October 2009

  • News

    Write-Offs: 10.30.09

    $$$ The Top 10 Wall Street Halloween Costumes [The Deal] $$$ Duff’s $100 Million Hedge Fund Spree Fails to Lure Investors [Bloomberg] $$$ Madoff Auditor To Plead Guilty Next Week [GC] $$$ Job of the Week: Bentley Associates Needs A Managing Director. You. [DB Career Center] $$$ Sorkin Book Reveals Generational Rift at the New […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 5:07 PM
  • News

    Bernie Madoff: Screwing The SEC, Anyone That Tickles His Fancy From Inside The Joint

    CNBC reports the first bits of news from Bernie Madoff’s latest prison interview. First off, he cannot express how crazy it is that he got away with all this but if he had to identify one reason it was probably so easy was the fact that “everything the SEC did before 2006″ was a “waste […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 4:40 PM
  • News

    Goldman Sachs Employees Will Have Their Festivus Whether Lloyd Blankfein Likes It Or Not!

    Unlike Merrill Lynch, Goldman Sachs is yet to give official word whether or not their annual Hannukah Hoedown will be happening this year. Obviously they’ve got the cash on hand to throw the thing, but wouldn’t want to give certain Rolling Stone scribes the satisfaction of crashing and writing that “the punch tasted suspiciously like […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 4:34 PM
  • News

    The Administration Stands United In How Many Jobs They’ve Created (Or Saved)

    After days of speculation, the White House produced the magic number for jobs created or saved courtesy of the stimulus. The exact total so far is 640,329 jobs. You can debate whether or not that number indicates the stimulus is doing enough to alleviate the unemployment problem, but you can’t debate how many jobs the […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 3:52 PM
  • News

    Citi: We Literally Have No Idea What Mike Mayo Is Talking About

    So Mike Mayo said earlier that Citi “may have to write down about $10 billion in deferred tax assets in the fourth-quarter” and Steve Liesman reports that the House of Vikula had this to say in response: “We have no idea how analysts came to this conclusion.” Here were some earlier drafts of the statement […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 3:06 PM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment: Dylan Ratigan

    Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy [MSNBC]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 2:15 PM
  • News

    Who Enjoyed Last Year’s Meltdown?

    You’d think most people out there wish last year’s crisis never happened. Given the loss of jobs and money, the last thing people would do is be thankful for 2008’s bounty. Countless books and even one fact-heavy cinematic masterpiece went out of their way to document just how much pain and suffering people have been […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 1:42 PM
  • News

    CNBC Inching Closer And Closer To Dropping The Pretense (And Panties)

    Did the last Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue fail to make it to your doorstep? Does your employer frown upon your surfing for porn on the job? CNBC is here to lend a helping hand, having uploaded some of their favorite little numbers to the site. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just have the on-air […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 12:06 PM
  • News

    Any Galleon Traders Still Interested In Making Use Of The Material Non-Public Info They Have On Hand Must Now Turn To Yahoo! Finance

    Logical but no less soul-crushing news from the House of Raj: The boys and girls at Galleon no longer enjoy real time quotes unless they get it from the web, service was cancelled given that they no longer need to make trades. They’re pretty upset about it.

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 11:43 AM
  • News

    Merrill Lynch: Celebrate The Birth Of Christ And/Or Anniversary Of The BAC Integration On Your Own Time

    The hideous rumor that the opportunity for some legacy Merrill Lynchers to drunkenly grope each other in commemoration of JC and the Bank of America merger this year is apparently true, though it remains unclear as to why (and why the ruling was made so soon). Bank of America is presumably moving forward with its […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 11:32 AM
  • News

    Tim Geithner Needs To Take A Personal Day

    Tim Geithner is, unquestionably, a hard working guy. He inherited an extreme set of circumstances and didn’t have a supporting cast around him until recently. There is no shortage of issues keeping TG up at night. But could Timmy actually be working too hard? Pilots and medical residents have strict guidelines on required rest since […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Switzerland Needs A Rescue

    Part of the understanding a neutral country expects from everybody else is ‘you don’t mess in our affairs and we won’t mess in yours’. And, for the most part, foreign governments have kept themselves out of what goes on inside Switzerland’s borders. But with Italian police conducting raids on Swiss banks operating in Italy and […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 10:12 AM
  • News

    Shia LaBeouf Is A Day Trader Now

    For those of you worrying the Money Never Sleeps actor would just be spouting lines about the market without the faintest clue as to what he was talking about, fear not. According to director Oliver Stone, ShiLa really gets this stuff. Sayeth Stone: “[I’m in the market]…but I don’t play it like the [pros]. Or […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 10:00 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 10.30.09

