Did the last Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue fail to make it to your doorstep? Does your employer frown upon your surfing for porn on the job? CNBC is here to lend a helping hand, having uploaded some of their favorite little numbers to the site. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just have the on-air talent model these things, perhaps you’ve failed that remember that CNBC is a serious business network for serious investors, who wouldn’t take MCC or Dennis Kneale seriously if they showed up on Power Lunch in something like this:
They’d be trying to give their, you know, market insights and you’d be all distracted by the aggressive displays of cleave. Plus, there was the matter of a certain prima donna throwing a fit backstage when he was informed this hadn’t been ordered in his size:
And while we’re on the subject, can the business gurus offer some adult films you might be interested in? They’ve ranked the Top 20 best-sellers of all time, surely there’s something for everyone. Bonus round: guess which anchor counts number 19, Space Nuts, as his or her fave.
Best Selling Adult DVD’s Of All Time [CNBC]
Highlights From Frederick’s 2009 Fall Collection [CNBC]
Check Out The New CNBC! [BI]
It’s moving
I don’t think the “Show them anyway” feature on this site has been more relevant than with this story.
Shed be a lot hotter if she had a C Section scar.
I know dis broad via one a my contacts.
My sausage touched da tonsils on da broad via da fuckin’ south passage.
-cg
@ 3 Keep dreaming! She is ugly.
Bess,
Are you a lingerie type girl or more of a tshirt and boxers type?
Tim Tebow
I’ll be modeling this on Bloomberg monday, fyi.
-margaret b
brilliant post bess. every detail, i’m not going to get into them but you know what they are
CNBC sucks! bunch of hacks, ad-libbing. it a fucking joke the crap that they spew
You know the Bro Bible list plus enhancements was a little on the “light” side so I was wondering, Sharon or Bertha, or both? At the same time maybe? They’re both pretty user-friendly, at the least.
Lingerie = lunchtime!
I would like damn fine in that first number.
-mark haines
Bess – what about a post for the gays?
Not sure if the pics gave me wood or I have to piss. May as well head to the can, if I do not have to piss I can rub one out.
I volunteer to model these next week
those gloves are super kinky
‘ello blokes, ‘ows me brists?
http://tinyurl.com/yh9jz6u
–you niaoh who
I can’t believe I just gave Blodget a page view (or 20, whatever), fml
@16 That face doesn’t work. The sheila certainly doesn’t work on THAT body.
@17 you didn’t need to. all they did was upload the shots. shoulda given it to the whores (cnbc).
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-Barney Frank
Are you trying to turn me into Charlie Runkel Bess?
I felt constipated looking at that photo!
My bra size 41.3C is in danger.
mark haines
are hats supposed to be sensy?
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1237576337_daffy-jerking.gif
Space Nuts is too easy. It’s Haines.
Don’t see it there, but Kudz’ favorite is Yank My Doodle It’s a Dandy.
I’m #25 or 26
WAIT UNTIL SOME POSTERS GET OFF FROM WORK OR STUDENTS FROM SCHOOLS. JC’s 600 postings is done
I just queefed ;)
-Sue Herera
it’s moving. it’s moving.
I’m disappointed “Shut Your Mouth Or I’ll Fuck It” didn’t make the cut.
Disgusting.
D-Rat
@naked- the titles were surprisingly boring/un-punny.
Worst post of all time.
-Shia
these sluts are all frauds.
-zh
@35 spoken like a true dick lover.
@ 35 autofellate much?
@21 FTW
that’s about a 5 roper
The titles sucked.
E3: The ExtraTesticle is the best ever.
Mayo strikes again.
@BL maybe CNBC can take a cue and rework some of their shows.
Squawk (while you eat Becky’s)Box: Becky Quick takes on all cummers.
Squawk on our Teets: Mark Haines & Erin Burnett weigh the pros and cons of oral areola stimulation
The Call (of cock): Trish Regan & Melissa Francis lay naked under a glass table at the NYSE while traders mutually masturbate towards orgasm. (Larry Kudlow blows lines using the uncummed on portion of the glass table).
Power Munch: Sue Herera & Michelle Caruso-Cabrera muff dive while Dennis Kneale masturbates to the latest issue of Pet Fancy.
Street Whines: Erin Burnett tearfully complains while Mandy Drury’s with her sexy accent and fun bags draw the lions share of the viewers.
Closing Hell: Maria Bartiromo dressed only in a size 0 g string brings viewers up to date on the market’s action that day (full body shot).
Fast Money: Melissa Lee & Karen Finerman give $3 handjobs in Times Square.
@naked
Lose the Dennis Kneale imagery. I threw up in my mouth.
In related news, DB is dropping whatever little pretense there was in being a “Wall Street tabloid” and inching closer to “Maxim Magazine Online”…commentariat included.
When the next Abercrombie or American Apparel catalog comes out, I’ll be sure to send a copy to CNBC. They’ll air a story with some web content to try and maintain market share (by appealing to the lowest common denominator) and then we can read about it here where it will generate page views and “I’d hit it” comments.
