Did the last Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue fail to make it to your doorstep? Does your employer frown upon your surfing for porn on the job? CNBC is here to lend a helping hand, having uploaded some of their favorite little numbers to the site. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just have the on-air talent model these things, perhaps you’ve failed that remember that CNBC is a serious business network for serious investors, who wouldn’t take MCC or Dennis Kneale seriously if they showed up on Power Lunch in something like this:
They’d be trying to give their, you know, market insights and you’d be all distracted by the aggressive displays of cleave. Plus, there was the matter of a certain prima donna throwing a fit backstage when he was informed this hadn’t been ordered in his size:
And while we’re on the subject, can the business gurus offer some adult films you might be interested in? They’ve ranked the Top 20 best-sellers of all time, surely there’s something for everyone. Bonus round: guess which anchor counts number 19, Space Nuts, as his or her fave.
Best Selling Adult DVD’s Of All Time [CNBC]
Highlights From Frederick’s 2009 Fall Collection [CNBC]
Check Out The New CNBC! [BI]
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:10PM
It's moving
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:13PM
I don't think the "Show them anyway" feature on this site has been more relevant than with this story.
Posted by NakedShort , Oct 30, 2009 12:16PM
Shed be a lot hotter if she had a C Section scar.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:19PM
I know dis broad via one a my contacts.
My sausage touched da tonsils on da broad via da fuckin' south passage.
-cg
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:23PM
@ 3 Keep dreaming! She is ugly.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:23PM
Bess,
Are you a lingerie type girl or more of a tshirt and boxers type?
Tim Tebow
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:23PM
I'll be modeling this on Bloomberg monday, fyi.
-margaret b
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:25PM
brilliant post bess. every detail, i'm not going to get into them but you know what they are
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:28PM
CNBC sucks! bunch of hacks, ad-libbing. it a fucking joke the crap that they spew
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:31PM
You know the Bro Bible list plus enhancements was a little on the "light" side so I was wondering, Sharon or Bertha, or both? At the same time maybe? They're both pretty user-friendly, at the least.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:32PM
Lingerie = lunchtime!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:44PM
I would like damn fine in that first number.
-mark haines
Posted by turd_ferguson , Oct 30, 2009 12:44PM
Bess - what about a post for the gays?
Not sure if the pics gave me wood or I have to piss. May as well head to the can, if I do not have to piss I can rub one out.
Posted by sue herrera , Oct 30, 2009 12:44PM
I volunteer to model these next week
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:45PM
those gloves are super kinky
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:46PM
'ello blokes, 'ows me brists?
http://tinyurl.com/yh9jz6u
--you niaoh who
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 30, 2009 12:47PM
I can't believe I just gave Blodget a page view (or 20, whatever), fml
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:50PM
@16 That face doesn't work. The sheila certainly doesn't work on THAT body.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:51PM
@17 you didn't need to. all they did was upload the shots. shoulda given it to the whores (cnbc).
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:53PM
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-Barney Frank
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:56PM
Are you trying to turn me into Charlie Runkel Bess?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 12:56PM
I felt constipated looking at that photo!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:01PM
My bra size 41.3C is in danger.
mark haines
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:01PM
are hats supposed to be sensy?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:01PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1237576337_daffy-jerking.gif
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:05PM
Space Nuts is too easy. It's Haines.
Don't see it there, but Kudz' favorite is Yank My Doodle It's a Dandy.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:05PM
I'm #25 or 26
WAIT UNTIL SOME POSTERS GET OFF FROM WORK OR STUDENTS FROM SCHOOLS. JC's 600 postings is done
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:11PM
I just queefed ;)
-Sue Herera
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:16PM
it's moving. it's moving.
Posted by NakedShort , Oct 30, 2009 1:19PM
I'm disappointed "Shut Your Mouth Or I'll Fuck It" didn't make the cut.
Posted by highlyconfident , Oct 30, 2009 1:20PM
Disgusting.
