It’s not just the Beard who can fall victim to a scheme designed to take his identity out for a test drive and then crash the car. Fraud almost victimized the longest arm of the law, the head of the FBI, Robert Mueller. You’d figure it would take a pretty elaborate plan to fool the head honcho of the federal crimefighting unit. These guys can smell something rotten from a mile away. You don’t just stand there and ask them to fork over their social security number and PIN number and expect any chance of success. Or do you?
He received an e-mail purporting to be from his bank that looked “perfectly legitimate” and which prompted him to verify some information. He started to follow the instructions but then realized that that “might not be such a good idea,” he said.
“Just a few clicks away from falling into a classic Internet phishing scam,” Mueller “barely caught himself in time” and admitted he “definitely should have known better.”
It was a close call, but Mueller learned his lesson and now he’d like to move on. Which he will, under the watchful eye of his own long arm of the law.
He said he changed his passwords and tried to pass the incident off to his wife as a “teachable moment,” but she was having none of it and told him, “It is our money. No more Internet banking for you!”
He is going to get his ass whipped but good.
Hope he remembers his safe word.
Greg,
Don’t wear a wig and tell me you are madonna.
DK
The security guard at a Connecticut nudist camp who is allegedly related to Madoff represents the short arm of the law.
Greg,
Your tenure at Dealbreaker is starting to closely resemble Bush’s time in the White House. It didn’t take long for people to realize your rhetorical ineptitude or for them to deplore your worthless content. Now, we’re all left waiting for your inevitable removal. Something tells me you won’t get to toss the coin at the start of a Cowboys game like Captain Freedom did. Too bad.
Put us out of our misery, Bess.
Greg,
What are you wearing today?
Bawney Fwank
Mrs M: Don’t fill it out with our numbers, Rob.
Mueller: Don’t tell me my business devil woman.
BOB SLYDELL
So what you do is you take the month-old stories from the newswires and
you bring them down to the dealbreaker audience?
GREG MICHAELS
That, that’s right.
BOB PORTER
Well, then I gotta ask, then why can’t the audience just go directly to the news sites, huh?
GREG MICHAELS
Well, uh, uh, uh, because, uh, dealbreaker readers are not good at dealing with the Internet.
BOB SLYDELL
You physically take the news from the news sites?
GREG MICHAELS
Well, no, my, my Bloomberg terminal does that, or, or Google.
BOB SLYDELL
Ah.
BOB PORTER
Then you must physically spice up the stories with insightful commentary for the dealbreaker audience.
GREG MICHAELS
Well…no. Yeah, I mean, sometimes.
BOB SLYDELL
Well, what would you say… you DO here?
GREG MICHAELS
Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn Internet so
the finance nerds on dealbreaker don’t have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at
dealing with people!!! Can’t you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS
WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!
@ 5,
homophobia has no place here. please examine your motives
@7 – Excellent.
@8 – Can I examine your motives a wittle bit?
Bawney Fwank
Excellent post.
-Harvey Blanus Esq.
Greg-
Don’t pass gas and tell me its me.
grandma Michaels
What has 2 pairs of lips and goes fwap fwap fwap?
“No more soup for you!”
- SN
I want to jar Greg’s poop loose with my cock.
Greg-
I am going to request your Facebook friendship, and then after we become friends, I am going to block you.
-Jeff Macke
I went to philosophy class today, so I have this to say. If we continue to insult Greg, his confidence will exponentially decrease and his quality of writing will as well. However, if we do not continue to insult him, he will think his work is good when in reality, it is worst than black transvestite midget porn. So inevitably, Greg’s work will suck no matter how much we insult him, so let’s just continue doing it some more.
@17=impostor. The real dealbreaker guest has an abiding appreciation black transvestite midget porn.
@7 – slow clap; slow clap