@ Naked
you asshole, I can’t stop laughing, people are staring, its all your fault (you forgot the new “Mad Money,” I’m sure there’s room for, er, ‘improvement’ there…)
@HH we take solace in the fact that whatever we do keeps you coming back (to leave a version of the same basic “I hate this place and everyone here” personification of a cunt comment, ad nauseum).
@headless are you this tiresome in real life? sorry that DB does one post a day on hot women. why don’t you just read the other post (galleon gossip, citadel letters, etc) and some being such a fucking cocksucker?
I’m HeadlessHorseman and I’m too much of a retarded douche to see that DB is skewering *CNBC* for Maxim content. Kick me in the nuts. I’ll like it!
Bess,
why do bother answering HH back.
the “headless” part of his name really does him justice.
HH,
I’ve spoken to my congressmen, and he assures me that there will soon be regulations against such postings, given the advent of moral standards and such in this defining moment.
It’s sad that people try to post intelligent commentary on current, systemic events, and are treated to mockery. If you know history, such cynicism is often the precursor to the fall.
I would admonish all of you to take heed to such criticisms. Your actions are what define you.
Mark Klein MD
Headless is always bitter on Fridays after his long Thursday nights of striking out in Chelsea.
Let’s get down to brass tacks here gentlemen.
There has barely been a mention of the top porn movies.
What’s your favorite and why?
You first Headless Horseman. No gay porn allowed.
Pirates was not #1 btw. Interestingly it was #3 with Flashpoint taking the number one “position” with over 32,000 DVDs sold!
-50
@50, I never strike out, because I don’t know what that means, and I always get my man.
HH
Schindler’s Fist always has a place on my shelf.
@41 NakedShort let’s not forget Blankfein in fishnets.
Bess,
Apparently, I struck a nerve. While you’re correct, the C-bomb was a bit over the top, no? Although I don’t purport to have read everything you’ve ever written, I can’t recall you invoking that one before. I hope we can still be friends.
@ 46 – Equivalent or slightly more so in real life. I’m like kryptonite for positive thinking.
@ 48 – That was my principle reason for having selected it.
@ Naked – Your comments were, of course, excluded. 41 hadn’t even posted prior to my rant (I don’t refresh prior to posting) and the C section one was an unexpected gift.
@ SB – Nicely done.
@HH you struck no nerves, your c-bag comments just annoy the fuck out of me.
HH – Why do you exist?
Does anybody else get the feeling like we are helpless and back in Jr. High School and Bess is the only girl to get breastesses thus far so we all follow/protect her?
(nervously raising hand) ummmmm whats a c-bag?
Bess,
Even though I bet you’re sensy when you’re angry, I’ll try and mix it up a little bit. Still, I can only imagine what must come out of your mouth in bed.
@ 51
Thanks largely to the internet, I haven’t rented or purchased porn since college. Genre-wise I go for movies where the women are totally inhibited. I like the rough, taboo, no holds barred stuff where the women seem to genuinely enjoy the physicality of it. A differentiating factor between good and great porn is an innocent looking woman (no full-back tattoos of landscapes, minimal piercings) with a naturally dirty mouth.
Mike Mayo for Treasury Secretary!
*uninhibited
Bess, BTW I had a dream last night that we were both at a BOA analyst information session, kinda like the ones they had in college, and you were sitting a few seats away from me taking notes for DB but you had big ski goggles on so you were still anonymous! I think we exchanged plesantries over some hors d’oeuvres afterwards with you still rocking the ski goggles but then you abruptly left and I walked outside to find you but you were gone. You are so fucking elusive.
-50
Bess is sweeter than sweet, which is sweet.
Mike Mayo for Treasury Secretary!
Mike Mayo is a pussy.
@ Naked
http://www.ponyinarope.com/mt/mt-search.cgi?blog_id=4&tag=x%20stitch&limit=20
Thinking of Bess just sitting next to Becky Quick makes it move.
Jesus yew blokes and sheilas would root through a woodpile to fuck a snyke if someone would hold its hid!
Yew mastuhbyters mist be nearly blind by now from all the wynkin yew have to be doing. Seriously, it symes if images of brists and liggs were incopperyted into ISDAs and sickuritized prospictuses AIG would nevah have gone nearly broke! Your idoliscent finticies ah growin’ boring but some things nevah chinge, I giss.
~A. Drury
New South Wales
Austrailiar
@70 full of win
I just hope Frederick’s of Omaha doesn’t put out a catalog.
Bess, thank you for this.
it is a tie today: @Naked & @Druries: Hat off!!!
Still laughing out loud…
BTW, @Naked: that’s a tv channel worth watching. Yew mastuhbyter!
I don’t understand why Jim Cramer let DB display his Halloween costumes.
Erin Burnett
jWzr7e Thank you for your article post.Really thank you! Fantastic.