D-Rat
Posted by Bess Levin , Oct 30, 2009 1:23PM
@naked- the titles were surprisingly boring/un-punny.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:28PM
Worst post of all time.
-Shia
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:32PM
these sluts are all frauds.
-zh
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:34PM
@35 spoken like a true dick lover.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:39PM
@ 35 autofellate much?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:40PM
@21 FTW
Posted by Effective Date , Oct 30, 2009 1:40PM
that's about a 5 roper
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:40PM
The titles sucked.
E3: The ExtraTesticle is the best ever.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Oct 30, 2009 1:42PM
Mayo strikes again.
Posted by NakedShort , Oct 30, 2009 1:50PM
@BL maybe CNBC can take a cue and rework some of their shows.
Squawk (while you eat Becky's)Box: Becky Quick takes on all cummers.
Squawk on our Teets: Mark Haines & Erin Burnett weigh the pros and cons of oral areola stimulation
The Call (of cock): Trish Regan & Melissa Francis lay naked under a glass table at the NYSE while traders mutually masturbate towards orgasm. (Larry Kudlow blows lines using the uncummed on portion of the glass table).
Power Munch: Sue Herera & Michelle Caruso-Cabrera muff dive while Dennis Kneale masturbates to the latest issue of Pet Fancy.
Street Whines: Erin Burnett tearfully complains while Mandy Drury's with her sexy accent and fun bags draw the lions share of the viewers.
Closing Hell: Maria Bartiromo dressed only in a size 0 g string brings viewers up to date on the market's action that day (full body shot).
Fast Money: Melissa Lee & Karen Finerman give $3 handjobs in Times Square.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 1:54PM
@naked
Lose the Dennis Kneale imagery. I threw up in my mouth.
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Oct 30, 2009 1:54PM
In related news, DB is dropping whatever little pretense there was in being a "Wall Street tabloid" and inching closer to "Maxim Magazine Online"...commentariat included.
When the next Abercrombie or American Apparel catalog comes out, I'll be sure to send a copy to CNBC. They'll air a story with some web content to try and maintain market share (by appealing to the lowest common denominator) and then we can read about it here where it will generate page views and "I'd hit it" comments.
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 30, 2009 2:04PM
@ Naked
you asshole, I can't stop laughing, people are staring, its all your fault (you forgot the new "Mad Money," I'm sure there's room for, er, 'improvement' there...)
Posted by Bess Levin , Oct 30, 2009 2:06PM
@HH we take solace in the fact that whatever we do keeps you coming back (to leave a version of the same basic "I hate this place and everyone here" personification of a cunt comment, ad nauseum).
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:08PM
@headless are you this tiresome in real life? sorry that DB does one post a day on hot women. why don't you just read the other post (galleon gossip, citadel letters, etc) and some being such a fucking cocksucker?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:09PM
I'm HeadlessHorseman and I'm too much of a retarded douche to see that DB is skewering *CNBC* for Maxim content. Kick me in the nuts. I'll like it!
Posted by Last Man Standing , Oct 30, 2009 2:16PM
Bess,
why do bother answering HH back.
the "headless" part of his name really does him justice.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Oct 30, 2009 2:21PM
HH,
I've spoken to my congressmen, and he assures me that there will soon be regulations against such postings, given the advent of moral standards and such in this defining moment.
It's sad that people try to post intelligent commentary on current, systemic events, and are treated to mockery. If you know history, such cynicism is often the precursor to the fall.
I would admonish all of you to take heed to such criticisms. Your actions are what define you.
Mark Klein MD
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:32PM
Headless is always bitter on Fridays after his long Thursday nights of striking out in Chelsea.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:34PM
Let's get down to brass tacks here gentlemen.
There has barely been a mention of the top porn movies.
What's your favorite and why?
You first Headless Horseman. No gay porn allowed.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:36PM
Pirates was not #1 btw. Interestingly it was #3 with Flashpoint taking the number one "position" with over 32,000 DVDs sold!
-50
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:38PM
@50, I never strike out, because I don't know what that means, and I always get my man.
