid the last Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue fail to make it to your doorstep? Does your employer frown upon your surfing for porn on the job? CNBC is here to lend a helping hand, having uploaded some of their favorite little numbers to the site. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just have the on-air talent model these things, perhaps you’ve failed that remember that CNBC is a serious business network for serious investors, who wouldn’t take MCC or Dennis Kneale seriously if they showed up on Power Lunch in something like this:

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