    Galleon Fears Raised In 2001 (FT) An analyst in JPMorgan’s alternative asset management arm said the unit “should reduce our allocation” in Galleon’s flagship technology fund, citing what he described as “more negative news about Raj and his cohorts.” Bankers Expect Rising Bonus Pay To Break Records (Bloomberg) And some people don’t seem to be […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 8:10 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 10.29.09

    $$$ Hedge Funder Buyers World’s Largest Yacht [WSJ] $$$ Ilya the Manatee Is Currently on a Plane to Florida [NYM] $$$ Judge, Possibly Fearing a TP’d House, Denies Bail for Madoff CFO [GC] $$$ Is Bernanke Just A Big Hypocrite? [The Deal]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 6:40 PM
  • News

    White House Will Not Be Told By The AP How Many Jobs The Stimulus Has Created

    Given the promises made on the campaign trail, there are few issues the administration is more on the line for than jobs. So when the Associated Press claims the administration is, in some cases, vastly overestimating the number of jobs created (or saved) by the stimulus, the White House takes notice. They have contingency plans […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Job Of The Week

    Hedge Fund Healthcare Analyst, New York, NY: Top global multi-billion dollar healthcare investment firm seeks hedge fund analyst. 1+ years investment banking/equity research experience preferred.

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 5:00 PM
  • News

    Jimmy Cayne Knows A Top Notch CEO When He Sees One

    Soooooo. Here’s what Jimmy Cayne had to say about about a bunch of some notable CEOs, as noted by noted by Charlie Gasparino’s new book, When Mooks Fail: Cayne usually had nothing but disdain for most of his fellow CEOs on Wall Street. He had once referred to former NYSE chairman Dick Grasso as a […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 4:55 PM
  • News

    Barney Frank’s Modest Proposal

    Now that more than a year has passed since Lehman was proven to be not too big to fail, lawmakers have had ample opportunity to inspect the wreckage and devise a detailed, reasonable strategy to prevent the same type of carnage from happening again. It’s tough enough for analysts to dig through the complex web […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 4:02 PM
  • News

    Proof The Recovery Is For Real

    Two critical questions about the economic recovery can now be put to rest: (1) is the consumer back and (2) are government policies having an impact. The answer to both questions can be found in 290 feet of opulence otherwise known as the world’s largest sailing yacht, the Maltese Falcon. After months of rumor and […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 2:31 PM
  • News

    Today In Handcuffs: Helmut Kiener Come On Down!

    German police have arrested the founder of K1 Group, Helmut Kiener, in connection with an investigation into allegations of fraud at his hedge fund, a local prosecutor said. European and U.S. authorities are investigating allegations that K1 embezzled millions of dollars from several global banks, including J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., Barclays PLC, BNP Paribas […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    Hottest Women In Business Television List Gets Lift

    Yesterday we asked you guys to tweak the list compiled by BroBible, of the hottest business bitches. And they took many of your suggestions to heart! Namely the lack of Bloomberg representation. Before we get into that, however, some notice should be paid to a little something called the Amanda Drury Phenomenon. It was pointed […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 12:10 PM
  • News

    Lawmakers Find A Way To Outfox 4-Year Old Tax Cheats

    The DC braintrust may be onto something this time when it comes to the home buyer tax credit. Faced with an outbreak of fraudulent claims from home buyers using their 4-year olds as means to an $8000 reduction in their tax bill, the time had clearly come to throw in some safeguards for the next […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 11:30 AM
  • News

    Bank Of America Cancels Christmas?

    Or just Christmas for legacy Merrill employees? We just received the following tip: No Christmas parties this year for ML offices.

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 11:12 AM
  • News

    Bloomberg Will AGAIN Provide Your Daily Ego Boost: Back By Popular Demand?

    Yesterday we mentioned the harrowing, life-shattering news that Bloomberg had removed the function that allowed you to see how many people were clicking your profile, and checking your shit out, as confirmed by a Help Desk representative. Today, it’s back. Not that we’re not thrilled for those you who enjoy the idea of people watching […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 10:33 AM
  • News

    The FSA Helps GMAC Make Its Case For More Bailout Money

    With the economic panic currently gone, you’d like to believe bailout loans now require a demonstrated need for the additional cash, not just a checking account. The administration needs some assurance that the applicant in question is operating as a unified organization with a sound business model that simply needs a few billion (more) to […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 10:23 AM
  • News

    Ken Griffin On Losing Streak

    But don’t fret my pets, this is a good thing. I told you last week after examining him in the flesh that Kenny-boy had visibly slimmed down and today Bloomberg corroborates the story (in a massive profile on the Citadel founder, and how, among other things, he’s hoping to turn RBC* into a firm that […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM

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