HH
Posted by merkin capital partners , Oct 30, 2009 2:44PM
Schindler's Fist always has a place on my shelf.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:44PM
@41 NakedShort let's not forget Blankfein in fishnets.
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Oct 30, 2009 2:47PM
Bess,
Apparently, I struck a nerve. While you're correct, the C-bomb was a bit over the top, no? Although I don't purport to have read everything you've ever written, I can't recall you invoking that one before. I hope we can still be friends.
@ 46 - Equivalent or slightly more so in real life. I'm like kryptonite for positive thinking.
@ 48 - That was my principle reason for having selected it.
@ Naked - Your comments were, of course, excluded. 41 hadn't even posted prior to my rant (I don't refresh prior to posting) and the C section one was an unexpected gift.
@ SB - Nicely done.
Posted by Bess Levin , Oct 30, 2009 2:54PM
@HH you struck no nerves, your c-bag comments just annoy the fuck out of me.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:54PM
HH - Why do you exist?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 2:59PM
Does anybody else get the feeling like we are helpless and back in Jr. High School and Bess is the only girl to get breastesses thus far so we all follow/protect her?
Posted by NakedShort , Oct 30, 2009 3:10PM
(nervously raising hand) ummmmm whats a c-bag?
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Oct 30, 2009 3:15PM
Bess,
Even though I bet you're sensy when you're angry, I'll try and mix it up a little bit. Still, I can only imagine what must come out of your mouth in bed.
@ 51
Thanks largely to the internet, I haven't rented or purchased porn since college. Genre-wise I go for movies where the women are totally inhibited. I like the rough, taboo, no holds barred stuff where the women seem to genuinely enjoy the physicality of it. A differentiating factor between good and great porn is an innocent looking woman (no full-back tattoos of landscapes, minimal piercings) with a naturally dirty mouth.
Posted by Joe Mac , Oct 30, 2009 3:16PM
Mike Mayo for Treasury Secretary!
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Oct 30, 2009 3:16PM
*uninhibited
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 3:17PM
Bess, BTW I had a dream last night that we were both at a BOA analyst information session, kinda like the ones they had in college, and you were sitting a few seats away from me taking notes for DB but you had big ski goggles on so you were still anonymous! I think we exchanged plesantries over some hors d'oeuvres afterwards with you still rocking the ski goggles but then you abruptly left and I walked outside to find you but you were gone. You are so fucking elusive.
-50
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 3:18PM
Bess is sweeter than sweet, which is sweet.
Posted by Joe Mac , Oct 30, 2009 3:20PM
Mike Mayo for Treasury Secretary!
Posted by Johnnie Mustard , Oct 30, 2009 3:30PM
Mike Mayo is a pussy.
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 30, 2009 3:53PM
@ Naked
http://www.ponyinarope.com/mt/mt-search.cgi?blog_id=4&tag=x%20stitch&limit=20
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Oct 30, 2009 4:22PM
Thinking of Bess just sitting next to Becky Quick makes it move.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 4:29PM
Jesus yew blokes and sheilas would root through a woodpile to fuck a snyke if someone would hold its hid!
Yew mastuhbyters mist be nearly blind by now from all the wynkin yew have to be doing. Seriously, it symes if images of brists and liggs were incopperyted into ISDAs and sickuritized prospictuses AIG would nevah have gone nearly broke! Your idoliscent finticies ah growin' boring but some things nevah chinge, I giss.
~A. Drury
New South Wales
Austrailiar
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 4:39PM
@70 full of win
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 4:40PM
I just hope Frederick's of Omaha doesn't put out a catalog.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2009 6:32PM
Bess, thank you for this.
Posted by volatilitysmile , Oct 30, 2009 9:25PM
it is a tie today: @Naked & @Druries: Hat off!!!
Still laughing out loud...
BTW, @Naked: that's a tv channel worth watching. Yew mastuhbyter!
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2009 1:02PM
I don't understand why Jim Cramer let DB display his Halloween costumes.
Erin Burnett