This one didn’t come at the hands of a fellow inmate but everyone on the inside would be wise to stay out of Sir Stan’s way to today, as odds are he is in a mood. One word– and I mean one!– and you’re gonna get punched in the mouth. We knew this was coming but no one could’ve prepared us for what it would feel like to see that Stanford, officially, was not named one of the Forbes 400. The incarcerated Ponzier told ABC in April that what’s been so upsetting to him through this entire ordeal of being accused of fraud is not the going to prison part (it’s actually not that bad), not the dragging of his name through the mud, and not the loss of his investors’ trust. What really chafes– and what brought him to tears at the time and probably still now– is that the actions taken by the SEC “deprived” him of being publicly recognized as one of the richest guys in the world. So what you can do right now, Mary Schapiro, is go to hell. Go to hell and die.
And yet! We are pleased to a whole bunch of our favorite money managers made the cut! Despite many of them taking it up the tailpipe last year, they were able to pull through, which brings us immesurable joy. Hopefully their investors can “big picture” it and see things the same way, particularly those in Kensington and Wellington. It’s not all about you. Just be happy for him. Lastly, we’re told PTJ has decided that this achievement will be the thing that finally gets him to make his fantasy of fucking on a bed of fried chicken* a reality. There’s no other way to properly celebrate. Sign up now.
*Or should it be a handy in the bathroom of the Norwalk KFC (his prefered location)? I couldn’t decide.
how did john paulson make this thing?
Kravis?
Fuck you.
CG
$6.4 billion? someone’s sleeping on the sofabed tonight.
-alexandra cohen
Bess,
From what I saw, Warren Stephens is 97… Not Tepper. He’s a PE GP, should probably be on your list.
http://www.forbes.com/2009/09/29/forbes-400_rich-list-09_all_slide_89.html
@1
Are you being serious?
Funny, there was a time when a billion was a lot of money.
I make it rain.
What what?
@5 no. but thanks for actually feeling the need to ask.
-mr. sarcasm @1
Avenge me!!!
Loeb
warren@4 “see” this:
http://www.forbes.com/lists/2009/54/rich-list-09_The-400-Richest-Americans_Rank_5.html
tepper is also 97
@8
Are you being serious when you thank me?
-5
@10, I’m not Warren, but that’s where he ranked in the slide show I saw yesterday. I stand corrected. I just think that the guy is good and doesn’t get enough cred.
Are these numbers even relevant? My net worth is (soon to be) at least 10.2 trillion times the combined total of these chumps.
I make it rain on dem hoes.
-D.Chiscolm
Maybe a cheesesteak with a file in it? Maybe that would raise his spirits?
So? How much do they bench? That’s what I thought.
-CG
I can’t wait to see:
rank billionaire firm net worth
…
69 Naked Short Handbridge Capital Partners $3.9 Billion
You know, whit all the noise that comes out of Assness’s ass he doesn’t even make it on to the other half of the list.
is this worth ackman’s tears? serious question.
Where’s Tim Sykes?
Does anybody else remember why the Forbes list contains exactly 400 people? There’s a free Coke Zero and a ZJ from TGFD if you do.
-Not TGFD
I’d go for the handy in the norwalk kfc (if I wanted to contract herpes).
how many twinkies would that buy? just asking.
Just one, but it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
@AB
According to this morning’s sample, obviously.
@20 Caroline Astor.
How the hell is Tom Barrack @ Colony Capital on this list?
Investments include:
Neverland Ranch (enabling inappropriate touching since ’90) and Meadowlands Xanadu, a currently very empty mega project outside NYC including the only indoor ski slope in the USA (despite the fact that there is REAL skiing within an hour drive of NYC)
@25- Very good. Caroline Astor’s ballroom accomodated 400 guests and she chose her invitations carefully. I’ll leave the Coke Zero on the middle kiosk of Grand Central and you can contact TGFD for your ZJ.
@26:
There is no real skiing 1 hour from NYC. By plane, car, or rail.
Absolutely none. That shit in Jersey and the Poconos is NOT real skiing.
Why are we not on this list ?
-Walter Noel and his stable of mares
@28 – Yo, tough guy, so youse a good skier and shit, huh?
CG
@28
There’s better skiing @ Hunter or Mountain Creek or even Camelback than anything you’ll find in a steel building in the Meadowlands. Don’t be such a pompous wanker, everyone knows skiing out west is better, no need to stroke your likely tiny remnants of an ego and state the obvious here.
@29 too soon
@26 I hope you don’t mean that shit in Pawling, NY, that you can see from the train? If so I fear for you.
Did someone say skiing? I can tell you all the hot spots in and around the city.
Jackson Hole rocked my fucking world last year. I still become simultaneously disturbed and aroused by my flashbacks.
I used to go skiing on Long Island as a kid.
CG
Just 35 days until A-Basin opens, mags. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2jCv-jSwpI
I misread line 296. Thought it said Handbridge not Highbridge. Really excited for NS for a minute
@24 – Thank you Dr. Spengler
I wonder who among them have mistresses
I really find it hard to believe you can’t get to White Mountain in about an hour, hour 20.